Friday, February 05, 2010

Prayer

I have been thinking a lot about this journal entry and how much
it touched me to write it and how much it touches me now. I
wanted to share it with you today:

February 1, 2008

Why do I cry or shed tears when I pray?

Because I believe that Heavenly Father's promises are true.
I believe in Jesus Christ and that He's my Savior.
That through faith in Him - He changes my heart.
I know that.
But I cry because the things I pray for,
I hope for,
I want so much,
and I believe they are righteous desires,
and I know the Lord will bless us with the desires of our hearts,
if we ask in faith.
and it fills my soul with happiness,
and I cry.

I cry in gratitude to my Savior.
I thank him that he provided a way to cleanse me from my sins,
and that I may become pure and sanctified.

I cry in gratitude for the promises Heavenly Father made,
that if we keep His commandments,
and do all He asks of us,
and endure to the end (have faith to the end),
we will have eternal life.

We can have the fruit of the tree that is sweeter than sweet,
and whiter than white,
and more precious than any gift,
and I look forward to that day,
with hope and steadfastness in Christ,
to enjoy those blessings with my husband and my family,
and it fills my soul with joy when I pray for these things,
and my cup runneth over,
and I cry in gratitude.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Trust, Optimism and Carts

I decided to ride the cart the last time I went going grocery shopping. It started at Sam's Club when I knew that once I walked to the back of the store and again to the front I would be wiped out. So, I decided to ride the cart. It was so great! I was able to get everything on my list, the lady who checked me out was really nice and helpful, a guy helped me load everything in my car, and I wasn't wiped out in the end!

Last night I went shopping at another grocery store with a friend. I felt kind of self-conscious riding the "dumb" cart, but I knew I wouldn't be able to walk the store and feel good, so I caved. The cart died in the dairy section, and I'm glad my friend was with me because we just loaded all my stuff in her cart and walked to the front of the store to check out. She even ran to get some bananas for me -which were at the other end of the store!

When we got back to my house, we sat in the car and talked for a few minutes. One of the things I like about my friend is her optimism. She sees the best in people and situations. I really like that about her. For me, I think it comes down to trust. When someone says something nice, I don't automatically believe it - I don't want to get fooled. "She's just saying that to be nice" "She isn't really that nice", I think. I don't trust their motives and I don't trust myself.

I decided to believe it today, and to see the best in others and situations. I decided to trust.

I think about my life before MS and I'm grateful for these lessons now. If I hadn't gotten sick, I would still think like that. I would have those assumptions, and never look at them. I've had to do the hard thing and look at my beliefs. Even though it's hard to acknowledge my stinkin' thinkin', it's worth it because I think it makes me a better person.