A Note About Unfairness

Dear Friends,

(I call you my friends because I truly think of you as friends. I don't say it to convince myself to like you but because that's really how I feel...if I didn't think it, I wouldn't say it.)

I've been adding my blogs (since 2009) to my journal (after all a blog is a public online journal, right?) After reading some blogs from 2012, I wanted to explain the way I am.

I don't get blindsided by trials and dwell on them for a long time. When I think something's unfair, I think it's unfair for a day then say, "It is what it is" and continue living my life. I don't dwell on the unfair thing for days or months, or never let it go. Perhaps I lament wishing for something different, but I don't lament about the thing that's out of my control because I can't do anything to change it. The only thing I can do is determine how I react and what I do. 

Saying something's unfair isn't the same as complaining about a situation. When I say that something's unfair, I also say what I wish...so that it would be fair. Complaining about a situation is saying it's unfair...and that's it...no stating a solution, just complaining...how is just complaining helpful? I say, "Either state a solution (which may just be defending my beliefs, but, at least, it's doing something,) change it, or don't complain."

After reading some of my blogs in 2012 and knowing how I am today, I considered that perhaps some people thought, How can she speak about other things?...Isn't she still mad about the thing that happened to her last year? I got hurt and offended, and lamented in early 2012. After stating the thing that hurt me, I posted other things that were interesting because I carried on with my life. It took me a year to stop feeling hurt, but it only took me a day to realize "it is what it is" and know that I wouldn't let it affect my behavior. I decided how I wanted to be, and behaved that way.

I believe that by saying, "It is what it is," letting the thing go, and honestly stating the truth, it allowed me to accept the unfair thing that happened (accept that it happened) and be who I am. Unfair things happen to everyone; it's a fact of life. The important thing is how I responded. It took months for me to stop feeling hurt about the thing that happened to me, but by not dwelling on it, I learned from it. (I believe that we learn things even from crappy experiences.) I learned about forgiveness, judgement, and my behavior from a bad experience...how great for me!

An unfortunate thing happened to me but I got over it, and I still say what I think because I hope that my words help someone.