The Truth

"You can please some of the people some of the time , but you can't please all of the people all of the time"

I'm just me, and I'm an American. I believe a subtle trap is to be like everyone else - to be politically correct (not say things that could upset someone), to be fair (not be all I can be because someone else isn't) and to not care about money (but instead care more about what I do regardless of money).

The American way is freedom

• To climb the ladder, be all you can be and make as much money as possible.
• To strive for and get to the top and be rewarded with success.
• To live where you want, do what you want and be who you want.

It's NOT American to be politically correct
It's impossible to say things that don't offend someone because eventually it'll happen. Political Correctness is control - controlling someone to say nice things when the people who push political correctness sometimes don't say nice things themselves. The truth is that most people try to say nice things and not hurt people but sometimes they do, and if they don't try to be nice then it's their choice. Another truth is that it's a choice to be offended.

It's NOT American to try to please everyone
Everyone doesn't win (there's survival of the fittest and it's a common fact...if they get something they don't deserve, they know it.) The truth is that making everyone a winner just makes everyone weak - when someone loses then they try harder to hopefully win the next time. If they don't win and get offended it's their choice to be offended.

It's NOT American to think money is evil
Just because someone doesn't have it doesn't mean I shouldn't have it either. The truth is that everyone has the same ability to get what they want. If someone get's offended by someone else having what they don't it's their choice to be offended instead of doing their best to get it.

The Truth
When drama is stripped away all that's left is choice. Everything is a choice and the things I stated are things designed to bring America down, to not make America great and to make America like everyone else. I'm proud to be an American and I love my country - the land of the free and home of the brave.

Avoiding Subtle Traps

Control
What I want so much is to be heard and understood. I've learned that everyone hears and understands in their own way. When I am open to knowing about being heard and understood the way they hear and understand me it expands my mind. Everyone is free to be themselves and they don't have to do it my way. I truly believe a subtle trap is control.

Hiding
When first having MS symptoms I felt greatly exposed and wanted to hide. I felt ashamed about needing others to do for me what I couldn't (sweep my floor, make my bed, clean my house.) When others helped me I learned 1) it's humbling to me and 2) they show their love. I've had MS for a while so I'm used to having help. I ask myself, "If I never needed their help would I have seen their love?" I truly believe a subtle trap is wanting to hide - letting other's believe I don't need help when I do.

Dishonesty
It takes great courage and honesty to admit private and imperfect things (some people call them weaknesses.) Some things are swept under the rug and no one knows about them but who is affected by dishonesty? I am ... it's my character trait that says 'dishonest'. I've heard the statement "The truth hurts" and believe the statement is a subtle trap - dishonesty is what hurts ... the truth liberates.

Drama
Getting caught in drama is like being extremely close to the fire and not realizing being cooked. I find a great sense of relief by stepping away from the drama and remembering that it'll work out. Letting myself get worked up, worry, be angry or say something mean shows the kind of person I am. It's a subtle trap to keep me focused on unimportant things so I miss what's actually important.

All these things are subtle and I want to recognize subtle traps and avoid them.

God Bless America

Today is the American Independence Day - the 4th of July. I love my country and thank the many hero's throughout history that fought to defend our liberty and make us free. Today, I celebrate with a barbecue, watermelon, and fireworks!

• This rendition of the American national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner, is sung in a minor key and I think the song is stirring: Click here

• This song, America the Beautiful, has touching words and images: Click here
• I love The Battle Hymn of the Republic and (to me) this version is really good!: Click here
• This song God Bless the U.S.A. is the way I feel too: Click here

Reassuring People

I felt inspired to say this on Sunday, February 3, 2013:

"A good leader inspires their people...from their people's perspective. They don't expect their people to think like them - because their people get stressed and think I can never be like that - but they say things that cause their people to consider possibilities."

The possibilities statement is an example of giving people true freedom. The opposite of freedom is control. Control says, "I'm in charge" and "Do what I say". Freedom says, "You're in charge" and "Do what you think is best". Freedom encourages and allows the other person to choose. Control offers no encouragement and only says, "Do what I say because only I know best." 

Control doesn't trust anyone but themselves. Freedom and trust go hand in hand because freedom trusts that the person will make a good choice. Whatever the choice is, freedom has hope that a good choice will be made. Freedom also has belief that ability is had to make a good choice.

Parents maintain control over their children. They tell them what to do when they're young because their children truly don't know what's best. I can see how power struggles exist between parents and teenage children when at some point they both think they know what's best. I think when a power struggle shows itself, it's the perfect time for parents to step back and let their children take the lead, and for parents to let their action (stepping back) say, "I believe in you and know you can do it."

Good parents don't get offended when their children want to take the lead but realize that their children are doing exactly what their parents raised them to do - make decisions (not scared to make decisions because only their parents can do that and do it right.) 

Good parents give control to their children and are there to lift them through encouraging words when they fall. Parents can greatly influence and inspire their children when they give the reins to their children and essentially say, "Here, you drive".

Everyone wants the freedom of being in charge of their own life. No one wants to be controlled, on the contrary everyone wants the reassurance that they can do it. When freedom is given, it is out of love. When a person is given freedom that love is given back through appreciation.

Doing What I Want

I do what I want during the day. If I want to go on the computer, or read, or do something else, I do it. I'm not confined to a chair and at the mercy of others. I may move slowly, but at least I have the freedom to do what I choose. Sometimes all I want to do is watch TV, but I don't do it every day. Other times, I go outside to the car, go somewhere with friends, or look at pretty things on rides. When I think about what I can do, I feel grateful that I have the mobility to do things.

Sometimes I read on Facebook that someone feels sorry for themselves. I know that some people struggle with depression too. I think people get down because something isn't happening the way they want. I believe that if they counted their blessings and realized what they have (even if it's not quite what they want,) they would feel better.

Today, I thought I'm like a baby. I just eat, drink, and sleep. Maybe I see that thought when I look at the the surface. But when I look below the surface and evaluate it, I realize it's not true. I do many more things than a baby; I just think that thought because I don't do what I once could. I do things differently now but that doesn't mean I do nothing. I do what I can, and don't sweat the small stuff.

Addiction

We all need God's mercy - not just the addict. In a way we're all addicts. An addiction is something that is very hard (if not impossible) to quit. Some people are addicted to drugs, or cigarettes, or alcohol, or gambling, and it's easy to know a person does those things because we see them, but what about a person who has anger, or tells lies, or is encompassed by the desire to see pornography, or has a low self image, or is not able to wait?

Those unseen behaviors aren't considered addictions - we call them tendencies. Like "She tends to get mad," or "He tends to bend the truth," or "He tends to sit in secrecy and look at in appropriate things," or "She tends to be so hard on herself," or "He tends to be impatient."

We want to think we are better than the addict but we aren't. We may not smoke or drink, but we all have addictions to things that are hard or impossible to quit. When we get fed up with our behavior, we ask God to help us. He will if we sincerely want to quit. That's the problem, we want to quit but we don't.

Truthfully, most people have become used to their addiction and don't know what will happen when they give it up. They need to trust that their life will be okay and that they'll be able to live without it. Rationally speaking, they're not gonna curl up in a ball and die when they give it up. They need to believe that bad behavior will be replaced with good behavior. They need to know that they're strong and can handle more than they thought.

I hope they won't be like Smeagol in The Lord of the Rings who confronted Golum (his schitzophrenia.) Smeagol said "leave now and never come back" but when Golum left, Smeagol wanted him to come back. Smeagol wanted to have his friend even though Golum brought him down. Golum had been a part of Smeagol's life for so long and he didn't really want to give him up (even though it seemed nice.)

Once I heard a person say "we keep a summer cottage in Babylon." I think the speaker meant that we give up our addictions, but not completely. We give up most of our addiction but then visit it in the summer. If we keep doing that, eventually the addiction will return and we will end up not only having a summer cottage but also a house where it lives all the time.

All we can do is be willing to give it up. I think some things can't be eliminated without God's help. It would be unfortunate to avoid giving something up because of not understanding how God does it. I don't know how He does it, but I know that He does. I know that when we sincerely want His help, He gives it. Perhaps He removes the desire, or gives us knowledge, or strengthens us to be able to endure the burden, or all of the above.