It's So True

I'll always remember what I read once
"Even a Superstar Needs a Good Leader"
The article talked about how high performers need encouragement. They need goals that help them be all they can be.

It applies to everyone
I believe that everyone is a Superstar. Everyone has the ability to reach for the stars and become more than what they currently are.

It can change someone's life
Everyone can also encourage others to be Superstars. They can encourage them to reach for the stars and become more than they thought possible.

Reassuring People

I felt inspired to say this on Sunday, February 3, 2013:

"A good leader inspires their people...from their people's perspective. They don't expect their people to think like them - because their people get stressed and think I can never be like that - but they say things that cause their people to consider possibilities."

The possibilities statement is an example of giving people true freedom. The opposite of freedom is control. Control says, "I'm in charge" and "Do what I say". Freedom says, "You're in charge" and "Do what you think is best". Freedom encourages and allows the other person to choose. Control offers no encouragement and only says, "Do what I say because only I know best." 

Control doesn't trust anyone but themselves. Freedom and trust go hand in hand because freedom trusts that the person will make a good choice. Whatever the choice is, freedom has hope that a good choice will be made. Freedom also has belief that ability is had to make a good choice.

Parents maintain control over their children. They tell them what to do when they're young because their children truly don't know what's best. I can see how power struggles exist between parents and teenage children when at some point they both think they know what's best. I think when a power struggle shows itself, it's the perfect time for parents to step back and let their children take the lead, and for parents to let their action (stepping back) say, "I believe in you and know you can do it."

Good parents don't get offended when their children want to take the lead but realize that their children are doing exactly what their parents raised them to do - make decisions (not scared to make decisions because only their parents can do that and do it right.) 

Good parents give control to their children and are there to lift them through encouraging words when they fall. Parents can greatly influence and inspire their children when they give the reins to their children and essentially say, "Here, you drive".

Everyone wants the freedom of being in charge of their own life. No one wants to be controlled, on the contrary everyone wants the reassurance that they can do it. When freedom is given, it is out of love. When a person is given freedom that love is given back through appreciation.

Yes, I Can!

While talking to my son the other day, I indicated that I couldn't do anything without getting hot and tired. I told him how it made me sad to think that once I could do something that now I couldn't. He said "I'll bet you can do it. You'll just be slower but you should try." Well, I tried. And guess what? I did it! (Albeit slower.)

I CAN do things. That knowledge makes me feel like wanting to try.

I accept my disability in some ways. On the one hand I accept what I can do (e.g. Thinking, I wish I could do my hair better but I'm doing the best I can). And on the other hand I don't (e.g. I cry when I can't do things to the same degree of doing them before getting sick).

My perfectionism says, "Do all or do nothing" (e.g. the thought, if I can't do it well then I won't do it at all). My all or nothing thinking stops me from trying because (in my mind) I don't do it good enough. (All or nothing thinking goes back to my childhood of me trying to please people and do everything right.) I'm the kind of person who strives for excellence. I've learned that excellence doesn't mean being perfect but doing my best. (I can be excellent and imperfect at the same time when I do my best.) Not trying isn't doing my best but giving up. I need to to try even when I think that I can do better. (I need to realize that I'm doing the best I can, and if I'm not then I need to try harder.)

I love that President Hinckley said, "Do you best, plus a little more". He strove for excellence and I appreciate his counsel reminding me to do the same. My church teaches excellence. It teaches me that I can be more than I am and I work for it. I love the saying "Why hang with the turkeys when you can soar with the eagles?" That saying is really true and in essence says, "You can go further than you think, so try".

The stories of the pioneers are about excellence. They put one foot in front of the other when they thought they couldn't go on. They kept going when they wanted to give up. They thought, just get me over that mountain. It's inspirational. I think, if they could do it I can too. I don't accept that what I do is all that I can do. I thank my son for encouraging me to try to do what I considered impossible.