The Great 2013 Snow Storm in Kansas City

Kansas has crazy weather. One day it's 40 degrees and the next day it's 90. There seems to always be one storm in the winter, and it's usually ice; beautiful but very slippery. Granted, it's only February so technically there could be more bad weather, but I hope not like this. The clouds dropped 18" of snow on the ground, then a few days later another 12" of snow fell. The first snowfall broke records; the weatherman said that Kansas hadn't had that much snow for 100 years. I'm glad we had a snow blower; it saved Per's back! The 20 degree temperature made the snow less damp. But, the wind didn't help! Per came into the house several times drenched because the snow had blown into his face! (Poor guy )

Thankfully Per kept up on clearing our driveway because otherwise the snow would have been too deep for the snow blower. He cleared our driveway because we had an appointment at the bank that morning. Tragically, right after he cleared the snow, a snow plow came down our street and his plow left a mound of snow in front of our driveway; Per had to snow blow the mound so we could leave. The snow fell so quickly that by the time we left (in our 4-wheel drive car) the road didn't look like anyone had driven on it. We got stuck at the end of our street, so drove home and called the guy at the bank and said we couldn't make it.

The weatherman said the snow fell at 3" an hour. Most businesses closed before noon. Cities in Johnson County told their residents not to drive on the road because they couldn't help if they got stuck. If drivers got stuck, they could make it harder for emergency vehicles to get around them. 

Per felt stressed that day because he had a flight to Germany, but it got cancelled. (Unavoidable because the airport shut down.) Several times, the airline rerouted his flight, then later cancelled it. (Per doesn't do things at the last minute, he prepares in advance and avoids stress. But he can't control the weather!) I'm glad that Per didn't fly to Europe on Thursday because he would've followed the storm, and he might have gotten stranded somewhere else and possibly would have had to sleep at the airport! He flew to Germany the next day (Friday,) connected through SLC (wrong direction,) and thankfully made it to Europe. The next morning upon opening his curtains he saw more snow! (At least he didn't need to shovel!)

Per using his snow blower

Our deck
(the table yard stick measures snowfall)

)

The grill and smoker on our deck - in much snow
(look at the snow by the window!)

In the afternoon, our driveway, sidewalk and down the street
(Per's hard work paid off!)

Sidewalk leading to the front of the house
(That's a lot of snow!)

Our patio furniture covered in snow

Snow in Germany

Five days later, we got more snow; another foot. That time, the snow was damper and the height and weight prevented Andrew from using the snow blower. He shoveled our driveway and stairs and did a great job! The sun's warm temperature made some of the snow melt and water covered some streets. The weatherman declared that the water would be dangerous the next day when it froze overnight and became ice. Here we are today snug in our homes, and many kids are enjoying a snow day. As I look out my window I see falling snow again!

The deck - A LOT of snow!

Trees in our backyard covered in heavy snow

Patio furniture and a look at the trees

Deck railing covered in snow
(The second storm was very windy too)

Andrew shoveling heavy snow

The yard from my front door
(Andrew finished shoveling before the guys across the street
although they had three people and had started before him!)

Tree in the front yard in much snow

After shoveling. Good job, Andrew!

I Love People

My illness has caused me to relate to many people.

I relate to people who have a terminal illness because they have a disease that will never go away. The illness has dramatically changed their life and has caused them to possibly think about things that they otherwise wouldn't. People who are terminally ill need some kind of treatment to feel better, so do I. Not everyone has the same kind of illness, and not everyone has the same type of MS. People without a terminal illness can never completely understand someone who does.

I relate to older people because they move slower than they once did. Older people feel young inside, but they can no longer do what they once could. Not only can I sympathize, I can empathize. I love older people. They have rich lives that don't end just because they get old.

I relate to people who suffer hard trials because my trial is hard too - sometime I cry. Sometimes I say, "This isn't fair!" The unfairness of life is crappy; it hurts. I don't discount people's trials but hope they won't let their trials defeat them. Trials are hard to endure but they can also make people stronger.

I relate to people who are what I used to be. I used to be very private and think my world is my world and your world is yours. After getting sick, I felt very transparent. Things dramatically changed for me in a way that I thought people could see right through me. When I got sick, the real me caused me to consider myself average instead of better. I didn't go around thinking of myself as superior but I reached for perfection and considered myself above others who didn't. I remember sitting in my car at a red light, after receiving my diagnosis, and thinking, well, now I get to feel what everyone else feels. I didn't want to be average but above average. Although my disease made me like everyone else, no one was me and that made me special.

I relate to people who appear perfect because I, too, liked the appearance of perfection. When someone came over, I cleaned beforehand because I felt good knowing that I had an immaculate house. On another note, whenever someone saw me I hoped they'd realize I held nothing back in trying to look nice. My hair always looked clean and groomed. My fingernails were always clean. I always wore shoes and clothes of the latest fashion. My makeup always made me feel pretty. I would never have dreamed of going out in public without looking my best. After getting sick, I could only sit - otherwise, I got hot and wanted to cry. I felt angry that I could't do things because I wanted to do them. I felt horrified to ask anyone for help because I didn't want to appear weak - I wanted to do things myself (clean, cook, and do everything I no longer could). I walked in a very unstable way and wore shoes that stabilized me. I quit my job and no longer had the money to by myself things; shopping didn't feel good anyway because I couldn't stand very long before wanting to sit. The changes in me made me feel very insecure and exposed. I didn't want people to judge me. Although I could no longer do a lot of things, people wanted to show me their love.

I look back on the past four years and see that my outlook on life and on people has softened. All I can do is honestly acknowledge my past and hope that someone will benefit from what I say. My current feelings are that I love people. I believe that they're good; that they can do many things; that they have a lot of strength; that they have will-power; that they can accomplish great things; that they are capable of having patience; and that they're everything they wish to be but think they aren't. My greatest hope is that people will see the good and love themselves.

My Grateful Heart

I used to clean multiple rooms in one day. Now, cleaning one room takes me several days. I do a little (not very much to a well person) and have to sit down because my heart is beating and my temperature is raised; if I kept going I'd cry. Over the years I've learned to listen to my body. In the past, I've tried to do what I once could - bad idea. My attempts to do things like I once could have resulted in: 1) Me feeling frustrated; or 2) Me crying; or 3) Me quitting.

I'v learned that it doesn't take much to break a sweat (that's when I need to sit down.) I remember several instances where cleaning caused sweat to run down my nose. (At that moment I kept going until the job got finished.)

I don't mention these things hoping that people will feel sorry for me or hoping that they'll feel sad, but hoping that they'll realize that people can't always do what they once could. I guess I also say these things hoping that people will have more compassion, and that they'll be grateful for what they can do.

I'm gentle on myself now. I allow myself time to accomplish something, and don't expect myself to do it quickly. I know my capabilities. I push myself to do my best and say, "It's great that I tried." (I know that I tried my best and that's all that matters.) I tell myself, "Progression not perfection."

My disease is hard, but it has caused me to look at things in a different way. Instead of feeling angry about my trials being unair, I feel grateful for new knowledge that has improved me.

Inspiring Words

I love to hear or read something inspiring. To me, something is true no matter who said it. I love some quotes by Mother Theresa, but I'm not a Catholic. The Dalai Lama says some great things, but do I need to be a Buddhist to appreciate them? The leaders of my church say some great things too, and I love their words. Here are some wise words that I love:

~If you judge people, you have no time to love them. -Mother Theresa

~When you know better, do better. -Maya Angelou

~It's always better to look up. -Thomas S. Monson

~First you're young, then you're middle-aged, then you're wonderful -Alice Roosevelt Longworth

~Without meaning, we drift. Without goodness, we distrust. Without love, we grow cold. Lloyd Newell

~When you get, give. When you learn, teach. -Maya Angelou

~Our prime purpose in life is to help others. If you can't help them, at least don't hurt them. -Dalai Lama

~We do what we do every day, that's why excellence comes naturally. -Unknown (A sign at Per's doctor's office.)

~Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. -Psalms 110:105

Sometimes people  say great concepts that encourage and inspire me. When I apply their words to my life, it gives me a feeling of resolve. When I think about their words, it's like having a cheering section that chants "You can do it!" I appreciate people taking the time to say things that benefit my life. Here are some great concepts:

~Dieter F. Uchtdorf said that we can rise above our trials. (He's a commercial pilot by profession, so some of his stories relate to flight.) He gave an excellent talk on prayer and the blue horizon. He compared the clouds to our problems and that when we look up - perhaps the problems are all we see, but to remember there's blue sky and sunshine above the clouds.

~Jim Rohn said that our words help people see possibilities. (He was a business philosopher and motivational speaker who inspired many people.) He mentioned how when we speak, our words shed light on something people can't see. They might say, "It dawned on me". He said that what we say can help others.

Inspiring things are all around me. Books, songs, friends, plaques, and helpful phrases in my mind, encourage and inspire me. It's up to me to see the good in things. The good lifts, it reminds me to hope, and it gives me the courage to face my trials.

Living in the World but Not Being Worldly

When in high school, often I heard "Be in the world but not of the world." One high school year, my seminary had the theme "Not of the World." Then, leaders of my church often talked about standing out and being different. I remember hearing a talk about being different where the speaker used clean-cut missionaries as an example. He said that if the world became clean-cut, the missionaries would do the opposite to stand out. I grew up hearing "stand out."

I don't want to be one of the millions, I am unique - no one else is exactly like me. I'm used to being different; I've been different than other people for most of my life. For example I'm left handed, taller than most girls (and a lot of guys), Hawaiian, Mormon, A teenage mother, chronically ill, married to a foreign man, dark brown haired, brown eyed, used to moving (having moved 20 times before the age of 17), an admirer of sci-fi/fantasy films, and a person who enjoys hearing choral music and opera.

My differences could be considered weird, but they could also be considered to give me character and make me unique. I may live in this world, but I won't go anywhere or do anything not chosen. I'm not afraid to stand out - even when standing alone.

Positive Thoughts About Living in a Loving Place

Everyone who reads my blog sees first hand that sometimes I have the tendency to assume the worst instead of hope for the best. I posted my previous post to indicate that I will honestly state how I feel without being afraid of what people think; that I'm willing to say my opinion even if people stop being my friend; and that I will stand by my beliefs even if I stand alone. My intention being said, I don't want to hurt or offend anyone. I care about my friends. Yes, I have my opinion but I don't need to rub it in anyone's face.

When I hear something bad, my first inclination is to get away from it. When I heard about bullets being purchased by homeland security, my imagination went wild. I didn't want to possibly be shot. I didn't want to have a leader who I felt didn't care about me. I didn't want to live in a country that could possibly turn on its people. (We are civilized, not barbaric. We don't act like what I see happening in Syria.) 

All the thoughts of what I didn't want caused me to think about leaving my country. I thought about where I would go and considered Mexico or Central America - somewhere where the people had values like me. (They are a loving people and family oriented; though poor.) I considered why foreigners came to America and imagined taking the idea of freedom to them and lifting them out of their poverty. (I believe that foreigners don't want to leave the country they love, but they do it to have a better life.)

As I considered the idea of offering the American ideals to a people who need it, and the thought of lifting them out of their poverty, I got excited; I saw them in a different way than I ever had before; I wanted to be a part of helping people do something good. (To lift, not tear down.)

I have hope that my country will remain great, but reality tells me differently. Things are changing and I resist some changes. Nevertheless, I will say things that include hope so that people are encouraged by my writing. Lashing out isn't helpful, expressing myself in the best way is. One of my challenges is to think before I speak. I want to live in a loving place and hope that place is the United States of America. 

Living in a Loving Place

What Per said about political parties moving left (more to the liberal side) seems true. The news said the Republican Party would be abolished. My assumption is that if that's true then a new party would probably be more liberal. In twenty years maybe people will say, "I remember when the Republican Party was conservative." Per said the Democratic Party has become more liberal too in that the "blue dog democrats" (the conservative ones) haven't been re-elected and are no longer in congress - they are no longer in the party - they are nowhere. How sad that America is becoming more liberal and leaving conservatism behind. (It seems true because, in looking at my blog posts, I've said that right is wrong and wrong is right, and I wished that people would stand for their beliefs.)

President Obama will be talked about in history. I'm scared of the possibility that under his administration, America could cease to exist. I sound negative and paranoid, but if it happens I won't be negative and paranoid because I'll be right. America may cease to exist, but the 'idea' of America - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - will live on because many people believe in that idea. That idea gave many people around the world hope that if they came to America they had a chance of getting their dream. If America gets destroyed, so will people's hope.

If America ceases to exist, another country will exist that offers hope because there's always opposites in the world. The possibility is that America will be destroyed by hate, but a new country will arise that offers hope and love. I believe that the new country would be on the North American Continent because it is blessed - it is the promised land. Maybe it's in Mexico or somewhere in Central America. The idea of a new America gives me hope. I think of the Latin people because they are so loving and family oriented. 

I believe that Latino people came to America because of hope and the American Dream. If the ideals are brought to them, it will lift them out of poverty and they will prosper. The idea sounds exciting, I kind of wish it would happen. It makes me look at Latino people in a different light.

Per said Homeland Security bought millions of bullets. Obama said he would create a civilian army. If Obama wants to use those bullets in his army, it sounds like Obama wants to control people with fear. Before there might be civilian armies in America - and before anyone gets hurt - perhaps business owners could move their companies out of the U.S. I would want to move too. I would hope to have technology, butt not oppression. I say that if hateful people want to have the U.S., let them. I love my country and don't want to say this, but I won't live with hate and oppression, so I won't be here. I want to live in a loving place.

Focusing on the Good

Yesterday, while Per prepared food for the Superbowl, I saw a commercial for PBA (Pseudobulbar Affect.) It's a neurological disorder that occurs in some people who've had brain trauma, a stroke or who have MS, ALS, Parkinson's, or Alzheimer's. (Click here or here to read more about it.) It's a disorder that includes uncontrollable laughing and/or crying. It comes on suddenly, lasts for only a few seconds, and may happen several times a day.

When Per saw the commercial he said, "I think you have that. I think you have Pro Bowler's Association. If you told someone you had PBA, they might say I didn't know you bowled." Hahahaha - that's funny! Let me laugh about that for a while.

Yes, I have PBA and it has greatly affected my life. When I first got MS, I used to say that I had no filter. I meant that I couldn't control my emotions. For example, two years ago on the airplane a little girl started crying and it made me cry.

I used to teach children but asked to be released because when I read a touching story it made me tear up - not like touching tears but I-feel-out-of-control tears. (I imagine that older kids and adults would understand my condition, but little children would probably wonder why I'm crying and I wouldn't want to scare them.)

Today, I feel people's emotions when I look in their eyes. I laugh when I see a smile or see or hear something funny, and I cry when I see or hear the same. This disorder causes people to become anti-social because they feel embarrassed. Thank goodness I use writing to express my feelings, because if I couldn't express myself and I constantly felt embarrassed because of my disorder I'd surely feel depressed.

The fact that I have this disorder is not going to stop me from doing what I want. I'm like water. If water is dammed and a crack is in the dam, it will escape. If I get dammed, I'll find another way to get what I want. I'm not going to say, "Oh well, I got stopped. I guess I'll go back." No, nothing will stand in the way of me and my goal. I relate to this quote: "Resolve says, "I will." The man says, "I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying."

I love two things in my life; 1) my family and 2) helping people. I will continue to do what I can even though I have MS and a disorder. Knowing I have yet another set back causes me to focus on what I can do.

The Truth About Good Leaders

I've had many good leaders in my life that have truly benefited me. I read once that even a superstar needed a good leader. I don't call myself a superstar but I can see that even the person at the top needs someone to believe in and inspire them. I believe the truth that it's lonely at the top, but a good leader always inspires others - even the ones at the top. Here are some of the qualities that I think exist in a good leader:

A good leader inspires their people to be the best they can be. They tell them what they don't know and understand that when someone assumes their role - they automatically move up (they keep growing - just because they no longer have that role doesn't mean they go backward...no, they go forward.)

A good leader follows rules and respects authority. They don't tell their people to do things "their way." They believe in their organization and support what it says.

A good leader hopes their people will back up their words with action. They give their people room to learn and grow and hope they will learn and grow. They never stop hoping even when their people make mistakes because they know that people learn from their mistakes and become more.

A good leader is merciful. They forgive when their people come to them and admit they did something wrong. They wipe the slate clean and forget about the past. They don't hold grudges and condemn people for who they are but inspire them to become more than the people thought possible.

A good leader inspires their people...from their people's perspective. They don't expect their people to think like them - because their people get stressed and think I can never be like that - but they say things that cause their people to consider possibilities.

A good leader is a regular person. They aren't perfect but are willing to do things that others aren't. They get called courageous, inspiring, and other things but it all comes down to one thing, namely that they act; that they do what others only wish. 

Some leaders are in the public's eye like Oprah, Ellen, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., The Dalai Lama, Thomas S. Monson, and others. We think I could never be like them. The truth is that everyone is a leader. Everyone inspires someone whether they're a parent, a spouse, a friend, or a co-worker. Everyone has the same opportunity to lift up or to drag down, to see the best or to see the worst, to forgive or to hold a grudge.

I've heard people say, "This world needs heroes." I believe that anyone can be a hero. A hero is based upon the choices they make and who they are. I hope that everyone will believe in themselves and become what the world needs. 

Communicating with Men

NOTE: In my previous posts, I meant no disrespect to men when I said boy instead of man. I didn't mean men are boys I just said boy. From now on I'll be more clear.

To women:

If you feel you're not being heard by your man, try giving him your thoughts and feelings in a letter. Men speak a lot less words than women. Perhaps your spoken words are filling him up to the point that his eyes look glazed over. Write down your feelings and edit them to say things clearly and concisely. Be brief and say what you want him to do.

Save your words for your girl friends. Don't be mad at him because he doesn't talk as much as you - he's a man not a woman. Men tune women out because they talk so much! A woman can tell when a man's not listening, but instead of getting mad, it's best to say what you want in written form. He's listening, but maybe he tunes you out because you go on and on and on. Perhaps he stares into space, or whatever he does that seems like he's not listening to you, because he just wants you to get to the point of saying what you want. Maybe he seems like he's not listening because he feels attacked by blame. Whatever the reason might be that it seems like you're talking to a brick wall, maybe it seems like that because he doesn't want to hear the details.

Have you ever heard someone give a speech and instead of using a written talk they use an outline? They rambled and you thought Please, get to the point! After a while you tuned them out (for your own sanity) and you didn't hear a word they said because it took them forever to say it. Does the example sound familiar?

If you're a mom to sons, perhaps the same thing is happening. Consider this: A mom tells her son what to do when he's young. But when he becomes a teenager and she tell him what to do he might think Be quiet!And tune her out. (He wants to do what he thinks not what you think. It stings a bit to know the truth, but your teaching to a teenager is best said by correcting mistakes in a non-condemning way.) Anyway, my point is that at some point a mom's son stops listening to her first - because he wants to listen to himself first. Perhaps a written letter that's concise, brief, tells your feelings, and states what you want your son to do will help.

A letter's great because: 1) He can read it when he wants; 2) He can read it more than once; 3) You get to state yourself and be heard. The next time you don't feel heard by him, try writing him a letter.