Feeling Really Bothered, But Expressing Something Else

My Experience
I had this experience and wanted to share it because it truly makes a difference when I think before reacting rather than just reacting:

If every time I talk to someone and they put up a brick wall, I can either make a change or not and go crazy. RATIONAL MIND: CHANGE IS HARD. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE THEIR ENTIRE LIVES, BUT THEY HAVE TIME TO CHANGE. ITS GOOD TO VOICE MY OPINION BUT ALWAYS STRIVE TO GIVE OTHERS MERCY. ALWAYS STRIVE TO LOVE.

 

Some people put up brick walls and don't listen to me because they only listen to themselves. GIVE MERCY, GRACE, AND LOVE. LOVE THEM THE WAY THEY ARE WITHOUT EXPECTING THEM TO CHANGE.

 

I'm done talking to a brick wall that won't change. I'd rather be poor and happy than comfortable and lonely. IS THAT TRUE? AM I *REALLY* WILLING TO BE DIFFERENT OR AM I JUST SAYING THAT 'CUZ IM MAD?

 

It's a shame to not be friends but everyone's actions determine their choices. IT'S TRUE THAT EVERYONE CHOOSES. ITS ALSO TRUE THAT PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE CAN CHANGE THEIR MINDS.

 

I don't expect perfection, but I do expect respect. TO HAVE RESPECT I NEED TO GIVE RESPECT.

 

I won't be a doormat that faces a brick wall when they don't want to hear me. THAT'S CONDITIONAL - 'I'LL ONLY GIVE YOU MY LOVE IF YOU DESERVE IT'.

 

I have an opinion and it deserves to be heard. YES, THIS IS TRUE, AND IT WOULD BE HEARD IN A PERFECT WORLD...HOWEVER, I LIVE IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD AND DONT ALWAYS GET WHAT I DESERVE.

My Thoughts
Reacting is based on my words in lowercase. Acting after thinking is based on all my words. What a difference I see between the two. In this experience, I reacted then later apologized after I thought about it. I wish I wouldn't react but I'm working on my gut reactions and have hope that I can change. I know that I do things that bother people, too. I just hope they will be kind and forgiving and choose to see the best in me and not the worst.

This experience has taught me to give people a chance, to know that people aren't robots - sometimes they make me upset but I choose how to respond, and to know people are trying - they don't want to make me mad, they're my friend.

I want to be kind and loving and am working on being that way. I might not be kind and loving all the time but I'm willing to improve and want to change my ways. I'm not perfect, but I have hope that one day I will be.

 

Where's the Mercy?

Our router stopped working on Monday, which meant that everything that used the internet didn't work; in our case that meant all the computers (including my iPad), and the TV. Per called ATandT and told them what had happened. The person he spoke with said they'd send someone out on Tuesday. He told them that he worked from home and that he needed their help that day (Monday) because he couldn't do his work. He told them that we paid a lot of money every month to have the internet and expected it to work or, if it didn't, to be fixed right away. The phone technician said they'd tell him a temporary fix and asked him to turn on the router. Per said that he was an electrical engineer so he wasn't a novice. He said that there was something wrong with the router and he wasn't going to turn it on and have a potential fire hazard in his house. 

During their conversation, Per discovered that the ATandT power adapter was bad when he swapped it with another one and the router started working. He told them what he had done, and asked them if they could send a technician over to simply drop off another power adapter. He said that he needed it on Monday because early on Tuesday morning he was going on a business trip and wouldn't be home to accept their package. ATandT said a technician would be over on Monday in a couple of hours, but no one from ATandT ever came. This morning (Tuesday) FedEx delivered a box containing a new power adapter. Per is gone.

No matter how big a company is, they can help if they choose to. Their action of sending a box to be delivered on Tuesday said, "Do it my way. Fall in line and accept the way I do things." They weren't thinking about us, they thought about them and expected us to accept their method. 

I have thought about this situation, and no matter how selfish someone else is, I can choose to be merciful and forgiving. Even when dealing with a company, I choose how I am. My first inclination may be to get angry and say hurtful words, but what does that say about me? It say's that I have meanness in my character. Unfair things happen all the time, and how I react to them says something about me. I want to be loving. That means to be loving even when someone else isn't. I forgive ATandT and don't think badly about them, even if they didn't help us yesterday. I don't say this for people to be mad at ATandT but for them to look in their hearts and honestly consider how they are regarding mercy and forgiveness.

The Successful and the Freeloaders

I heard a Jewish Rabbi (who is very familiar with the Talmud) say that only 20% of the Israelite's left Egypt and followed Moses. The Hebrew Bible says 1/5 of the children of Israel left Egypt. Perhaps the many who stayed said things like, "It's not so bad to be a slave," or "I like Egypt and I'm not leaving," or "My family is staying and I won't leave them." Whatever they might have said the point is that they chose to follow Pharaoh not God.

The percentage seems consistent with the many and the few. Regarding the straight and narrow path, few there be that find it. Regarding the broad path, many there go thereat. Freeloaders say they don't have the same chances as the successful. Wrong! All people have the same chance, but freeloaders choose not to do what it takes to become successful. 

Successful people plan for their future. Freeloaders don't plan - they don't see their future past right now. This truth reminds me of the story about the ants and the grasshopper:

In the summer, the ants gathered food so they'd have something to eat in the winter. The grasshopper just enjoyed the sunshine. In the winter, the ants partied in their warm house and ate their food. Meanwhile, the grasshopper froze outside. He noticed the ants inside all warm and toasty and full of food, so he knocked on their door and asked if he could join them. The ants said yes and gave him shelter and food, whereby the grasshopper did a jig.

Freeloaders have existed since at least the time of Moses, possibly forever, why should anything different be expected today? Successful people will continue to plan and freeloaders will continue to complain that life isn't fair. Successful people will continue to show mercy to freeloaders and each person's actions will say how they are.

Life's Not Fair But I Don't Need to Focus on That Fact

Yesterday, at the movie theater, a worker discriminated against me. I think handicapped people are sometimes treated unfairly and I've experienced it several times. Some people are nice; when they see a person walking with a cane or sitting in a wheelchair, they smile at them and are helpful. But some companies don't train their employees (enough or at all) on how to treat handicapped people.

My first inclination told me to post on my blog that AMC discriminates against handicapped people. I wanted to say it because I wanted their company to change. I thought about the consequences of the situation and decided to stay out of the discrimination fight for many reasons. First and foremost, I want to say inspiring things. Life's unfair, and although justified, the discrimination situation is bigger than me and would cause me to become a negative person. I have valid points, but making them just proves I'm right. (I want to be improved not justified.)

Life is full of unfairness and it stings when it touches me. I could retaliate or work at becoming the best me possible. My perception comes down to my focus. I know that life is unfair and includes discrimination, and knowing it and yet choosing not to give it my focus makes me improved. It hurts when I experience unfairness, but when I show mercy (don't stick it to them) my character grows.

I don't automatically think mercifully, but choose mercy after thinking. I'm glad I learned to think before acting because I know I would regret my first inclination.

A Loving Heart

The only way to have a loving heart is to realize that God will make things fair in the end. (This has nothing to do with the election but the unfairness of life.) This is an imperfect world and some people have bad behavior. Not thinking God will make it right causes bitterness and grudges when people are wronged. (In the end, the people who hurt us keep living their lives and the only people who get hurt are us - if we're bitter and hold grudges.) Being loving inspires others to also be loving. (How sad to inspire people to hate.) Letting things go and being merciful gives us freedom when we're affected by unfairness.

Show Kindness

Nobody's perfect and yet today's world expects perfection or a person gets smeared. Where's the forgiveness? Where's the mercy? Some lawyers tell people to get mad and not tolerate bad things, but when they do something wrong, they want mercy shown to them - don't they? I refuse to listen to people who tell me not to forgive; my lack of forgiveness will only make me bitter and angry.

I want to be someone who shocks people with my kindness. I like to do nice things for people and not only see happiness on their face but feel good inside. It's hard to forgive people who don't deserve it: especially when I feel mad and think it isn't fair! But when I let it go, it's over and can't fester within me. I don't want to be a part of the status quo of people who don't forgive. I choose to be nice because that's how I am.

Addiction

We all need God's mercy - not just the addict. In a way we're all addicts. An addiction is something that is very hard (if not impossible) to quit. Some people are addicted to drugs, or cigarettes, or alcohol, or gambling, and it's easy to know a person does those things because we see them, but what about a person who has anger, or tells lies, or is encompassed by the desire to see pornography, or has a low self image, or is not able to wait?

Those unseen behaviors aren't considered addictions - we call them tendencies. Like "She tends to get mad," or "He tends to bend the truth," or "He tends to sit in secrecy and look at in appropriate things," or "She tends to be so hard on herself," or "He tends to be impatient."

We want to think we are better than the addict but we aren't. We may not smoke or drink, but we all have addictions to things that are hard or impossible to quit. When we get fed up with our behavior, we ask God to help us. He will if we sincerely want to quit. That's the problem, we want to quit but we don't.

Truthfully, most people have become used to their addiction and don't know what will happen when they give it up. They need to trust that their life will be okay and that they'll be able to live without it. Rationally speaking, they're not gonna curl up in a ball and die when they give it up. They need to believe that bad behavior will be replaced with good behavior. They need to know that they're strong and can handle more than they thought.

I hope they won't be like Smeagol in The Lord of the Rings who confronted Golum (his schitzophrenia.) Smeagol said "leave now and never come back" but when Golum left, Smeagol wanted him to come back. Smeagol wanted to have his friend even though Golum brought him down. Golum had been a part of Smeagol's life for so long and he didn't really want to give him up (even though it seemed nice.)

Once I heard a person say "we keep a summer cottage in Babylon." I think the speaker meant that we give up our addictions, but not completely. We give up most of our addiction but then visit it in the summer. If we keep doing that, eventually the addiction will return and we will end up not only having a summer cottage but also a house where it lives all the time.

All we can do is be willing to give it up. I think some things can't be eliminated without God's help. It would be unfortunate to avoid giving something up because of not understanding how God does it. I don't know how He does it, but I know that He does. I know that when we sincerely want His help, He gives it. Perhaps He removes the desire, or gives us knowledge, or strengthens us to be able to endure the burden, or all of the above.