Life's Not Fair But I Don't Need to Focus on That Fact

Yesterday, at the movie theater, a worker discriminated against me. I think handicapped people are sometimes treated unfairly and I've experienced it several times. Some people are nice; when they see a person walking with a cane or sitting in a wheelchair, they smile at them and are helpful. But some companies don't train their employees (enough or at all) on how to treat handicapped people.

My first inclination told me to post on my blog that AMC discriminates against handicapped people. I wanted to say it because I wanted their company to change. I thought about the consequences of the situation and decided to stay out of the discrimination fight for many reasons. First and foremost, I want to say inspiring things. Life's unfair, and although justified, the discrimination situation is bigger than me and would cause me to become a negative person. I have valid points, but making them just proves I'm right. (I want to be improved not justified.)

Life is full of unfairness and it stings when it touches me. I could retaliate or work at becoming the best me possible. My perception comes down to my focus. I know that life is unfair and includes discrimination, and knowing it and yet choosing not to give it my focus makes me improved. It hurts when I experience unfairness, but when I show mercy (don't stick it to them) my character grows.

I don't automatically think mercifully, but choose mercy after thinking. I'm glad I learned to think before acting because I know I would regret my first inclination.

Traditions

One of the things we always do on Christmas Eve is eat the same Swedish dinner. Per usually salt cures a ham for three weeks then cooks it the day before Christmas Eve. For dinner, we always have cold ham (Jul skinka;) potato casserole (Jansson's frestelse;) cracker bread (Knäckebröd;) rye bread (Limpa bröd;) pickled herring (Sill;) cheese (Ost;) little wieners (Prinskorv;) meatballs (Köttbullar;) summer sausage (Köttkorv;) peas (Ärtor;) boiled sausage (Värmland's korv;) boiled whole potatoes (Potatis;) and Christmas soda (Jul must.) Truly a smörgasbord.

Per's Swedish and I'm American, therefore we compromise by having an American Thanksgiving and a Swedish Christmas. We always have turkey; mashed potatoes and gravy; stuffing; green beans; yams; cranberry sauce; rolls; and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but the recipes may be different. Not so, when it comes to Christmas Eve dinner - the recipes are always the same. On Christmas Eve we've eaten the same recipes for twenty years, and will most likely eat them for at least another twenty.

I like to do things the same way, so I guess you could say I'm not very adventurous. I usually order the same things at restaurants and go to the same places. I wear the same kinds of shoes and get similar hair cuts. I follow recipes and buy the same things when they need to be re-bought. I try new things (when I feel like it) and when I find something that I like I stick to it like glue.

I don't handle change very well; I'm usually the one that says, "Why do things have to change?" I love traditions, especially the ones we have at Christmastime.

Christmas Eve Table

Ham, Meatballs, Jansson's frestelse, Peas, Potatoes,
Varmland's korv, Little wieners, and Summer sausage

Per, slicing homemade Limpa bread

Cheese, Cracker bread, Herring

Does Anyone Send Christmas Cards Anymore?

As of today (December 19) we've received only five Christmas cards. Either 1) they aren't sending cards this year, 2) they've dropped us from their list, or 3) they are only sending cards electronically (but not to me.) We receive less cards every year. I enjoy reading the letters in some of the cards but now that most people use Facebook I already know their latest news. We live in an electronic world, but I still like to get cards, especially the ones that include letters and may or may not have pictures on the back. Maybe I like to get them because, to me, they say "I thought of you."

I know it takes a lot of effort to write the letters; put the pictures on the back; print them; sign the cards; stuff them; address them; lick them closed; and put a stamp on each one. (Believe me, I know! I sent my cards after realizing the time consuming process.) But giving is one of the gestures of the season. I can hear responses like, "I'm too busy - when will I find the time?" echoing in my head. I used to think of sending cards as no big deal, but it IS a big deal! It's a big deal because it takes time; and it's a big deal because each person receiving it is honored knowing they were considered.

It takes a lot of time and effort to get cards in the mail. To me, giving cards are like giving gifts - they say the same things, "I thought of you and wanted to give you this." True, the gift is in the giving, but even the person who thinks Christmas cards are no big deal will love it when they receive one.

Perhaps sending cards is a thing of the past. I hope not. Christmastime includes giving; and those who receive cards love knowing they were thought about. 

Christmas, To Me

The topic of Christmas is a volatile one for me because I don't want to be forced to give a present. When I think about that situation, I think of two things. First, I don't give things to people only at Christmastime but throughout the year. Second, being forced to give makes me mad. I'd rather give something because it's what I choose. I give gifts from my heart that say "I care about you" not "I got you something because I felt compelled." I realize Christmas doesn't just mean presents, but gift-giving is a major part of the holiday.

For some reason I equate Christmas with presents. If someone doesn't like what I give them; their displeasure is on them for not being happy with what they got - not on me for not giving what they wanted. (The fact that I gave them a gift at all meant I cared about them.)

It's okay if the main thing some people like about Christmas is getting presents. The main thing I like about Christmas is spending time with people. I can focus on what I like and give gifts to people because I care about them.

You Marry Who You Date

"You marry who you date" is good advice. Most people marry a person with whom they spend time. Therefore, if they can't see themselves marrying someone, why even date them? right? 

It's sad to see a person marry someone they didn't intend - and it happens when a person changes their standards or goals. They rationalize their behavior by saying, "I'm too in love to be without them." They sacrifice what they really want - and it ends up costing them most. I say, "have the courage to stand up for yourself and don't sacrifice your standards or goals for anyone" (no matter how cute they are or how attracted you are to them.) 

I believe a person can fall in love with the wrong someone and it spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E. People fall in love with all sorts of people who are nice to them (like doctors and patients.) Just because someone is nice to them doesn't mean they love them and it usually doesn't mean they want to spend the rest of their life with them. Affairs start with innocent flirting. The problem is that one person isn't available. Perhaps the unavailable person is unhappy in their relationship so they allow themselves to be attracted to the other person. The flirting starts, they cross the line, then the trouble begins. Why would a person allow themselves to get in a situation that causes heartache?

True love makes a person feel happy. I think single people need to only date available people and ones who improve their lives.

The Evolution of Technology

I created a Pintrest account the other day. The application allows me to collect images, websites, recipes, etc. that I like and anyone who views my page can see it. I like how my likes are visible to the world because maybe someone will like something that I found and pin it to their wall...thing...or whatever it's called. Someone told me, "if you pin things you like, then I'll know your style." I thought, "why don't I just tell you?" It seems like as the world evolves, people talk to each other less. People appear to be more comfortable talking to each other through technology than in person. I envision people in the future never talking to each other and saying, "if you want to know me, look at my page."

I can see a day where the only people one talks to are those within their family. Parent's talk to their children to teach them how to speak. Siblings talk to each other and develop strong bonds from spending so much time together. Then parents give their children smart phones or computers and they talk to people through chat or social media. Children grow up and feel more comfortable talking to people through technology. Then they say, "if you want to know me, look at my page."

It seems like in the future, languages will exist but will only be spoken within the family and maybe with close friends otherwise, they'll be written. I don't have to talk to cashiers now because after they scan my items, I pay for them by swiping my card. Technology is advancing so quickly that I can't keep up with it; nor do I want to. I feel old and I'm only in my 40's. Things change (evolve) and I find myself wanting to hang on to what I know. I don't want to evolve, I want to stay the way I am, after all why fix what isn't broken?