Progressing Toward My Goal

This is me last Sunday (May 2014):

This is me one year ago (July 2013, in Sweden):

This is me two years ago (April 2012, at Bryan's wedding):

Wow! What a difference I see in my face! I've been trying very much to reach a weight goal for my vacation next year and these pics are motivation to keep going. They tell me 1) I AM making a difference, 2) I look better already, 3) God IS helping me. I had an impression months ago that if I did all I could, He would help me. I'm serious about reaching my goal and haven't given up after five months. In these pictures I see that He HAS helped me and it gives me encouragement to reach my goal.

I'm not losing weight because I am unhappy with myself but because I want to do it. I truly believe that God helps me after all I can do. He wants to know that I'm serious, so He doesn't help me immediately. The word 'after' sticks out in my mind. In January 2013 I gave up beef and believe that after I changed my diet He blessed me with more energy. In March 2014 I gave up turning to food and doing emotional eating and after committing in my heart to change I believe He blessed me.

I make the scriptures personal to me by adding my name after the word 'you'. This scripture stands out to me: "I will go before your face [Jade Lovgren]. I will be on your right hand and on your left, ... and my angels round about you, to bear you up" (D&C 84:88) I interpret this to mean "I will be with you and help you and my angels will be with you and help you to bear your burdens." I see this is true in the pictures above. Who knows how many times the angels have whispered in my ear to make good choices. I'm grateful for the assistance I see so far and know that God and the angels will continue to help me.

He Knows

For whatever reason, I felt impressed to share my notes of this talk. It was given at the April 2014 General Conference by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Here are my notes:

JEAN A. STEVENS - Primary General Presidency, 1st Counselor
(Great talk)
-Father in Heaven reaches out to [me] with His divine love; [I] reach back to him with [my] faith.
-God hears and answers [my] prayers. He watches over [me]. [I'm] not alone.
-God knows [me] and hears the pleadings of [my] heart.
-God accomplishes miracles one prayer at a time, one person at a time.
-God helps [me], not necessarily in the way [I] want but in the way that will help [me] to grow.
-Many people have put their trust in the Lord. (e.g. David escaped death by Goliath, Nephi escaped potential death from his brothers, Joseph Smith escaped the powers of darkness and received miraculous answers. Each person did so by relying on the Lord.)
-Some people who have trials, do all they can do and put their faith in God.
-Some people say, "I would never ask for this trial but I would never wish not to feel God's love."
-"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." (Isaiah 41:10)

I believe her words. I have reached out to God many times and know that He hears me and gives me peace. Sometimes all I can think of is to turn to Him and know that He will make it right.

It's Never Too Late

The song "Desperado" says this, "you'd better let somebody love you before it's too late". That song runs through my head this morning as does this thought, it's never too late. At one time I thought, I'm too old - too deep into it - to change. That's not true - the truth is that I needed to have a willing heart and to trust that God would do the rest. I did - I chose and trusted, and He did - He changed me.

God is good. He is my loving Heavenly Father and He wants to help me. It felt hard to trust (because I didn't want to be tricked) but I considered His perfection and that He wouldn't fool me. I kept in mind that He knew best and that He had my best interest in mind, so I trusted Him. He put things in my path that made my life better (music albums, people, books, thoughts) and eventually He changed my life.

I didn't used to refer to God so much. I guess I refer to Him because I want to acknowledge the truth. The truth is that He cares. Even when facing something hard I see that perhaps I face it to receive strength, or to be taught. I love how He does that for me. It may be too late according to someone, but it's never too late according to God.

God Cares

I sat in the yellow chair in my kitchen, feeling very sad and crying to my husband about the unfairness of something. All I could think to do was to pray to God in my mind and tell Him about all the things I didn't understand. My husband left the room, and I continued to feel sad. My thoughts took over and I didn't stay aware as I reflected. I don't know when the shift occurred, but I became aware that I was thinking of what I loved about God. To me, the miracle is that my attitude shifted and instead I felt happy.

Here are some of the things I thought about when I became aware: I love how God sees my potential. I love how He encourages me (often through others). I love how He gives me the courage to do what I consider impossible. I love how He forgives me every time I ask for forgiveness. I love how He cares about me. I love how He wants good for me.

God's Communication

I've been told that there are things a person should never talk about; namely, 'income, political persuasion, and religion.' I think that's true IF a person thinks their beliefs are better than another person's. I talk about what I believe because 1) I know that people respect what I say even if they don't agree, and 2) I don't think my beliefs are better than anyone else's; everyone has the right to believe what they do. I say what I believe and know a person may disagree; I also know that at least they know my opinion.

Talking about God is a volatile subject because many people believe differently. I don't intend for anyone to change their beliefs based on what I say. I only want to say what I believe. I think that God is loving, but many people don't. They think of him as condemning, punishing, and judgmental. Some people think he doesn't exist. Some people don't care whether or not he exists - all they know is that they rely on themselves, not Him. Some people believe that anyone who believes in God is weak-minded. People are free to believe whatever they want. Here's what I believe:

God is real and He's a person. He's a perfect, glorious, being, and the kind of person I strive to one day become. He is called Heavenly Father because He's the father of my spirit. Part of me is divine, godly, and beautiful. When I think of myself as stupid, ugly, dumb, and the many other negative attributes I may say I am, I remember to tell myself the truth: that I'm smart, beautiful, divine, and can rise above those negative things. I tell myself that the negative attributes are lies that hold me down and make me not believe who I really am.

I'm in awe when I consider that God created this planet, all the things on it, this vast universe, and that He cares about me. I am so small compared to the many things He created and yet He created those things for me; for my happiness. I am His greatest creation and He wants me to be happy. He cares about me as much as (probably more than) I care about my children. The love I have in my heart for my kids is the way he feels about me. He wants me to succeed and to realize that everything I experience is for my good. 

God communicates with me in several ways. He inspires me to think something good and I take the thought and run with it. He whispers peace to my soul and comforts me when I'm sad; I've felt his presence many times and it feels like a hug and that my heart will explode with happiness. I believe He comes to me whenever I need him, like a father would go to his daughter just to say, "It'll be okay." Sometimes I feel something good when I hear a song, or read a book, or watch a movie, or talk to a friend, and know it's God talking to me through them and telling me what He wants me to know.

God is good and is in my life more than I think. He encourages me and never stops, even when I don't think about Him. He's blessed me many times in my life when I didn't do anything. I know He loves me. My earthly dad may not have been in my life but my heavenly dad is. Knowing that He loves me gives me great self-esteem when I think of who I am; when I consider the truth.

Guides for Living Right

People like guides; they like direction so they know they're doing it right. Unfortunately, life has no instruction manual. No document exists that tells us how to be a kid, an adult, a sibling, a spouse, a parent, or the thousand other things we are. Same with the way to be. No manual tells us how to be kind, loving, patient, virtuous, unselfish, obedient, and the thousand other ways we strive to become. Or does it?

It's no secret to anyone that I believe in a higher power. I'm thankful to have a guide in the scriptures as to how to be a good person, but that guidance won't just magically appear in my mind, it's up to me to read it; even more so, it's up to me to understand it. The scriptures are written in a way that sounds like garble-dee-gook to some people. But I believe that if a person truly wants to know what the scriptures say, it will make sense to them.

When I mention Jesus, God, or religion, some people immediately get turned off. Some people have memories of condemnation, or think that's bull-honkey, or confirm in their minds that they don't believe it. When I think of Jesus, God, or religion, I think of love, goodness, and teaching. Whatever people think about Jesus, God, or religion, is up to them. I won't judge them for their beliefs and I hope they won't judge me for mine. I like people and separate what they do from who they are. I hope my friends will give me the same courtesy and not judge me for the religion in which I believe. They can judge my religion for it's beliefs, or me for the kind of person I am (I hope they will be merciful and realize I'm not perfect,) but it's not right to judge me for what I do. 

Anyway, I'm thankful to have a religion that teaches me how to become the best person possible. My gratitude is even more present when I think about all the good people who've taught my children and blessed their lives. I think about how we do have guides to teach us how to live and be happy. One guide that I love is directed at the youth, but I believe it applies to all of us. Click here to read it. Click here to read the scriptures.

I feel gratitude and have a thankful heart knowing that guides for living right DO exist.

I Feel Grateful

"...for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."  Ether 12:6

This scripture is so true. I felt angry (hurt) but read a book that helped me to have understanding. I wondered why people didn't care but when I went to church today more than one person said they loved me. I received a new VT companion and think we'll work well together. My new visiting teacher just visited me and left me feeling good.

God is blessing me with His tender mercy to let me know that He cares. 

I could have been angry back at the people who hurt me but who would that have affected? Me. Instead, I went to church, read a helpful book, and continued to have faith. Today God pours out blessings on me more than I can receive.

I think of the above scripture and the word that stands out is AFTER. He didn't bless me before I showed my faith and character. I showed Him how I wanted to be even when I'd been hurt. I didn't shrivel when faced with adversity (like the seeds on the rocks did when the sun beat down on them in the parable of the sower.) I complained and lamented but didn't let it defeat me. I was given the choice of how to react and chose to take the high road. As a result God blessed me.

I feel so grateful to know that He lives. He knows my heart and loves me.

I love the saying "when the student is ready the teacher appears." I have had this happen many times in my life. I'm like the pioneer who thinks about just taking one more step. Always striving for more and reaching a little higher. The pioneer's attitude inspires me and tells me "if I can do it then you can."

My gratitude doesn't express how I feel.

We Are All Pumpkins

We are all pumpkins. God lifts us up, takes us in, and washes all the dirt off of us. He opens us up, touches us deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves us a new smiling face and puts His light inside us to shine for the entire world to see.