It's Only Funny If Both People Laugh

Recently, someone said something disrespectful to me. When I said I didn't like it, I heard something to the effect of, "Suck it up and quit having such thin skin!" I got told that they obviously didn't mean it the way I took it. Just because the words were meant differently than way I understood them doesn't mean my feelings didn't get affected. I believe we need try not to hurt people.

If a gay person heard something hurtful so they stood up for themselves and said, "How rude!" would it help them to hear, "Suck it up and quit being so thin skinned"? No, the thing that would help their feelings would be to not hear it. If a black person heard a racial slur would saying, "Oh, sorry" after saying it make it better? No, the thing that would help them would be to not say it.

When we think something would be funny, we need to ask ourselves if the other person would think it's funny. If the answer is "No" then we need to not say or do it.  It's only funny if both people laugh. Telling someone to, "Suck it up" after they see or hear something offensive doesn't mean they don't get offended. A joke is never funny when made at someone else's expense.

We need to think about what we say to other people and not make jokes at their expense. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. When we don't like someone, or don't agree with someone, or don't do what someone does, we don't have the right to hurt them. We need to respect and not laugh at them.

We don't usually laugh at someone outright because that's just rude, but we laugh at them subtly with poorly chosen words. We don't think of them when saying something rude - we think of getting a laugh -but poorly chosen words said at someone's expense hurt them. This is the formula: say something rude, laugh, get forgiven. The person who got hurt may laugh, but they may also think How rude! I'll never talk to them again.

The same thing applies when someone says something hurtful in the name of honesty. Sometimes there's no way of getting around the truth without hurting someone. But honesty is only helpful when the person gets hurt the least. Saying hurtful words may cause the person who said them to feel better, but the person who heard them may feel worse. How does honesty help the other person when the words are poorly chosen? The Golden Rule seems appropriate here: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." More clearly stated: "Don't hurt people."

Good Versus Evil

In America, the 1960's had two kinds of people - those for the Vietnam war and those against it. American's for the war believed in freedom from oppression, and American exceptionalism. American's against the war believed in free love, and an unrealistic ideal (that if they believed in peace real hard, the unpeaceful would become peaceful. Reality says that no matter a person's thinking, there are evil people in the world who want to kill them and unless they defend themselves, they will die.)

The hippies didn't go away, they just got older. In the 1980's they just changed their words to make them more appealing, but their message remained the same "make love, not war." They founded organizations that promoted social programs like political correctness (be nice,) and environmental awareness (take care of the earth.) The programs became ways to control people - how they talk, and what they believe.

There's a difference between being nice and being forced to be nice. It's nice to women not to call them "sugar" and "babe". It's nice to blacks not to call them "niggers". But you can't regulate what people say because they'll say what they want. People still call others retards, idiots, faggots, blondes, stupid, fat, ugly, and many other mean things. All political correctness has done is point out that it's not nice.

I think environmental awareness truly started out as a good thing. Don't throw trash on the ground, but in the trash can. Recycle and reuse.  Save animals from getting caught in plastic bags and soda pop rings by throwing those things away or not using them. Don't kill endangered animals, they'll become extinct. Many programs had good intentions but got corrupted as they evolved. Now, some people say that animals are as important as humans, and the EPA prevents things from getting built to preserve an animal's natural habitat.

In the 80's a lot of talk mentioned the rain forests getting demolished and how it affected the weather. Now we have climate change (once global warming,) and people say we need to protect the earth (polar bears, rain forests, the arctic circle) from evil capitalists who want to change our environment to make a buck. 

In other parts of the world, the word "communism" became derogatory so they changed their name to "green". The word green became synonymous with environment. The "greenies" took over good programs and tricked people with their words. Then they implemented radical ideas.

When I look at this situation I see that it's just good vs. evil masked by choice and control. And, I see that people are getting tricked into conforming because they aren't aware of the truth that good is being used to cause a person to do or believe in bad.

Some programs say things like this: "The environment is good and money is bad because money causes greed" (Not true. Money doesn't cause greed, people do - both rich and poor;) "Animals are good and capitalism is bad because capitalists kill animals" (Not true;) "Peace is good and war is bad because war takes loved ones away" (War does take loved ones away, but it's better to defend ourselves than to be sitting ducks;) "Saying nice things is good and saying mean things is bad because mean words hurt people's feelings" (It's not nice to hurt people's feelings, and it's worse to be forced to say nice things;) "It's better to think of happy things (like rainbows and unicorns) because the truth is just depressing" (It's better to be informed than in the clouds and led somewhere I don't want to go.)

Most American's believe in what they think is good. Unfortunately, in my opinion, America is no longer strong and most American's have become wimpy. So what are American's to do to be strong? Become aware of the tricks and stand for what's right.

Things Change

There's a time and place to do things, but some people do things at inappropriate times and places. Maybe they don't know they do wrong because no one told them, maybe they know they do wrong but don't care because they will do whatever they want. There are many reasons why people do things but when the situation is looked at stripped down, society changes unless people say "No!"

If society doesn't say anything but just turns their head for whatever reason, they accept the thing they don't defend. If they want to preserve something, they need to defend it. If they want something to change, all they need to do is nothing. When things change, all they can do is realize the truth.

Black Friday

One of my favorite things about the Thanksgiving weekend is Black Friday. Don't get me wrong - I love Thanksgiving; in fact I'm a purist, meaning that I think the entire day needs to be spent as a holiday. Sure, we watch football but we're at home not in a line somewhere waiting to buy stuff. We may not spend the day remembering how the Indians saved the Pilgrims from starvation, but if we thought about why we even celebrate Thanksgiving...I'm sure we'd be grateful.

My second favorite thing about the Thanksgiving weekend is going to Ihop (the international house of pancakes) on Friday morning for breakfast. I always get the Breakfast Sampler with plain American pancakes, and I eat my pancakes with boysenberry syrup. (I love their pancakes!)

Ihop used to be my third favorite thing and shopping early on Black Friday my second favorite thing, but I no longer go shopping on Black Friday since retailers got greedy and ruined the fun. I used to look forward to viewing the Ads the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (to see where I'd go on Friday,) but I don't even buy a newspaper since most sales for Black Friday begin before Black Friday! (On Thursday, I don't want to be shopping in some store or waiting in some line to get a deal - I want to be at home with my family eating turkey and watching football!)

Now that sales for Black Friday begin before Friday, the people who benefit are the one's who don't care about Thanksgiving. I care about the holiday, therefore, I get to miss out on waiting in the crowd for the store to open it's doors. And, because I don't shop on the holiday, I also get to miss out on the deals.

Our waiter at Ihop said they were really busy last night from 11:30pm to 4:00am. That means people shopped on Thanksgiving then went to Ihop to get food. I'm not gonna shop in the middle of the night - I'm gonna sleep! While I'm sleeping, people are buying things.

I feel sad to know I won't shop on Black Friday anymore, and that retailers ruined something fun because of their greed. But, I feel happy to know that I get to have pancakes on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving. Mmmm, pancakes!

YOLO

I don't say this to tattle on kids but to help parents:

Some kids are saying, "YOLO (yoh-loh)" these days instead of admitting they did wrong. As an alternative to saying, "That was wrong! I'll never do that again!", they justify their wrong behavior by saying, "You only live once (YOLO)." You don't have to touch the stove to know it's hot, but it seems like some defiant kids are ignoring their conscience and touching it just to say they did.

To me, saying, "YOLO" is like saying, "I can never do better, so why try?" I say, "Why settle?" and, "Why not keep trying?" What if someone worked to improve one of their qualities then said, "YOLO"? What if they said, "I didn't honk my horn at the guy in front of me when the light turned green, YOLO" or "I smiled instead of frowned, YOLO" or "I controlled myself instead of lashing out, YOLO" or "I didn't lie when I could have, YOLO." Why not say, "YOLO" when doing something right instead of wrong. I believe we don't have to accept the way we currently are because we can always be more.

MY WISH:

I hope for parents to be informed and to teach their children to listen to their conscience. Today's world says it's not cool to listen to your conscience or do what's right. Whatever the world says, kids know what's right. Parents help their kids when they teach their kids to choose the right - even if their kids will be considered "goodie-goodies" by some people. In today's world devils, darkness, and Satan are cool - angels, goodness, and Jesus aren't. Kids say that saying, "YOLO" is no longer cool; it's a joke, but they still say it, jokingly, as a justification for wrong behavior.

A Loving Heart

The only way to have a loving heart is to realize that God will make things fair in the end. (This has nothing to do with the election but the unfairness of life.) This is an imperfect world and some people have bad behavior. Not thinking God will make it right causes bitterness and grudges when people are wronged. (In the end, the people who hurt us keep living their lives and the only people who get hurt are us - if we're bitter and hold grudges.) Being loving inspires others to also be loving. (How sad to inspire people to hate.) Letting things go and being merciful gives us freedom when we're affected by unfairness.

It's OK; I still have hope

Part of me wants to sulk because my candidate didn't win yesterday. Part of me wants to say "its not fair!" and call people cheaters. But that's the natural man talking. I want to think beyond the negativity and have Godly thoughts.

I don't want to sink into a depression but rise with the optimism of a bright tomorrow. (Don't get me wrong, I don't think the optimism lies in the hands of our newly elected president. I just realize the truth, acknowledge that American's have spoken, and think it is what it is.) All I can do is work on becoming the best me possible. If I truly believe in forgiveness, mercy, and love, I will extend those things to everyone. It's hard to do - especially to the people to whom I don't think deserve it - but it necessary so that I don't get a bitter heart.

I won't hold a grudge against people who think differently than me. I will focus on the things we have in common not what we don't. My actions will say that I bring together not divide. 

Guides for Living Right

People like guides; they like direction so they know they're doing it right. Unfortunately, life has no instruction manual. No document exists that tells us how to be a kid, an adult, a sibling, a spouse, a parent, or the thousand other things we are. Same with the way to be. No manual tells us how to be kind, loving, patient, virtuous, unselfish, obedient, and the thousand other ways we strive to become. Or does it?

It's no secret to anyone that I believe in a higher power. I'm thankful to have a guide in the scriptures as to how to be a good person, but that guidance won't just magically appear in my mind, it's up to me to read it; even more so, it's up to me to understand it. The scriptures are written in a way that sounds like garble-dee-gook to some people. But I believe that if a person truly wants to know what the scriptures say, it will make sense to them.

When I mention Jesus, God, or religion, some people immediately get turned off. Some people have memories of condemnation, or think that's bull-honkey, or confirm in their minds that they don't believe it. When I think of Jesus, God, or religion, I think of love, goodness, and teaching. Whatever people think about Jesus, God, or religion, is up to them. I won't judge them for their beliefs and I hope they won't judge me for mine. I like people and separate what they do from who they are. I hope my friends will give me the same courtesy and not judge me for the religion in which I believe. They can judge my religion for it's beliefs, or me for the kind of person I am (I hope they will be merciful and realize I'm not perfect,) but it's not right to judge me for what I do. 

Anyway, I'm thankful to have a religion that teaches me how to become the best person possible. My gratitude is even more present when I think about all the good people who've taught my children and blessed their lives. I think about how we do have guides to teach us how to live and be happy. One guide that I love is directed at the youth, but I believe it applies to all of us. Click here to read it. Click here to read the scriptures.

I feel gratitude and have a thankful heart knowing that guides for living right DO exist.