I Did It! (and it helped me)

What I Did

I cleaned the living room as best I could. I asked Andrew to do the things I couldn't including bringing up the vacuum from the basement. He wanted to help but he just needed to know what to do, and he didn't want my project to become his. I vacuumed the floor and did the things I could. The living room is clean thanks to me.

How it Helped Me

Cleaning and vacuuming felt hard but afterward I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I realized, I CAN do it and I'm glad I had the courage to try. Sometimes when I struggle I can feel other people's discomfort. Many times they have stepped in to help me, but I think they do it so they won't see me struggle. I truly believe that they want to be nice but when they do things for me that I can do for myself my faith in me disappears and I think, I can't do it. 

Thoughts About What I Did

I may be handicapped but I'm capable to do some things and want to try. I know myself well enough to say that I'll ask for help when I've tried to do something but can't do it. It might be hard to see me struggle but when I do it myself I'm stronger and believe in my ability. I know that people wonder if they need to help me and I hope they'll ask me before just doing it. When I say, "No thanks" I hope they'll let me try and step in only if the fact is that I can't.

Religiously speaking: Jesus' main teaching is that you can do it. He says, "It's never too late" and "Try". LDS missionaries serve to help people believe in themselves. They say, "You can do it" and they inspire people to know it for themselves. The only thing I can do for others is teach, encourage, and inspire; I can learn a lot from the master teacher.

I'm glad that I cleaned the living room and that no one did it for me.

A Monumental Day

Call last Friday a monumental day.

Recently, I sat in the yellow chair in my kitchen, with a cutting board on the ottoman, and cut four celery stalks into smaller pieces then put the pieces into eight bags. The work didn't make me tired so after doing the celery, I made 14 grab-bags using all of the refrigerated grape tomatoes and strawberries. A couple of days later, I sat in a rolling chair in the laundry room and sorted my clothes. While sitting in that chair, I loaded the washer and proceeded to do three loads of my laundry.

My world expanded when I realized that I could do many things when sitting, and that sitting and reaching didn't make me as tired standing and reaching. I contemplated how a rolling chair on each floor would give me mobility.  (For example, a chair in my room would allow me to keep my room clean, make my bed, go in the closet, do my hair, put on makeup, and, something I haven't done in years, iron.)

Granted, my fine motor skills are different now and I can't do some things, but I CAN do a lot of things and ask someone to do the things I can't. Some things in my house will have to be moved so I can reach them, but I'll be able to do things instead of just sit and watch tv.

That action has given me more hope than anything has in the last four years. I feel so happy and wonderful that I regard my world as a new world of possibility. Last night I thought about Friday being a monumental day.  I considered how the day felt great because I had accepted my limitations, whereas, before...I hadn't. (I'd been sick for almost four years and for most of that time I cried whenever I failed at something because I felt sad remembering the past.)

I had stopped doing the things I could no longer do and hadn't done some things for a long time. When I did them I felt a sense of elation. The elation probably intensified because I didn't think once I could do this.

Accomplishments are a Big Deal!

I used to shrug off my accomplishments and think of them as no big deal. I am creative and would think I can replicate the thing if I need it. I no longer hand-write but when I could, I wrote things to cheer people up. I can no longer sing but when I could, I sang to people to encourage them. I no longer draw but when I did, I made some wonderful art. At work, I made many good spreadsheets and typed great letters that included just the right words and sentences. At home, I ironed well and cleaned thoroughly.

I never valued the creative things I did, but I can't do them anymore and now I think Wow! I had talent. (I know I still have talent, but the great things I once did, I thought came naturally to everyone. Now I know that everyone couldn't do the great job I did.)

Everyone has at least one talent - I'd venture to say they have many. The things that came naturally to me, could also be called talents. When I felt inspired to sing, I sang. When I thought that perhaps the quote or poem or book I had would help someone, I gave it to them. I gladly gave away many things and didn't save a copy for myself because the thing was for them not me.

Today I wondered, as I looked around my home, how will my kids know that I cared about people? I think they will know because of how I cared about them.

This morning I considered all the things I had made and thought amazing. The things I did are noteworthy and deserve acknowledgment. I wouldn't have once thought that but instead would have shrugged it off because it came easy to me. I considered the things I did "no big deal."

People have talents that I don't have. Perhaps they don't consider them amazing because they come naturally, but I'm here to say "things they do that they think aren't a big deal ARE!" People need give themselves credit for what they can do instead of think they need to do more.

The Evolution of My Son, Andrew

His initials are ANGL. It suits him to be an angel because he cares about people. 

He had a happy personality as a kid. As a child, he showed his emotions on his face. I used to call him "puppy dog" when he felt sad because his eyebrows would point upward and coupled with pathetic looking big brown eyes, he looked like a sad little puppy.

He started drawing at three. His fascination with Pokemon led him to put a Pokemon card next to his paper and draw what he saw. Amazement struck me when my little three year old  produced at least 20 drawings in crayon that each looked like their respective cards. I thought he would be an artist. 

My little dare-devil artist who loved facts and always wanted to know the truth. He had no fear when he jumped off the coffee table and landed in my arms at one year old, or at three when he sped on his little pink bike on the sidewalk, going like a bat out of hell, and purposely rammed a wooden beam that threw him from his bike and made him cry, or at four when he jumped to the floor from the top bunk of his bed (just because,) and screamed bloody murder.

He got his first "real" skateboard for his sixth birthday. He positioned his ramp so that he landed on the grass, then he skated outside for hours whether the temperature felt hot or cold. When I think about his skateboarding skills then and now there's no comparison. He couldn't do an Ollie when he got his first board but he watched Tony Hawk's Trick Tips and practiced until he could. Now, he can do many tricks on his board. 

As a young kid,  if he couldn't be found outside skating he either sat in front of the TV watching his Tony Hawk video or played with his tech decks. He must have had at least 50 of them. He'd take them apart and change their wheels. If a tech deck didn't appear in his hand, he made whatever he held (if anything!) into a skateboard and did tricks with his fingers complete with sound effects!

He did well in school. His beautiful penmanship and detailed pictures on his assignments caused awe in his teachers and they would often write something like "Wow!" on his work. He never waited until the last minute to do anything. When given an assignment, he usually started working on it that day.

He began making movies in 9th grade with my little Canon digital camera. It surprised me that he could make good videos from a camera that didn't have video as its main feature. Sometimes he filmed his friends doing tricks at the skate park. Whether making a movie or filming skateboarders, he knew how to make videos because over the years he had filmed himself skateboarding many times. 

I promised to send him to Camp Woodward in California the summer before his senior year of high school. He dreamed of going to that skateboard camp and wanted to one day be a professional skater. Many times after skating he came home bummed because he didn't land a trick. When he filmed movies, he always came home happy and displayed excitement and anticipation to see the outcome. He had a natural talent for filming. His endless film ideas gave him energy, yet he wanted to be a pro skater and gave all he had to be something that required a lot of natural skill and some luck. Skateboarding didn't come naturally to him but he wanted to do it more than anything.

He chose to get a nice camera instead of going to Camp Woodward in 2011 because a camera would last longer than a week at camp. Also, he decided not to pursue becoming a pro skateboarder. He knew he had a talent in film that he didn't have in skateboarding. Ultimately, he decided to pursue filming pro skaters, and to one day become a director.

He officially graduated from high school six days ago on May 20, 2012. His huge accomplishment of completing 12 years of school causes me to feel proud of him.

• He won 1st place in a writing contest in 2nd grade with his piece called "My First Loose Tooth."
• KC Wolf (The Chiefs mascot) honored him at a school assembly in 4th grade when he won the "Three Dairy a Day" contest with his picture that depicted a Chiefs football player running with a carton of milk instead of a football.
• The Olathe Daily News mentioned him in their newspaper when he drew the ad that won their contest in 6th grade.
• He also won the top youth bowler award at the Olathe Lanes bowling alley that year.
• From 7th to 9th grade, Chisholm Trail Junior High honored him each year with academic awards for having a high GPA.
• Olathe Northwest High School honored him in the 10th and 11th grades with high GPA academic awards.
• In 10th grade his e-Comm team won 1st place in video for the Martin Luther King "Only Light, Only Love" commemoration.
• The varsity bowling team accepted him for two years and he lettered in the sport in 11th grade.
• He won 2nd place in the late night Call of Duty competition at Best Buy and received a copy of the game.
• In 12th grade, at the Student Television Network (STN) national conference in Dallas, TX, he won two awards for his documentary, "Freeling" .
• At STN, his e-Comm team also won 2nd place for their music video.
• Another award at STN said his e-Comm team won 1st place for their "sweet sixteen" film.
• He received a 1st place award for "Freeling" at the eMagine Film Festival in Kansas.
• Lastly, at the end of 12th grade, and just before graduation, he learned he won the opportunity to fly to LA to be a part of the film crew for the ATandT and Wayfinder.tv production of "On The Road With Paul Rodriguez" (a pro skateboarder.) He flew to LA the day before the graduation and began working with Paul and the crew shortly thereafter. He never gave up on having a dream and now he's living it.

Andrew is no stranger to receiving awards. It seems like he's good at whatever he touches whether it's art, school work, bowling, playing the trumpet, working at Rock Band, doing his best in Call of Duty, or making films. I'm excited to see where his future leads.

Bryan and Kimbra Married!

On April 26, 2012, Bryan and Kimbra married in the Salt Lake temple! They married on a Thursday and shared their special day with at least six other couples. As I entered the temple, I could feel the reverence of the Lord's house. Temple workers, dressed in white, whispered respectfully and directed us where to go.

First, a temple worker instructed us to take off our shoes. (I'm guessing we did this to preserve the carpet and as a form of reverence.) Anyone could put on socks, stacked neatly in a basket. We didn't change into white clothes because we only witnessed the wedding, so we wore what we had on. Second, we went to a waiting room where we sat until we heard our party's name called. I didn't say anything to the lady sitting a few chairs from me (and in another wedding party,) but I heard her say she lived in Overland Park, KS, the town next to mine...what a small world.

Third, another temple worker called our name and our party went to the room where Bryan and Kimbra would be married. During the ceremony I realized I sat watching a wedding. (Members of my church call weddings in the temple "sealings" because we believe that couples with temple marriages are sealed for time and all eternity versus marriage until death.) Bryan and Kimbra exchanged rings after the ceremony and again I didn't realize that they had just been married. The temple sealer had said "husband and wife" and Bryan and Kimbra had kissed across the alter but the fact that they had married didn't hit me until at almost the end.

We went back outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out so we could say "Congratulations!" and take pictures. Bryan and Kimbra came out of the temple and some people in our party cheered. The bride and groom plus family and friends posed for pictures on the stairs of the temple. The day felt beautiful and didn't get windy until just before we left.

Bryan and Kimbra had arranged to have a really fun wedding reception in Provo that night. They did a great job and made the event a true celebration. The food tasted awesome. Instead of a guest book they had a photo booth where participants could pose for pictures taken in black and white or color; and use props or not. The participants could keep one sheet of photos and put another sheet in a book with a note they had just written. The photo booth added to the entertainment and documented people's personalities well.

Bryan and Kimbra's Wedding Video

Bryan and Kimbra went on a cruise to the Bahamas for their honeymoon. They had a lot of fun and relaxed a bunch! They saw lots of exotic fish, ate some amazing dinners, and swam in beautiful water. They spent so much time in the sun that they got burned! (sad face)

At the Atlantis water park - Nassau, Bahamas

A little burned - but VERY happy!

They both graduated (on April 20, 2012) from BYU six days before they tied the knot.  Bryan graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Advertising and Kimbra graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Human Development. They studied hard in school but felt extremely glad when it ended.

BYU Graduation Day

I have a married son and a daughter. Kimbra's a very nice girl. She's so sweet and caring. Boys are sweet and caring too but in a different way. I didn't realize how like my boys I'd become but when she didn't laugh at some things I thought of as funny, I saw how masculine my thoughts and behaviors had become. After living in a predominantly male house, I feel happy about adding another girl to our family.

Bryan and Kimbra visited us for two weeks right after their honeymoon and attended a wedding open house for them here in Kansas. Per cooked some yummy things for dinner and Bryan, Kimbra, and I did some fun things during the day. I'm glad they visited us because it gave us more happy memories of them. I know that they need to live on their own and establish their married life, but I will miss them.

Nick Camillo (the guy who sang the song on their engagement video) gave them this as a wedding present.

Wedding Gift from Nick Camillo

Here's the actual engagement video:

Bryan and Kimbra's Engagement Video

I love them both very much and wish them much happiness in years to come!