Sometimes I say "We", "You" and "They" when I really mean "I" and "Me." I want
to be helpful but my words push people away...because they sound like lectures.
I don't mean to sound annoying, self-righteous, perfect and judgmental but I do
when I don't speak about myself. (I don't mean to sound 'preachy' but it's how I
sound when I talk about anyone other than me.)
Sometimes lecturing is good (like when parents teach their young children, or when work leaders teach their employees), but my good intentions turn bad when unfairly I tell other people what to do. No one likes to see someone make a mistake or have a trial, but unless they're my young child I need to not lecture, turn my head, have faith in them, and hope for the best. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. Sometimes I learn the most when making the 'wrong' choice, and when I hear a person talk about themselves it inspires me to make a better choice.
(I have something to say about the word 'wrong.' The word 'wrong' is relative; what someone thinks is wrong someone else thinks is right. I think that focusing on someone's 'right' and 'wrong' choices distracts me from loving and having faith in them. Mother Theresa said that when you judge people you have no time to love them; that is so true! When I'm tempted to judge I need to not do it, let go of my control, tell myself, "It is what it is" and instead choose to love.)
I can hear moms saying to their young children, "We use our quiet voice in the house and save our loud voice for outside." I can hear dads telling their young families, "We don't do that in our family because we're the Joneses." I can hear managers saying to their employees, "At ABC Company we do this because that's who we are." None of those things sound 'preachy' because they're teaching and it's expected. But if that's not my situation no wants a lecturer but a friend.
Sometimes lecturing is good (like when parents teach their young children, or when work leaders teach their employees), but my good intentions turn bad when unfairly I tell other people what to do. No one likes to see someone make a mistake or have a trial, but unless they're my young child I need to not lecture, turn my head, have faith in them, and hope for the best. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. Sometimes I learn the most when making the 'wrong' choice, and when I hear a person talk about themselves it inspires me to make a better choice.
(I have something to say about the word 'wrong.' The word 'wrong' is relative; what someone thinks is wrong someone else thinks is right. I think that focusing on someone's 'right' and 'wrong' choices distracts me from loving and having faith in them. Mother Theresa said that when you judge people you have no time to love them; that is so true! When I'm tempted to judge I need to not do it, let go of my control, tell myself, "It is what it is" and instead choose to love.)
I can hear moms saying to their young children, "We use our quiet voice in the house and save our loud voice for outside." I can hear dads telling their young families, "We don't do that in our family because we're the Joneses." I can hear managers saying to their employees, "At ABC Company we do this because that's who we are." None of those things sound 'preachy' because they're teaching and it's expected. But if that's not my situation no wants a lecturer but a friend.
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