I Love Being Female

As I watched the most recent General Woman's meeting of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, these thoughts went through my mind:

- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints loves and honors women. Men hold the priesthood in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and women are revered. Families are central to Heavenly Fathers plan. Families that include a father and a mother, a man and a woman.

- Look at how many organizations in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are run by women including Relief Society, Young Women and Primary. The organizations in the church run by men are Sacrament Meeting, Sunday School, and Young Men. The organizations are run 50% by men and 50% by women. If the church catered to men, women wouldn't have any leadership roles. The church is fair to both women and men.

- I love relating to women. I love being a woman and being part of a group of faithful people. God shows me his love through the love of others. I enjoy feeling love.

Four Differences Between Men and Women

After a couple has been married for a while, they know each other well. They seem to think like each other and know each other's tastes and interests. Even though they are alike, they both have unique differences and qualities that the other doesn't have. Their differences complete each other. It would be a shame if they became so close that they lost their uniqueness; that they became like their opposite.

I went to a class once that pointed out the differences between men and women. The class suggested seeing life from the spouse's perspective. The teacher said that each person interpreted love differently, and that the way a person said, "I Love You" didn't necessarily say it to another person. The teacher said that people usually gave others what they liked, but the most effective gift was to give what the other person liked. The message of the class said, "Consider what the other person likes and give to them what they think says I love you."

I thought about the differences between men and women and came up with this:

1. Men are like the countryside and women are like the wind.

Women talk more than men. Women explain things in 10,000 words when it takes men 5,000 words to make their point. Most women like to keep busy, too whereas most men are quiet and still. 

2. Men are like the calm before the storm and women are like the storm. 

Each thing is important - if women were the calm, there would never be the storm.

3. Men are like lakes and women are like rivers. 

A lake holds the reserve of water and doesn't give the river too much or it overflows. A river takes what it has and keeps it moving. (Like the wind and the storm, each is necessary in what they do. If a woman became a lake there wouldn't be a river!)

4. Men are direct and women are roundabout.

Men get complimented for their clothes and they say, "Thanks!" whereas women say, "Thanks! I got it on sale at Macy's". Not only do women state their bargain but they say where they got it. Women want to tell others where they got a deal, men don't.

Some partners think, it would be better if they were like me. I beg to differ - it would be better if they were like them; a person possibly thinks that because they want their life to be easier. I think that if their spouse was just like them, they wouldn't like it. Spouses might not acknowledge it, they might even think the differences drive them crazy, but I believe that in one way or another they actually like them.

Let Girls Be Girls

I just watched a video saying that girls need more toys to inspire them to use their brains. It implied that from an early age girls are given toys that steer them away from engineering, mathematics, and science as only 1 in 10 girls go into those fields.

I believe this a feminist video that says, "Equality!" Girls don't need special toys to encourage them to use their brains. They can use their brains just as well with Barbies, My Little Ponies, and girl toys. There's nothing wrong with girl toys and pink. The video kind of said, "If you're a girl and not an engineer, mathematician, or scientist then you're stupid and don't use your brain."

Not all girls want to do those things, but almost all girls want to be girls. Why should girls do those things unless they want to do them? That video made me mad! Women's rights is now at the little girl level. Girls are not boys, they have gender and roles, and according to this video that's a bad thing.

Perhaps the video's maker doesn't intend to disrespect other girls; they probably just want to promote their toys to girls - and that's fine. But I think they can go about their promotion in a way that doesn't throw other girls under the bus. I'm not an engineer, a scientist, nor a mathematician but I have an analytical mind and certainly use my brain. 

Women's Rights is Really Feminism

The word 'feminism' is now 'women's rights'. Feminism was in the 70's, but women's rights is today. It's a ploy that at it's core says, "Women don't need men." Women CAN do a lot of things that men can, but men want to do it and I say, "Let them! Let men be men. Let them be knights in shining armor, chivalrous, and the one who fights evil and saves the princess." They are programmed to take the lead and, frankly, women need to let them.

Women need to lay down their pride of thinking they need to be first, and let men do it. Men are being treated so unfairly by women, when they both need each other. Neither is better than the other - men aren't better because they are stronger, and women aren't better because they have charm - they each have things about them that draw them to the other. But people aren't willing to put up with weaknesses, and the person they once loved becomes the person they now hate.

I think a lot of divorce happens because they pridefully and selfishly say, "I don't need you" instead of working out their problems. Working it out takes a lot of humility and cooperation. We can't control what other people do, but we can control how we are. I ask, "Are we loving or bitter? Do we allow ourselves to get more angry at unfairness or do we let it go and move on?" We all choose how we act. Let's realize the evil trick, so we don't get sucked into the lies, and move on with our lives.

We Do Important Things

I went to a women's conference yesterday. While the keynote speaker (The President of the Mormon KC Temple-President Hardy) spoke, I realized that most women thought poorly of themselves. President Hardy said that Heavenly Father loved us and he reminded us of our importance. His talk reminded me of the talk I heard President Uchtdorf give about the forget-me-not flower and how essentially he had said the same thing.

Women are nice. They are about feelings and friendship. They like people. Men can be nice but they aren't nurturing. They are brave and knights in shining armor. They are providers and tough. Men are supposed to protect women not dominate over them! Men and women each have individual qualities that make them great. They compliment each other but one isn't better than the other!

I think male domination is why feminism came about. Women didn't like being dominated by men and so not only did they want to be better than men but they wanted men to not exist. When they looked back at history, they didn't want to see how men had evolved but how men hadn't existed at all! 

I don't agree with the feminist thought that men are good-for-nothings! I believe that men and women have different roles; that one isn't better than the other; and that they need each other to truly be happy.

Some women in my church treat themselves like second-class citizens. I realized this one time when I sat in Relief Society and listened to a sister's words. She said her calling required her to tell people what to do. She thought a man needed to have that calling because she felt uncomfortable directing men. Some people in my church call men "the priesthood" instead of calling them men. True, men hold the priesthood but that power blesses both men and women. Men are no better than women because they have the priesthood any more than women are better than men because they can have babies.

Perhaps women would have good self-esteem if they valued what they do. Too many women shrug off the things they do because they come easy to them. They think of the things they do as no big deal because they do them without effort. I believe that just because a person can do something naturally doesn't mean it's not important. Everyone can't do what they can! Take a photographer, for example. Taking pictures seems easy to them. But, not everyone knows how to capture the right scenery in a photo. Not everyone knows how to frame things or how to take pictures just right. Look at me, I'm not a photographer. I don't know how a camera works or even how to hold a camera correctly. I don't know about lighting and the details that make picture taking an art. Basically, I take pictures to document history. But I have other talents that I do know details about.

Women are important. Who women are and what they do IS as important as who men are and what they do.

I Don't Believe in Feminism

Where I grew up, men and women had defined roles. In the 70's, my church taught that women had divine nurturing abilities and needed to be in the home raising children. Many people in my town had that opinion in the 80's. I felt guilty working back then but I had to work because I had responsibilities and I didn't have a husband who could earn the money needed to cover them.

Now that I no longer work, I look back and wonder why my church said women needed to stay home. The feminist movement had a lot of influence back then. In the 70's, a lot of women left their homes and took jobs. Back then women talked of equality and equal pay for equal jobs. Women had the best of both worlds because they worked AND after they got pregnant and had their baby, some of them stayed home to raise their children.

I have an "I don't like it" opinion about feminism. I believe that the movement damaged my husband's chance to succeed in that his income got lowered because now more people work. I think that the workplace would be better off being a man's world. I believe that women have different attitudes than men and that women complicate environments where both men and women work. Men know how to do business with other men. Men know how men think. Women can be catty but men can be crushing. Men know how to deal with crushing blows, but when a woman gets crushed she retaliates. Men let things go whereas women hold on to things (and it takes longer for them to let go if they ever do.)

I believe that women should do what they do best. Some men want to take care of women. They want to be the breadwinner, but some women have an I can do it myself attitude, and want to have the best of both worlds. Some women want to work as well as be mothers and they want to do it right now! (Imagine a little girl with a straight armed fist stomping her foot.) That woman's attitude has caused her children to think that all women are like her; that all young women need to be like her; and that women are better than men. (Where's the equality in "better than"?)

Some of my friends are thinking right now I can't believe you're saying this because I have to work. Other friends are thinking right now I can't believe you're saying this because I want work. I'm not saying to women, don't work, I'm saying do what you do best (which is, if you're young, to raise children and be a woman, or, if you're older, to do what you love and be a woman.)

To women I say, be women; embrace your womanhood and don't try to be men.