Monday, February 17, 2014

What Actually Matters

A Great Quote
I read a talk yesterday that made me think so much of Per. The wife of the man I read about got quoted saying, "the man they have in mind is very different from the man I know. The man I know is a kind, loving husband and father whose greatest ambition in life is to make his family happy". She said that the public saw his stern side-one who followed rules, but his family saw his soft side-one who loved.

Comparing Americans and Swedes
A long time ago I heard a comparison between Americans and Swedes, it went like this: Americans are like peaches. When you first get to know them they are soft and sweet and easy to know. But the longer you know them, some are hard as rock in the middle and you wonder if they are really your friend. Swedes are like coconuts. Swedes are hard to get to know and tough to crack. But when you get into their hearts they are soft and sweet in the middle and a friend for life. When some Swedes trust, they are very loyal.

That comparison rings so true concerning Per-a Swede. He's hard to know and often get's misjudged. (For example, when he's quiet some people think he's snooty when the truth is that he has nothing of value to say. He's not the kind of person that babbles or says something to break the silence.)

The Truth
What matters about a person is who they really are-not who people 'think' they are. 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day is the Perfect Day to Say, "I Love You"

I don't say "I love you" only on Valentine's Day, but since the day is dedicated to love then why not say it. Everybody loves someone, whether it's a spouse, a significant other, a child, a parent, a friend, or even God. Some people hate Valentine's Day and I think they need to step outside of themselves and make someone else's day special. Yes, the holiday has become one to capitalize on, and yes, it's not the only day to express love, but everyone benefits from kindness. No matter how people say, "I love you" the important thing is to say it.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Is That What I Sounded Like?!

Look what I found! A music CD of four songs I recorded six years ago as a Christmas gift for Bryan when he served his mission in France. The first song is sung in French. I hired the French teacher at Andrew's junior high school, for a couple of hours in the evening every day for a week, to teach me to pronounce the words correctly. Then I took my friend (who accompanied me on the piano) to a recording studio where I sang all these songs. It was a fun experience for both of us! I know that a CD is small, but it represents many hours of work as well as my love for my son. Click here for the song.

The second song is music that my friend gave me a few years ago. I sang this song numerous times as it seemed to fit the range of my voice. Click here for the song. The third and fourth songs are ones I've known for 30 years. I sang them in duets many times. They bring back many happy memories! Click here or here for the songs.

Now that MS has changed my voice and caused me to no longer sing, I hear these songs and ask, is that what I sounded like? I never liked hearing my voice but it doesn't bother me now that I don't sing. Music (singing, playing the piano) was a big part of my life. 

I still love to hear great music! I have an appreciation for it and know some things intimately. I think I'll always love to hear singing. I love instrumental music too but I love hearing voices most. 

Shortly after getting sick, I sat at the piano thinking about what a bummer it was that I could no longer sing and play. A thought in my mind reassured me that I'd be able to do it again in heaven. At that moment I knew that even though I'd no longer have those skills on earth they'd be restored to me eventually; somehow I felt okay with that. From that time forward to now I haven't/and don't feel a longing desire that can never be satisfied to sing and play-I'm not sad. Granted, I don't do things that could lead to me feeling upset and I'm okay with waiting because I know I won't have to wait forever.

Back to my CD. Isn't it a great thing to have?!

Saturday, February 08, 2014

Do What You Love and Have No Regrets

We All Have to Work
I want to talk about artists. I believe an artist is anyone who does what they love. Therefore, an artist could be an accountant who loves numbers, a builder who loves building, a painter who loves painting, an electrician who loves electricity, a salesperson who loves selling, as well as an actor who loves acting, a singer who loves singing, a photographer who loves taking pictures, and the list goes on.

Art gets confused with Fine Art (which includes what is typically thought of when hearing "art"). I believe that all art is important, and that it's imperative for everyone to do what they love. People who do what they love don't have mid-life crises and change to do what they love because they are doing it. I truly think that a mid-life crisis happens because of regret, and because the person finally gets up the courage to do what they love.

Don't Waste Time
True, some people don't know what they love until later in life. They do what they do well (which includes what they love) until one day they think something like, I've been doing this for years but it's not what I love so I'm gonna stop doing that and do this instead. (They'll have to start at the beginning of doing what they love but they don't mind because it's exciting and gives them energy.)

Doing Things Just to Pay the Bills Doesn't Help You
For people who consider not doing what they love, they need to trust that when they do what they truly love they will have what they need. Others respond to things done out of love; they give freely because they feel happy. Do what you love and make someone's day, instead of forcing them to love what you don't.

People Who Do What They Love Have No Regrets
Do what you love - for your health and happiness. You won't regret it.

Thursday, February 06, 2014

Believing the Truth Not Lies

I just read a great article! The most important thing I read is that people are loved no matter what they do or look like. 
  • The article talks about how the world tells us to believe in lies about ourselves (like that we need to be a certain size, have a certain status, wear certain clothes, and the list goes on and on, in order to be "worthy" of acceptance and love), but that we need to believe the truth instead.
Lies
  • The world tells us things to make us feel bad so that we'll buy their product or idea and feel good, it tells us things just to make us get what they're selling; it's all marketing. But the good feeling doesn't last, like an addict we want more and more.
  • I bought the lies for years. Lies that made me hate and doubt myself. 
  • One of the lies I believed had to do with perfection. I couldn't look into the mirror and say, "I love you" because I had flaws. I believed the lie that I had to be perfect instead of the truth that I needed to do my best. (Lie: Only 100% completion is okay. Truth: If my best is 10% not 100% then 10% completion is okay.)
Truths
  • We need to only seek one person's love and acceptance. 
  • I want to know the truth instead of lies. 
  • I try hard. I do my best. I give my all. And if my best is less than perfect then it's okay.
  • It's taken me a long time to be kind to myself, to be gentle with me, and to love myself because for a long time I thought I wasn't worthy and didn't deserve it. (Who put that idea in my mind? Who wants me to hate and who wants me to love? Why do they want it?) 
I resonate with everything in the article and think it's worth reading. To read the article click here.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

According to a Talk I Heard, Stress is Good

A Talk About Stress
I heard a really interesting TED talk today by Kelly McGonigal called How to Make Stress Your Friend.
  • She talked about how thoughts are manifested in the body - so if a person thinks stress is bad they have a higher risk of something bad happening. 
  • She also mentioned that when a person is stressed they release a hormone called Oxytocin which she said makes you social. Apparently when a person is stressed they need human interaction - which feels to them like a hug and calms them down. 
  • She said to look at stress in a positive way: for example, when the heart pounds, thinking of it as getting more oxygen to the brain, and when the body temperature is raised, thinking of it as gaining courage. 
I really liked this talk and hearing her scientific explanation about stress. To view this talk click here.

How I Felt About Stress
Many years ago, one of my children talked about stress at home-having learned about it at school. I considered my life and couldn't identify any stress-if someone asked me about my stress, I would have said that I had none.

Stresses in My Life
Before getting MS I didn't consider myself stressed but as I look back to that time here are the stresses I see: 
  1. I served my family no matter how I felt.
  2. I wanted to do everything perfectly.
  3. I was the Young Women's President at church; and prepared to do that calling at least twice a week. 
  4. I worked a full-time job in Corporate America (where I dealt with many personalities). 
  5. I had my own business that I did in my spare time. 
  6. I did my visiting teaching every month, and visited at least three women. 
  7. I cleaned my house. 
  8. I cooked every day. 
I believe people are resilient and can handle a lot of pressure. Life hands out pressure and people don't want to deal with it, but they do because they tackle what has to be done. 

After getting MS I dealt with these different stresses:
  1. I didn't know what was happening to me and felt scared that I might die. 
  2. I had "moments" (where I froze for 5 or 6 seconds) and my words slurred.
  3. I couldn't drive for seven months. 
  4. I had to quit working. 
  5. I got released from being Young Women's President. 
  6. My entire body, especially my hands, got weak.
  7. I could no longer sing or play the piano.
  8. I could no longer write. 
  9. I could no longer type fast. 
  10. Some people stopped caring about me face-to-face and only cared about me from a distance.
  11. I learned the truth about a few things that hurt my heart.
  12. My disease progressed and caused me to walk slowly, speak differently, and stop driving permanently.
  13. Many more things.

The Good Side of Stress
When looking at the stresses in my life it would be sad if they encompassed the whole story, but they didn't because many blessings happen in my life, too. When I consider my stresses and blessings, the blessings win. (I'm very grateful that Heavenly Father blesses me with things that help me deal with my disease.) 

A Recommendation
The TED talk about stress made me think about many things. Consider listening to it, it's only 15 minutes long.