Yesterday, while Per prepared food for the Superbowl, I saw a commercial for PBA (Pseudobulbar Affect.) It's a neurological disorder that occurs in some people who've had brain trauma, a stroke or who have MS, ALS, Parkinson's, or Alzheimer's. (Click here or here to read more about it.) It's a disorder that includes uncontrollable laughing and/or crying. It comes on suddenly, lasts for only a few seconds, and may happen several times a day.
When Per saw the commercial he said, "I think you have that. I think you have Pro Bowler's Association. If you told someone you had PBA, they might say I didn't know you bowled." Hahahaha - that's funny! Let me laugh about that for a while.
Yes, I have PBA and it has greatly affected my life. When I first got MS, I used to say that I had no filter. I meant that I couldn't control my emotions. For example, two years ago on the airplane a little girl started crying and it made me cry.
I used to teach children but asked to be released because when I read a touching story it made me tear up - not like touching tears but I-feel-out-of-control tears. (I imagine that older kids and adults would understand my condition, but little children would probably wonder why I'm crying and I wouldn't want to scare them.)
I used to teach children but asked to be released because when I read a touching story it made me tear up - not like touching tears but I-feel-out-of-control tears. (I imagine that older kids and adults would understand my condition, but little children would probably wonder why I'm crying and I wouldn't want to scare them.)
Today, I feel people's emotions when I look in their eyes. I laugh when I see a smile or see or hear something funny, and I cry when I see or hear the same. This disorder causes people to become anti-social because they feel embarrassed. Thank goodness I use writing to express my feelings, because if I couldn't express myself and I constantly felt embarrassed because of my disorder I'd surely feel depressed.
The fact that I have this disorder is not going to stop me from doing what I want. I'm like water. If water is dammed and a crack is in the dam, it will escape. If I get dammed, I'll find another way to get what I want. I'm not going to say, "Oh well, I got stopped. I guess I'll go back." No, nothing will stand in the way of me and my goal. I relate to this quote: "Resolve says, "I will." The man says, "I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying."
The fact that I have this disorder is not going to stop me from doing what I want. I'm like water. If water is dammed and a crack is in the dam, it will escape. If I get dammed, I'll find another way to get what I want. I'm not going to say, "Oh well, I got stopped. I guess I'll go back." No, nothing will stand in the way of me and my goal. I relate to this quote: "Resolve says, "I will." The man says, "I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying."
I love two things in my life; 1) my family and 2) helping people. I will continue to do what I can even though I have MS and a disorder. Knowing I have yet another set back causes me to focus on what I can do.
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