Bullies

It seems like when a person disagrees with someone else sometimes they use bulling or intimidation tactics to get the other person to conform to their point of view.

The Govenor of Wisconsin said he wanted to eliminate union government employees from being able to bargain for their benefits and he wanted to pay them less so he wouldn't have to lay them off. He said it would save the state lots of money and allow them to balance the budget because government union workers get paid a lot of money due to what the unions negotiate. The unions didn't want to make any changes or have their methods questioned so union workers protested, said mean things about the bill and the Govenor and called him names.

This guy at FedEx parked in-between two handicap spaces, which isn't a parking space, and he didn't have a handicap thing on his car. Then was really loud and obnoxious inside the store. I think he was loud and obnoxious so people wouldn't call him on his bad parking behavior. The other people in the room didn't say anything to him (including me). No one said "you parked in the wrong spot" or "you're talking too loud" even though I'm sure some people noticed. Some people acted friendly toward him but probably thought things like you're obnoxious or a jerk, I know I thought those things. Sometime people do things that are wrong then are loud so others won't point out their behavior. Others are civil and "nice" and let those with bad behavior slip by because they think it's rude to say something and it's not nice to point out when a person does something wrong. Guess what? This loud and obnoxious form of bullying usually works.

If a person stands up for something and someone doesn't like it sometimes the first thing they do is say things to discredit them. I see this happen in the media all the time. If the media doesn't like something a person says or does, they dig up all kinds of dirt from their past and broadcast it to the world. What's the difference between their behavior and that of a journalist who reports things in a trashy gossip newspaper? Just because a person works for credible media like The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, or CNN doesn't mean that what they say isn't gossip. It's another form of bullying.

People are always going to disagree but where is the respect?

The World Today

For the first time, yesterday I was genuinely scared when I watched the news. There is unrest in the middle east and it seems like a domino effect, when one country falls into revolution, another one follows, then the next, then the next....We've seen it happen in Tunisia and Egypt. Now Lybia is in an uproar and there are problems in Yemen, Bahrain, Syria...places I never thought about. Places where the people have been oppressed for a long time and they are sick of it. The world has known the people are oppressed, I remember years ago that Oprah was outraged about how Afgan women were treated, yet the behavior continued until we went to war. It's surreal to think there are places in the world where people live in huts and I live in a comfortable home. Let's face it if a country isn't "westernized" or is "third world" their people are treated badly and their leaders are barbaric. China, Africa, and the Middle East are perfect examples. Now the Middle East is in turmoil, whose to say it won't spread around the world.

We have our own problems in America too. Every time I see another country in trouble I think about how gas is $3.03 (which is outrageous!) and how prices are gonna go up even more. With the unrest in the Middle East, and since we get most of our oil from over there, gas is sure to go up and I will pay a lot more at the pump. If that happens, no not 'if' but 'when'. When that happens we will see a domino effect here, everything will be more expensive because most things are related to how much we pay for gas. If gas goes up it will be more expensive for everyone to drive, including truckers, and to offset costs companies will raise prices. Food will be more expensive, it all ready is. It will cost more to buy clothes. People will cut out buying 'excess' because all their money is going towards buying gas and as a result, when they don't buy stuff, things will be more expensive not cheaper. Companies will raise prices because no one is buying their stuff and pretty soon everything will be more expensive. It will be more expensive to fly because gas is more expensive and on and on and on.

Then I saw the report about Iran sending a ship through the Suez Canal into the Mediterranean Sea. This worried me for a few reasons. First, Iran has never done that before but it seems like they don't care and are going to do whatever they want. They didn't care that other countries didn't want them to have Nuclear energy and now they have it and can make a Nuclear bomb. They already hate 'infidels' (America) and with their defiance whose to say they won't make a Nuclear missle and fire it at us? Second, the Suez Canal is right next to Israel and Israel isn't too happy to see an Iranian ship so close to their country. Iran hates Israel too. Whose to say that Iran wouldn't do something against Israel? Israel is our ally, if they were attacked doesn't that mean we would come to their aid? If that happened we'd be in another war. Third, the Medeterranian Sea is close to Europe and one step closer to America. Iran is so volital and defiant, who knows what could happen? The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

To make matters worse there is unrest in Wisconsin and Indiana and who knows where else. Unions are pushing their weight around because someone stood up and said "I'm not gonna go with you" and they don't like it. They are used to people cowering because they are big and powerful. They aren't used to having someone stand up to them and they don't like it. I don't think it's fair that a union worker can decide not to show up at work, protest, and still get a paycheck. If a person working for a company did that they'd be fired. I don't like how people can not go to work and shut things down. Teachers didn't go to work and schools had to close. There is talk about unionizing the TSA. If they did that and the TSA workers went on strike airlines would be shut down. I don't like how when workers don't like something they don't go to work and try to force companies into meeting their demands. I care because I have two children in school and if their teachers agree with teachers in Wisconsin the same thing could happen in my state and that would suck. Even worse teachers could complain about the situation in Wisconsin to my kids and because my kids think their teachers know everything they would listen to them. Its another thing that stinks to high heaven.

My husband travels for a living and is in Germany right now. He's supposed to go to Japan in March and who knows where else the rest of the year. I told him after his Japan trip I didn't want him to go anywhere else internationally because there is too much unrest in the world right now. It's bad enough that he travels in the US. If something happened how would he get home? If he were somewhere else in the world and something happened it would be next to impossible for him to get home. Plus he isn't an American citizen, he's a registered alien and has a green card. If something were to happen when he's out of the country and the US closed its borders could he come home at all?

I know my ramblings are future speculations and a bunch of what if's but I guess I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'd rather look at the world realistically and what could happen than have on rose colored glasses and be in the dark. The world is in turmoil and will never go back to the way it was. We don't go back, we go forward. We have a new normal. And I don't like what I see coming.

We All Teach

When you get, give.
When you learn, teach.
-Maya Angelou

I love that quote especially "When you learn, teach". She says "at our best we are all teachers" but I've learned things from people being at their worst! I think we teach in everything we do.

It's Normal for Kids to 'Fly the Coop'

Next year Per and I will be "empty nesters". Andrew is a Junior in High School and will graduate in May next year to go to greener pastures at BYU in Provo then on to a mission and living the rest of his life away from home. Bryan is also a Junior but in college. He will graduate next year from BYU with a degree in Advertising and wants to live in France for a few years. He hasn't lived with us since he was 19 and is happy being on his own (even though we still pay for a couple of things for him).

I always wanted my boys to have their own lives. I didn't want them to be afraid to leave home and live with us when they are 40. I wanted and still want them to be independent and think for themselves. I know they will always love to come home and be pampered by mom even after they're married. I understand Per's mom more now that my boys are grown up and why she makes his favorite foods and babies him when she sees him. She does those things because she loves him and he will always be her son even though he has a wife that takes care of him. It's true "no one does it as good as mamma".

I have said several times to my husband "if you want me to mother you, you can forget it. Go live with your mom". Kids are torn because they want the comfort of home but they want to be themselves. I think they need to leave home and be themselves but once they leave they leave and from then on are welcome to come home for visits. Part of me wants my kids to never leave but I know that is selfish, so I'll just suck up my insecurity of being a childless mother and be a big girl. I get to follow my dreams now, and I don't want to because I like being a mom, but I must remember I'll always be a mom even when I'm pursuing my dreams.

I look at moms now and realize "I've been there". I have advice to offer them if they want to hear it but I won't force them to listen. I'm the kind of person that likes doing things myself and making my own decisions. Some moms learn from other people and I guess I did too -- from a distance. I didn't and still don't like to be told what to do because I trust in my abilities and believe I'm capable. Some moms don't trust themselves and like being told how to parent. They are also domineering and pass their insecurities and lack of trust in themselves onto their kids. I want to say to those moms "trust that you do know better because you do, and you have more experience than your kids. Your kids want a parent who knows whats right and can guide them. They'll never leave you even though they leave home, believe that. Be positive, your attitude will help your kids face life with confidence. You may feel insecure on the inside, but don't say it to your kids. It will just hurt them and they will feel insecure. You're doing a good job, but always strive to be better".

Motherhood has changed for me in that I'm no longer "doing". A mom once gave me advice and now I get to pass it on to younger generations.