Giving Up What's Holding Me Back

What I gave up
I thought my main addiction was something else, but it's not. My main addiction is food. Food is what stands between me and God. It's what I turn to for comfort, for peace, and for happiness. I asked God to help me lose weight but immediately had the impression that I didn't 'really' want to give it up; part of my heart was still attached to it. (I know He'll help me if I ask with all my heart, but that's where I feel stuck.)

I can hear Neal A. Maxwell saying, "We keep a summer cottage in Babylon." I can hear the father in Mark 9 saying, "Help thou my unbelief." It's a matter of trusting in God more than trusting in food. It's a matter of having faith that God will give me good things instead of having fear from thinking that bad things will happen.

How it held me back

He's already helped me in ways I can't explain. I need to remember His goodness and how He'll help me, and let go of something that will give me more of the same. I see myself carried in the air and wanting to rise, but holding on to something that keeps me down. If I'd just let go, I'd rise and experience happiness. It's like a person who went down with a sunken ship; they want to go to the top and get air but they're holding on to a dead body. They need to let go of the dead body, go to the surface, and save themselves.

For me, I need to trust God rather than trust food. Food has been my comfort, and my friend. It has brought me happiness and peace. But now it's time to let it go. God will replace all the things food gave to me. I'm not giving up my addiction to food to replace it with nothing. No! I'm giving it up to replace it with God. Giving it up is letting go of the past to have a new future. Everything in the future is new and the future is a place where I do it only because I choose.

Additional thoughts

This has been a huge learning experience for me.

The quote, "What you resist, persists" runs through my mind as I think about my 'diet' and what I couldn't have. I thought I'd have to give up certain foods, sacrifice, and that it would be hard. My 'sacrifice' became the elephant in the room that sat there EVERY DAY, and losing weight felt like a constant challenge.

Now that my focus has shifted I don't think it will be hard. I have absolute belief that I'll accomplish my goal and the great news is that it will be done while doing what I love...eating food! I look forward to this year as I slim down and reveal the 'real' me. This year will be fun, exciting, and the beginning of something new. My impression is that I'll still need to make wise choices, but that He'll help me.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? (Matthew 6:30) I need to trust Him to take care of me.

No More Beef

I knew five years ago that beef was hard on people with MS, but it took me four years to give it up. When I still ate beef I thought things like this:

• It's too hard. 
• I won't be able to stick to it. 
• I like beef too much to give it up. 
• What will I eat? 

Why didn't I think things like this?:

• I can do it. 
• I will stick to it and not quit. 
• I like other meat too, not eating beef will be okay. 
• I will eat chicken, pork, turkey & fish, and my options are more than what I will give up.

I haven't eaten beef for over a year and I feel great! Here are some things I did:

• Not ground beef, but ground turkey.
• Not beef roast, but pork roast.
• Not beef ribs, but pork ribs.
• Not beef burger, but turkey burger.
• Not steak, but some other kind of meat.

I thought I'd miss beef, but I don't. My experience tells me that 1) It's better to look on the bright side, 2) It's not giving it up to nothing but giving it up to another choice.

Changes to My Diet in 2014

In 2013 I gave up red meat; I haven't eaten beef since December 2012. I'm not going back. I will continue not to eat beef in 2014 (and probably forever). In addition, I've decided to also make these changes:

-No carbonation

-No HFCS (high fructose corn syrup)

No carbonation is obvious - no soda pop. But I didn't realize how many products besides drinks have HFCS. Here are the foods I like that need substitution:

Stove Top Stuffing - Turkey

Thomas English Muffins

Most Kellogg's cereals

Most Lifesavers candy

Kellogg's Pop-tart's

Nabisco Ritz Crackers

Nabisco Wheat Thins

Cool Whip

Yoplait Yogurt

Nabisco Oreo Pie Crust

Any Oscar Meyer Lunchables that contain bread, breading, or cornmeal

I didn't mention a lot of products that have HFCS. The most important thing will be to check the labeled ingredients before deciding to buy.

Blueberry or Acai Berry

Per bought some cups of Greek yogurt at Sam's Club. The box contained two flavors: blueberry and superfruit (açai). If superfruit is based on flavor then I'd say it's  the blueberry because it isn't in the yogurt with anything else (açai is also with pomegranate and raspberry.) Perhaps açai doesn't taste good on its own (like the blueberry) and has to be paired with another flavor to make it palatable.

I just read about açai on Wikipedia and the açai berry comes from the açai palm. (The same tree from which hearts of palm are harvested.) The açai berry is mostly pit, which is ground into a pulp. (No wonder it doesn't taste good - we're eating pulp not berry!) Claims have been made about the fruit's antioxidant properties, but no claims have been scientifically proven. Studies have shown that açai has more potency than than cranberry, orange or apple, but not as much as pomegranate or blueberry. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia: 

The medical watchdog website Quackwatch noted that "açai juice has only middling levels of antioxidants - less than that of Concord grape, blueberry, and black cherry juices, but more than cranberry, orange and apple juices." The extent to which polyphenols as dietary antioxidants may promote health is unknown, as no credible evidence indicates any antioxidant role for polyphenols in vivo.

I think the açai berry is a fad. Many companies use it in false advertising. Based on what I just read, the blueberry is definitely still the superfruit.

Update to Following a Low-Fat Diet

I've been eating no red meat and low-fat foods for over five months now. In January I said it would probably take me a year to get used to this new way of eating. I think that it may take me a year to adjust in some ways but not in others. I am surprised at how quickly I got used to not eating red meat (beef, pork, and dark meat poultry) - maybe three weeks! I never missed eating red meat, but we had to remember to use ground turkey instead of ground beef. (We can't tell a difference between ground beef or turkey when the meat is in a sauce or covered with seasoning-for example spaghetti sauce, chili, taco soup, or taco meat.)

Ground turkey is actually quite good! It doesn't brown like beef, but if you make patties and coat them with bread crumbs (Panko bread crumbs taste good) the bread crumbs brown and the meat is moist. Per is a great cook and has made a lot of yummy things! Creativity is needed in cooking to avoid a rut.

I was worried about our Super Bowl snacks but we adjusted our menu to include low-fat yummy things and didn't miss the other things at all! (We didn't have a bacon explosion [sniff-sniff] but didn't mind not having the extra calories!) I didn't realize how poorly I ate until I started eating better. I've made different food choices starting in 2013 and physically have felt better - instead of tired or crappy - after eating.

My clothes are looser. I still wear the same size, but I truly think the changes in my diet have prevented me from gaining more weight. (I'm glad that I haven't had to buy a bigger size - I've worn the same size for over five years!) I truly think I was on a path to gain and my new diet stopped the direction.

The thing that is hardest to eat is low-fat. If I don't stay aware, the fat creeps back into my diet. I get lax about the foods I eat and what is the first thing that gets worse? Fat. I find myself eating fattening things - usually junk - and have to consciously tell myself to stop. Let's face it, fatty foods taste good! Let me face it, fatty foods stick to my body like glue! It's discouraging to know that I practically gain weight by looking at food! (Unfortunately for me) I don't have a high metabolism or a body that allows me to eat whatever I want without gaining an ounce. Luckily for me, I've had to watch what I eat my whole life so making a food change is not new to me. (It IS new to Per, however, because being a bean pole as a kid allowed him eat whatever he wanted without ever gaining a pound.) If I choose to eat a lot of fatty foods like butter, mayo, or sauce, I'll surely gain weight. I've eaten things then later wondered why I thought it was okay. Anyway, food seems to be my plight in life....but, I digress.

We eat a lot of ground turkey, chicken breast, and seafood. I haven't noticed a dramatic difference but I think the changes are subtle.

Following a Low-fat Diet

Starting in 2013 I decided not to eat red meat (beef and pork) and to take my health into my own hands. I wanted to go the natural way, not just take drugs approved by the FDA; drugs that (in my opinion) had stopped working. I wanted to do anything that helped me (that I considered morally right.) In December 2012 I bought a book by Roy Swank called The Multiple Sclerosis Diet Book. (Dr. Swank was a neurologist who studied the causes of MS beginning in the 1940's. He did a study that included over 2,000 people who ate a low-fat diet that improved their health so much that they barely had any MS related symptoms. That study lasted for 36 years but isn't mentioned by doctors because it never got FDA approved.) It's not a diet just for people with MS (even though the title says it is) but for anyone who wants to eat little fat. The book is written in a way that keeps people with MS in mind, looking up "Swank Diet" on the internet will probably be more beneficial for people without MS. I got off on a tangent from what I wanted to say. Back to my post...

I'm not sure what results I'll see when following this diet but I think I'll be healthier. My goal is not to lose weight but to feel better (but I won't argue if I lose weight!) It will probably take me an entire year to get used to this new way of eating. I'm going to have to adjust my current diet to include new recipes, and get used to eating a new way (since this is something I'll do for the rest of my life.) 

Per and I made "butter" the other day. It's called "spread" but it's really butter. (This diet says to eat hardly any animal fat and instead to eat most fat from oil.) The "butter" recipe includes buttermilk, nonfat dry milk and oil (to name a few ingredients) and looks like mayonnaise when blended. (We used vegetable oil but will also try other oils.) We used more salt than the recipe said because the mixture tasted kinda sweet (probably from the milk.) 

Last night, Per combined garlic and parsley with a bit of the spread and made garlic bread. He put a thin layer on the bottoms of the bread, and a thicker layer on the tops. It looked and smelled like garlic bread bought from the freezer section of the grocery store, but when he cooked it - the butter on top didn't completely melt. The breads looked like they had cheese on top. (I'm guessing the butter didn't melt because it wasn't completely butter.) But...it tasted great.

Per also made meatless spaghetti which tasted great too. It's gonna take a while for us to adjust to not eating beef and pork because we've gotten into the habit of eating those things a lot. It will be a challenge to find a substitute meat for the recipes we like, and a substitute for dairy products, but once we find what we like I think we won't miss the other things.

In 2008 I asked my doctor if I should follow a certain diet since I had MS. He said "no" and that no research had proved that a certain diet made MS better. I had a natural medicine book (The Prescription to Natural Healing) and looked up what it said about MS, but decided not to follow it because it seemed too radical. (It said not to eat red meat and to take a bunch of vitamins.)

In the four years since I've had MS, I've learned that doctors only recommend things approved by the FDA. When I asked my doctor if I should follow a certain diet since I had MS and he said what he did, he meant that NO RESEARCH HAD BEEN APPROVED BY THE FDA to prove that a certain diet made MS better. (My theory about doctors is that they truly want to help people. But doctors also don't want to say something for which they could get sued. It's a shame that when a doctor says something in this country and it doesn't work out - the person can sue them. I think doctors don't say the things they want to say because they don't want to get sued. It's my experience that doctors don't say things that "might" or "could" help people.)

Last year (2012) I wondered if I should follow my doctor (who tells things to do, based on a product being researched and approved by the FDA,) or follow the natural way (which tells things to do, even if a product is not approved by the FDA.) I felt that my doctor wasn't loyal to helping me do the best thing, but loyal to research and to the FDA. (Research will certainly continue, but according to researchers, I'm just someone with the MS disease, not a person. I could live my entire life without a "cure" being found, and that's not good enough for me because I'm alive; I have a life; I'm not a number.)

Many studies occur but aren't considered "proven" because they aren't approved by the FDA. I think the reason things don't get approved by the FDA is because of money. The FDA has requirements and if they aren't met, the thing (study) won't be approved. Big pharmaceutical companies can afford what the little guy can't so their drugs get approved while things that actually help people, don't get approved for many reasons. One of the reasons is that the FDA doesn't approve herbal remedies. The FDA only approves drugs (which have side affects.) If a person wants to take natural things into their body, they most likely won't be approved by the FDA.

In the late 1980's Herbalife got sued because distributors claimed their products "cured" things like cancer, heart disease, etc. Lawyers told Herbalife they couldn't use the word "cure" because although their things helped people, those people still had the diseases that might return when the people stopped taking their products. Natural health companies (like Herbalife) want to help people feel better. I believe that just because a product isn't approved by the FDA doesn't mean it's bad.

I'm getting off on a tangent again, back to the low fat diet...

Dr. Swank theorized that people with MS have a sensitivity to fat. There's no way to know who's sensitive to fat until a person gets sick, so the recommendation is for everyone to be thin and eat healthy foods so they don't get sick.

As I put the puzzle pieces together, I see that perhaps my dad also had a sensitivity to fat because he received a diagnosis for CIPD; a rare disease similar to MS. He loved food and he loved fat. (Whenever we had pork chops, he cut the fat from our (the kids) meat.) Now that I think about it, we are very similar (except for the meat :) I know I inherited some things from him, but if MS is one of them...I'll never know. All I can do is help myself. I think this diet may help me and it's something I'm willing to try.