Goals and To-Do Lists

Some people make to-do lists that are super long, and then when they don't accomplish everything (impossible) they consider themselves failures and mentally beat themselves up. (People add to their to-do lists because they don't want to forget what they remembered so they write it down.) It's good to have a running to-do list to jog a person's memory to remember something they probably forgot. The problem is that the running list is used as 'today's list'. It's a problem because what's not accomplished today is added to the next day, and by the end of the week the list is huge! People need to keep the two lists separate.

Most people call themselves 'lazy' when they do something else instead of the items on their list. They're not lazy - they're productive when they want to be. Maybe their task is so huge that they feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start so they either 1) stare into space like a zombie, or 2) do something easier, or 3) avoid it altogether. At the end of the day, when they don't accomplish all the items on their list, they call themselves a mean name. I think they need to be nice to themselves.

If a task is too huge, perhaps it can be broken down into smaller tasks - ones that aren't hard and are actually fun to accomplish. (An elephant isn't eaten in one piece, but one bite at a time.) People need to remember that the big task will be completed when all of the smaller tasks get done. People need to be patient while their goal gets accomplished. And they need to realize that goals don't have to be hard - they can actually be fun!

Here's a personal example: 

GOAL: Do all I can to be healthy. (I want to do this because I'm tired all the time, I have low energy, and I want to take my health into my own hands.) 

TASK (1) Eat healthy. 

SMALLER TASK(S): (a) Try the Swank Diet. For a year (possibly forever, but at least for a year) don't eat red meat, pork, or dark meat poultry (do eat only white meat poultry, all types of fish, and all types of shellfish.) I know it will take a while for me to remember this - I won't quit or go back to my old ways when I forget, instead I will keep trying. 

(b) Don't eat junk food. I won't eat fast foods, processed foods, fatty foods, or fried foods. (I will eat vegetables, good desserts, fruits, meat that is good for me, fats that are good for me, and carbs that are good for me.) Of course, anything in excess is bad so I'll have limitations that make sense and not be excessive. Again, it will take me a while to remember this. I won't quit when it feels hard, instead I'll remember my goal and keep trying. I will stop eating fast food and instead eat foods that are yummy and good for me. When I eat out, I will only eat things that make me feel good afterward. I won't over eat, or eat heavy things that make me feel like crap because I want to eat healthy. 

TASK (2) Exercise. I can't do things that make me hot because I feel like crying, so I need to find something that I CAN do. 

SMALLER TASK(S): (a) Find an exercise that I can do without getting hot (besides swimming - so I don't have to do my hair or wear a swimsuit!) 

(b) Implement the found exercise into my activities. (I haven't found the exercise yet, but once I do I want to add it to my life.) 

TASK (3) Use vitamins or drugs. I used to take the drug Copaxone for almost two years but feel it stopped working for me so I stopped taking it (and I'm glad because those shots really hurt!) I used to take the drug Lamotrigine (to stop the moments - which it did!) but it made me tired so I weened off of it and the moments never came back!

SMALLER TASK(S): (a) Use things that make me feel good. (All drugs have side-affects so I will look at natural things first, but if drugs do the best job then I'll use drugs.)

TASK (4) Accept my illness. Saying that I accept my illness is a hard thing to tell people because it seems like I'm giving up and not looking for other possibilities; acceptance is so definite. In years past, I've looked at other possibilities and each time it has led to me feel great disappointment. I'm open to considering other possibilities but the simple truth is that if the possibility isn't the truth I don't want to feel disappointed and get my hopes up. My disease could be something else but I choose to believe I have MS and to focus on how to live with it.

SMALLER TASK(S): (a) Say what I CAN do not what I CAN'T. I won't compare what I do now to what I did then because it's not fair to me, nor helpful to compare myself to the past. I will be happy about ALL my accomplishments no matter how small.

(b) Have good self-esteem. I won't think I'm less than anyone else because I have a handicap. I'll see the good instead of the bad in my situation. I'll listen to people, read books & magazines, and watch things on TV that lift me up not drag me down. I won't be a part of things that make me feel bad about myself.