Living in the Past is Fantasy

Returning home was not the same once I left; I wasn't the same person. (I'm talking about when I was 18.) I had my own life. I stopped being my mother's child to be myself. When I got married I also became my husband's wife. When I had children I became their mom.

I will always be my mom and dad's child, but I've grown up and have my own life now. I faced a dilemma the last time my mom came to visit me. I reverted to being my mom's daughter (the past) because I didn't have the courage to be myself (the present). After my mom left, my family felt confused because I didn't act like me. When they told me how they felt I faced a crossroad: Would I revert to the past? (and confuse my family) or be the current me? (and let the past be in the past). I chose the second one - to be the current me, a grown woman, a wife, and a mother.

Same with childhood friends. As a young girl, I had a best friend. She will be my friend forever, but after we grew up we got different lives. What we had was special, and I'll always remember it, but my current life is special, too. It's fun to rehash old times with her, but honestly old times are just that - old times, memories, not today.

It's not my job to make people see me as I currently am. They are responsible for themselves. All I can do is be who I am today and live my life in the present moment.