Loving People

It's easy to love people who are nice but not so easy to love people who are mean. People's imperfections hurt when they affect me. Whatever people do gives me the opportunity to be how I want to be... loving. Having the knowledge that people might hurt me gives me the freedom to choose to be loving, kind, and merciful; all the things I want God to be toward me. Loving someone stops me from judging them. I think judging is the thing people do most. Jesus told us to do one thing and one thing only...to love people; he said that by doing this we showed our love to Him. I will add another attribute to the things I want in my character; namely mercy. I want to be loving, patient, kind, and merciful. (Really, I could just say loving because it encompasses the other three attributes, but specifically, I'll say that I want to have the other three attributes too.)

I used to have more judgmental thinking, and thought people needed to be a certain way. I am not that way today, and believe that people can be who they are. Recently, I told my son that I wanted my mom to come here. He mentioned that it sounded hypocritical because the things I had said about her for the past two years didn't match that I wanted her to visit me. I see his point. I had spoken badly of my mom and had felt mad about injustices in my youth. (Now, I look at those experiences and realize they are in the past.) Every kid experiences wrongs, because no parent is perfect. I had always thought of my childhood as happy, but when I wrote my book in 2011 it caused me to consider my childhood again. I looked at my childhood with adult eyes and saw a different perspective.

I held a grudge against my mom because I wouldn't have done some of the things she did; I judged her. Not only did I not like her, but I told other people (Per, Bryan and Andrew) about my childhood injustices and they didn't like her. I caused my family to judge her based on what I said. Today, in 2013, I want to let go of the grudge I've had in my heart for two years. I called my mom, we talked, and I told her how I felt. We resolved all the bad feelings we had. I love my mom, she's a good person; she parented the best way she knew. (Forgiveness has allowed me to see good things about her.) She's not perfect and neither am I. I will try my best not to judge her, so I can love her instead.

The scenario about my mom seems to relate to the story in the Book of Mormon about the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's; that they laid down their weapons of war for peace. If I relate the story of the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's to myself, I say, "I laid down my anger toward my mom to love her instead." Jesus said, "Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of these[,] my brethren, ye do it unto me." (Matt 25:40) I added the comma after the word "these" because I consider myself one of Jesus' brethren when I show mercy to someone. I want to show Jesus that I love him, and the way I do that is by loving people.

Don't Condemn

Love isn't condemning. When the sinner was brought before Jesus, he said "neither do I accuse thee." What love!

As I have gained more knowledge, I have felt less of a need to condemn the people who did me wrong. At some point we all do wrong. No one is perfect. Therefore, no one should be condemned. I'm thankful that HF doesn't condemn me. (Goodness knows that I do plenty of things wrong!) He just continues to love me.

I just realized that condemning is judging! Yet another thing I need to improve upon! Realizing my behavior is the first step to recovery, right?! Now that I realize I have this weakness, I can pray to HF and ask him to help me overcome it. I don't want to condemn people. My actions are a reflection of me. I want the things I do to reflect love, patience, and kindness.

Everyone has Beliefs

If you believe something, it's impossible not to make a judgement.

However, Judgement and Judging are two different things. Judgement can be either positive or negative but Judging is only negative. When we make Good Judgements we are our higher self, we take the high road and are doing what's right. Making Good Judgements include being patient, kind, loving, etc. Judging includes thinking you're better than someone or you're more superior, etc.

It's okay to have an opinion about something but it's not okay to think negatively about someone. If you say "I don't believe in homosexuality" that's okay because you have a right to your oppinion but some might say "you're a homophobe" which isn't necessarily true. Just because you said you don't like homosexuality doesn't mean you don't like homosexual people. You said you didn't like the thing you didn't say you didn't like the person. Maybe youre are loving and accepting which are great qualities to have. Don't fall into the trap or be intimidated into thinking you're judging when you're not.

In this day and age people are afraid to say what they believe because someone will say "you're this or you're that". But what they say may not be true. Maybe you do judge people, but I believe we can always be our higher selves and learn to love people. Don't be afraid of what people say. Know where you stand and be willing to defend it. Most people don't know why they have the beliefs they do which can make them judgemental. It's okay to ask "do I believe that?" because when you know what you believe you can defend it. You're not questioning whether or not it's true, you're questioning whether or not you believe it. Sometimes the answer is Yes!

When someone says "you're this or that" they're judging. Maybe they should pull the beam out of their eye instead of trying to pull the mote out of yours. Maybe they should focus on their own faults and leave yours alone.

I'm not always my higher self and when I judge people I'm usually wrong. I'm trying to be loving and kind and that's all we can do is 'try' because we aren't perfect and can't 'be' all the time. People just want to be loved and accepted no matter what they do. We have a choice, either we can make good judgments and inspire people to be their higher selves, or we can judge which doesn't inspire anyone. Judging drags you down, it makes you untrusting and critical. Having Good Judgement is freeing. It allows you to be 'good' and you are good!