Another Great Poem

A Time to Talk

By Robert Frost

When a friend calls to me from the road

And slows his horse to a meaning walk,

I do not stand still and look around

On all the hills I haven't hoed,

And shout from where I am, What is it?

No, not as there is a time to talk.

I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,

Blade-end up and five feet tall,

And plod: I go up to the stone wall

For a friendly visit.

This picture by Susan Wheeler seems to fit the poem so well:

To me, there's nothing better than a friend; especially one who will stop what they're doing and talk to me. I try not to interrupt them but when I do and they give me regard, their action says volumes and makes me feel special. I love people. I consider everyone my friend - whether or not we have differences. I'm thankful to have friends who travel the journey of life with me so I'm not alone.

Choices, Choices, Choices - What Will I Choose?

Every action is a choice between indulgence and sacrifice. Will I have it now or later? If it doesn't make it better by waiting, why not have it now? But if waiting makes it better, why not wait? One of the things Per says most is, "He who waits for something good never waits too long". I love that statement and change "something good" to "the best". I want the best and am willing to wait to have it.

Per and I are planning a trip in 2015. I have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight by the time we take our trip. I get enticed to have yummy food now, but I know that if I don't have it now I'll be happy later. I want to be happy next year and not regret that I didn't stick to my goal. Therefore when I get enticed, I think of what I want and don't cave, and stay on track to get it. 2015 will come whether or not I try to reach my goal. I'm willing to sacrifice now to be happy then.

I Did It! (and it helped me)

What I Did

I cleaned the living room as best I could. I asked Andrew to do the things I couldn't including bringing up the vacuum from the basement. He wanted to help but he just needed to know what to do, and he didn't want my project to become his. I vacuumed the floor and did the things I could. The living room is clean thanks to me.

How it Helped Me

Cleaning and vacuuming felt hard but afterward I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I realized, I CAN do it and I'm glad I had the courage to try. Sometimes when I struggle I can feel other people's discomfort. Many times they have stepped in to help me, but I think they do it so they won't see me struggle. I truly believe that they want to be nice but when they do things for me that I can do for myself my faith in me disappears and I think, I can't do it. 

Thoughts About What I Did

I may be handicapped but I'm capable to do some things and want to try. I know myself well enough to say that I'll ask for help when I've tried to do something but can't do it. It might be hard to see me struggle but when I do it myself I'm stronger and believe in my ability. I know that people wonder if they need to help me and I hope they'll ask me before just doing it. When I say, "No thanks" I hope they'll let me try and step in only if the fact is that I can't.

Religiously speaking: Jesus' main teaching is that you can do it. He says, "It's never too late" and "Try". LDS missionaries serve to help people believe in themselves. They say, "You can do it" and they inspire people to know it for themselves. The only thing I can do for others is teach, encourage, and inspire; I can learn a lot from the master teacher.

I'm glad that I cleaned the living room and that no one did it for me.

Sometimes Tears are Good

Honesty sometimes causes me to feel the spirit. The Lord works miracles through me and I can feel it when I feel the spirit. I cry when I feel the spirit. Even though I wish I wouldn't cry, I think others feel the spirit too. I heard once that if I feel it then they feel it. Crying doesn't feel good to me, but feeling the spirit does.

A Great Poem

Good Timber

-by Douglas Malloch

The tree that never had to fight

For sun and sky and air and light,

But stood out in the open plain

And always got its share of rain,

Never became a forest king

But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil

To gain and farm his patch of soil,

Who never had to win his share

Of sun and sky and light and air,

Never became a manly man

But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:

The stronger wind, the stronger trees;

The further sky, the greater length;

The more the storm, the more the strength.

By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,

We find the patriarchs of both.

And they hold counsel with the stars

Whose broken branches show the scars

Of many winds and much of strife.

This is the common law of life.

My friend gave this poem to me in the 80's. I have since given copies to some other friends. To me, this poem speaks of strength. People are strong and sometimes they don't recognize their strength until they have to be strong. I think of those people like a limb that bends in the wind. It might get blown pretty hard, maybe even touch the ground, but it doesn't break -- it's pretty resilient!

Does Every Cloud Have a Silver Lining?

My Challenge

It's taken me five years to get through the "this sucks" phase of dealing with life with MS. I've accepted my reality (that I have MS) because my life with MS feels more normal than my life without MS. Don't get me wrong, from time to time I still recall what I used to do, the difference is that now I realize "it is what it is" and don't get bummed.

MS threw me for a loop. My life did not go in the direction I thought it would. But here's the good thing - I didn't get defeated! I didn't let the crummy disease take over my will and my mindset and make me an eternally bitter person. My challenge caused me to think negatively for a while but not permanently. (I needed some time to figure out, "What do I do now?") Something big happened to me that turned my life upside down, and it took me a while to re-discover myself. But a bad situation also caused me to discover many good things about myself - including some things that I wouldn't acknowledge.

Thoughts on Challenges

Hard things happen to everyone. The key is that when I don't get defeated but instead learn from the hard thing, I end up knowing so much more than just knowing that I face something hard. 

How I Look at Life

I'm an optimist who would rather focus on blue sky and sunshine than on clouds. I love life, and realize that I can work on developing qualities and skills even when I have a challenge. I'm like water, if I can find a way to do it I will.

What is the Focus?

No longer do I feel like lamenting - thank you for listening to me. Now, I want to focus on the silver linings; the good that comes from facing hard things. To answer my question, does every cloud have a silver lining? Yes.

A Lovgren Christmas and New Year's Eve 2013

Christmas was really fun. Bryan and Kimbra brought some food from Ikea (including Jul Must and the Christmas ham) and we had our traditional Swedish Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. The food probably tasted extra yummy because all five of us sat around the table. Kimbra and I made Swedish Limpa Bread earlier that day, and this year Per made homemade iced chocolate (is choclad) and cola (knack) candies.

Per and I decided to spend less on each person because the best thing about Christmas isn't the gifts or the food, but the people. We watched the birth of Jesus Christ on our "Joy to the World" DVD and simultaneously listened to Amy Grant's song "Breath of Heaven" to remember the greatest gift that Jesus Christ gave us (immortality), before we opened our presents under the tree.

I bought personalized stockings for each of us and a matching tree skirt with the name "The Lovgrens" on it so that Kimbra wouldn't be the only one with her name on a stocking. We had fun opening presents, and on Christmas day scratching lottery tickets (a fun tradition) and seeing a movie (this year "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug").

Andrew, Bryan, Jade, Per, and Kimbra Lovgren

Per's Ice Chocolate

Swedish Christmas Eve Dinner 2013

More Christmas Eve Dinner

Christmas Eve Ham

Later on Christmas Eve

Fluffy's favorite spot

Bryan and Kimbra

Per

Jade

Andrew

Of course on New Year's Eve we had our traditional dinner of seafood, a baguette, grapes, and cheese (this year crawfish, crab legs, and Boursin cheese.) Andrew felt sick and slept while just Per and I ate and celebrated. After dinner we watched the second movie of The Lord of the Rings triology (The Two Towers) and Fox News showed the midnight ball drop at Times Square in New York City to signify the new year. Surprisingly, I stayed awake past midnight and we watched Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve on TV. Per and I said "Happy New Year" at midnight and we went to sleep at 1:30am.

2013 New Year's Eve Dinner
(Seafood, a Baguette, Grapes, and Cheese)

Per's crawfish and My crab