He Knows

For whatever reason, I felt impressed to share my notes of this talk. It was given at the April 2014 General Conference by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Here are my notes:

JEAN A. STEVENS - Primary General Presidency, 1st Counselor
(Great talk)
-Father in Heaven reaches out to [me] with His divine love; [I] reach back to him with [my] faith.
-God hears and answers [my] prayers. He watches over [me]. [I'm] not alone.
-God knows [me] and hears the pleadings of [my] heart.
-God accomplishes miracles one prayer at a time, one person at a time.
-God helps [me], not necessarily in the way [I] want but in the way that will help [me] to grow.
-Many people have put their trust in the Lord. (e.g. David escaped death by Goliath, Nephi escaped potential death from his brothers, Joseph Smith escaped the powers of darkness and received miraculous answers. Each person did so by relying on the Lord.)
-Some people who have trials, do all they can do and put their faith in God.
-Some people say, "I would never ask for this trial but I would never wish not to feel God's love."
-"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." (Isaiah 41:10)

I believe her words. I have reached out to God many times and know that He hears me and gives me peace. Sometimes all I can think of is to turn to Him and know that He will make it right.

Last Night

Here's my attempt at writing something that happened to me:

The bed was soft as I comfortably lay on it playing Angry Birds and Solitaire on my iPod. Before I turned out the light I whipped the covers off me and swung my feet over the side of the bed, stood up and crouched down to the floor to pray. Immediately, upon kneeling down, the pain began shooting up my leg. Ouch! my right knee. I forgot that I was being gentle on my knee and letting it heal from the injury I caused when I knelt on it and twisted wrong one night getting into bed. Back then, I knew I tore something because the side of my knee on the inside of my leg hurt when I touched it. For the last two weeks I had gotten into bed bum first then swung my legs around and scooted and adjusted myself until I found my comfy spot in bed. It was much easier getting into bed using my knee because I could pull myself up to where I wanted to lay and fall back onto the pillow. And, there wasn't as much scooting and adjusting involved.

Kneeling on the floor was not as comfortable as it used to be even on both knees. It's probably because I'm old and out of shape I thought. I shifted from right knee to left. Nope, that still hurts. I knelt on the front and back of each knee, and when I realized I wasn't going to get comfortable I started praying. The pain went away, or I forgot about it, and I focused on what I said. My prayer wasn't very long and when I stood up I did a face-plant on the bed. I used the bathroom for the final time then turned out my light and got into bed, bum first.

It was dark as I put the mask connected to my breathing machine over my nose. I got the mask and machine in 2000 because I have sleep apnea and used to snore loudly. Per shook the bed when I started to snore and I would stop (I really just woke up.) Now, as a result, I am a very light sleeper. (Honestly, I knew I snored because I felt my throat relax but I couldn't help it, getting the machine was a relief.) I reached over to my night stand and pushed the ON button of the machine. Air began blowing into my mask and I relaxed.

Laying snugly in bed, my thoughts turned to Uncle Carl and Aunt Leonette telling me I needed to forgive and move on with my life. Next thing I know, the buckle of my mask came off and air swished around my face from the machine. Darn mask! I thought to myself and fixed the buckle in the dark. When the mask covered my nose tightly, I carefully pulled the right strap down by my jaw so it didn't curl my ear.

Again I lay in silence waiting to fall asleep. I didn't move so the buckle wouldn't come off and my thoughts returned to Carl and Leonette. I went to church with them my first Sunday in Utah and had lunch at their house afterward. I wanted answers about my family that I wondered as a result of writing my book and I knew they would tell me the truth. Uncle Carl had known grandma and palled around with her so I thought he was a good person to ask. At the end of our conversation, and lunch, Leonette said to me "it sounds like you need to forgive and move on with your life". She was right, I had been holding grudges and thinking "if only" when that's not how it "was" no matter how hard I wished. Before I left, she asked me if I wanted Uncle Carl to give me a blessing. No one in my family had given me a blessing before and I said "yes" with excitement. After the blessing and wiping the tears from my eyes Leonette said "that was from God just for you".

A warm tear rolled down my face into my left ear and I choked up with my mask on as I thought about them. I lay in the dark for the next hour tearing up and wiping my eyes as I thought about forgiving and moving on, my family, and the many ways God has blessed my life. Despite my challenges, I am happy...truly happy.

Dear Uber-dude

Per always has a way to make me laugh. We say a prayer before every meal and sometimes he says "Dear Uber-dude." It makes us laugh then he says a 'nice' prayer. Thanks, honey, for your sense of humor. I don't think God minds.

Prayer

I have been thinking a lot about this journal entry and how much

it touched me to write it and how much it touches me now. I

wanted to share it with you today:

February 1, 2008

Why do I cry or shed tears when I pray?

Because I believe that Heavenly Father's promises are true.

I believe in Jesus Christ and that He's my Savior.

That through faith in Him - He changes my heart.

I know that.

But I cry because the things I pray for,

I hope for,

I want so much,

and I believe they are righteous desires,

and I know the Lord will bless us with the desires of our hearts,

if we ask in faith.

and it fills my soul with happiness,

and I cry.

I cry in gratitude to my Savior.

I thank him that he provided a way to cleanse me from my sins,

and that I may become pure and sanctified.

I cry in gratitude for the promises Heavenly Father made,

that if we keep His commandments,
and do all He asks of us,

and endure to the end (have faith to the end),

we will have eternal life.

We can have the fruit of the tree that is sweeter than sweet,

and whiter than white,

and more precious than any gift,

and I look forward to that day,

with hope and steadfastness in Christ,

to enjoy those blessings with my husband and my family,

and it fills my soul with joy when I pray for these things,

and my cup runneth over,

and I cry in gratitude.