We Need to Act

About a month ago I felt compelled to write a talk about afflictions and trials. I don't know why I wrote it other than because I felt the need. To make a long story short, I gave that talk in church on Sunday. (I truly feel I received inspiration to say the things I did.) I could have been a better speaker because I spoke too fast and didn't make eye contact. I know that, but didn't do them for a couple of reasons. First,  looking into people's eyes would have made me cry after feeling their emotions.  I can't contain my feelings, therefore I didn't look at them. Second, I spoke quickly because I know that my voice gets worn out when I speak, and to me it sounds worse.

When I step back and review this accomplishment, the important thing is not the words but that I spoke. I didn't let fear stop me from delivering the talk, but swallowed my pride and said things that hopefully touched another person. I put myself aside and gave the talk (even though I have limitations) because I hoped the words would reach someone.

After I'd been asked to speak in church, I kept thinking of the words "slow of speech."  I had read those words in the Bible where God told Moses to tell the Israelite's something and Moses said they wouldn't listen to him because he was slow of speech. I think God told Moses to speak, to test Moses' obedience. I believe God wanted to know that Moses would do what God told him. Moses could have made excuses, but instead he did as directed...and became a great leader.

I'm not comparing myself to Moses, but saying that it's important to be obedient when compelled to do something. We need to act not make excuses for why we don't. When we're obedient to promptings, God knows He can count on us. He uses us to convey messages that He wants people to hear. Perhaps the opportunity is lost when we don't act. I spoke even though I felt many insecurities. I hope that God knows he can count on me.

Here's the talk:

Afflictions and Trials

I’m Hawaiian and in the Hawaiian language there is the word ‘Ohana’ which means family. In families people express their love. I hope you will feel my love for you today and that the Holy Ghost will teach you (through my words) what you need to learn.

I have been sick for four years. Before that time, I could stand and walk and talk just like you.  I have MS and some of my symptoms have never gone away. I had a life before I got MS. I worked. I made dinner for my family almost every day. I cleaned my house. I exercised. I ran errands. I wrote in my journal. I played the piano. I sang and I served at church.

After I got sick, my life turned upside down. I became disabled. I had to quit my job. I couldn't cook, clean, exercise, or shop any more. I no longer had balance. My strength became weakness. I felt dizzy. My hands wouldn't hold things correctly. Writing became difficult. My hands shook whenever I attempted to play the piano; my fingers wouldn't stay on the keys of my favorite instrument; and, my playing became slow and included lots of mistakes. This has been a great learning experience for me. I always wanted to stay home and not work…but I didn’t mean and be sick too!

 Anyway, my illness is a blessing because now I get to talk to you about it. I can’t stand for very long (because then I get hot and feel like I want to cry) so I’m sitting while I talk to you, I hope you don’t mind. My voice has been affected by my illness. I haven’t always sounded like this, so I hope you can understand me.

Afflictions and trials aren’t the same thing. Most trials start out as afflictions but trials can be manmade, for example, when one doesn't learn a certain lesson so they experience the same trial again.

Sometimes people get afflictions to learn to live with them. When a person learns from their afflictions, they receive the benefit of being improved. We learn through the furnace of affliction. Isaiah records God saying: "Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." (Isaiah 48:10) We don’t learn from happiness but from sorrow. God doesn’t teach us when we feel happy – He rejoices with us! God teaches us when we feel sad.

Afflictions are a part of sanctification. Abraham recorded God saying: "And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." (Abraham 3:25) God wanted to know if we’d be obedient to his commandments. Essentially, He said: “Put your money where your mouth is.” He wanted to know if we’d keep his commandments even when afflicted. 

Afflictions are whatever the Lord determines we need to experience. A great prophet in the Book of Mormon said: "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been since the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19)

Joseph Smith suffered for months because bad people accused him of a crime he didn’t commit. He said that he’d seen God, and because of that and other things, bad men locked him up.

He sat in the Liberty Jail during one Missouri winter. (I’ve lived in Kansas for over 20 years and know how cold it gets in the winter on the plains. Joseph Smith received the revelation that I’m about to quote from at the end of March - it’s still pretty cold then. Plus no glass covered the windows of his cell. I’m sure it got pretty cold in his jail room.) Joseph received a very touching answer when he prayed to God to ask how long he and the saints had to suffer persecution before God intervened. God answered him with this: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thou art not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.” (D&C 121:7-10) Then God went on to say “…if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? (D&C 122:7-8)

(I cry because I consider that the things God said to Joseph He would also say to me. God’s words comfort me and I believe that everything I suffer will be for my good.)

God told Joseph comforting things  – the last thing is also a bit chastising. Joseph wanted to know how long he had to wait for God to intervene, and God reassured him. God also said in essence, I’ll intervene when it’s time, not when you want. He basically said: “Be patient.” Sometimes we need to patiently endure our afflictions until God determines our endurance is enough. I believe that Joseph would have been willing to have patience, but that he really wanted the assurance that God would intervene. I think the experience is in the scriptures to tell us to trust that God will do the same for us. Trust is a hard thing for us to have because we’ve been let down. The thing to remember is that we’re trusting in God not a in a human. God won’t let us down.

We know that Jesus suffered. It’s not as well known that he suffered throughout his life. Paul told the Hebrews: "Though he were a Son, yet he learned obedience by the things he suffered." (Hebrews 5:8) Jesus thought higher than everyone else and even though He had friends He basically went through His life alone because no one related to Him. In the Garden of Gethsemene He sweat great drops of blood. On Calvary He got stabbed, had nails driven through His hands and wrists, and got crucified on a cross. He willingly suffered for me and I love Him. I thank Him. He had no sins - He was a perfect person - and yet He paid a price for me with His life. His atonement saved me from my imperfections. He is my savior and I will praise his name forever. Jesus had many happy times, but He also suffered greatly.

We learn through suffering - probably because in suffering we’re humble. God wants us to be humble, not proud, so He can teach us. When I first got sick I kept thinking about the scripture about the natural man. At the time, I also thought of this story about a crab. (Please visualize the images as I tell you my story.) 

"I'm brave. I'm fine. I can handle my problems" said the little crab.

"I have a shell and I'm tough. Nothing can break me", it continued.

The wise old crab asked the little crab to take off its shell.

"If I take off my shell, I'll be weak. I could be crushed" said the little crab.

"Take off your shell" said the wise old crab.

"Trust me. I have a reason for asking you to do this", he said.

The little crab took off its shell.

It saw the wise old crab and felt deflated.

"I'm exposed. I'm vulnerable. I'm not pretty without my shell," said the little crab.

"I can't hide. Everyone can see me for who I really am, and I'm just a crab" it continued.

The wise old crab saw the little crab without its shell.

The little crab is beautiful, he thought.

Other crabs saw the little crab.

"It doesn't have a shell" they whispered and thought of him as brave.

"I took off my shell like you asked" said the little crab.

It frowned and said "Now I'm not pretty. Everyone can see my problems. I'm not tough and I don't feel happy."

"That doesn't matter" said the wise old crab.

"One day you'll feel happy. Here, take my shell." he said.

The little crab crawled in the wise old crab's bigger and stronger shell.

"This new shell is good" the little crab said as he crawled into the shell and it fit just right.

The little crab realized that he had outgrown his old shell.

He felt grateful that the wise old crab had seen something in him that he hadn't seen in himself.

The little crab had taken off his shell and received a bigger and stronger one.

The little crab felt happy.

After I thought of that story, I wondered how God could comfort or teach a person when they had their shell on. It occurred to me that God wanted His people to be exposed and vulnerable so He could come to them. In my story, the crab's shell represented pride – tough and hard to crack. In my own life, I had replaced my Savior by thinking I'm tough, I can handle my own problems. I didn’t have humble thinking - but didn't consider myself arrogant and prideful. God wanted to be with me, comfort me, and tell me how to solve my problems, but when I thought I could handle my problems on my own, I wouldn’t let him help me and faced them alone. 

Recently, I read a book where the author also talked about a crab. He said that a crab had to walk backward to move forward because its front claws were too heavy. He related going backward to us becoming like a child. He quoted King Benjamin when he said that to live with God again we had to become like children. King Benjamin didn’t mean that we had to be children but that we needed to be like children…to have child-like qualities. He listed a bunch of qualities and basically said we needed to be willing to learn…which is a child-like quality.

Children don’t have egos that can get hurt or offended. They honestly acknowledge what they don’t know, then do what it takes to find out. They are positive and optimistic. They make friends without judgment. They include people. They have fun and don’t stay down in the dumps. Those are some the qualities that King Benjamin meant that we needed to have in order to have eternal life. He basically said that we needed to develop Godly qualities in order to live with God.

When I got sick, I had served in this ward for two years as the Young Women's President. I felt spiritual and did things like listen to good music and read my scriptures. I refrained from things that would make the spirit leave because I liked feeling His presence. Sometimes, I had spiritual experiences that caused my heart to swell. I'd been taught to be self-reliant and take care of myself and my family and that's what I did. I cooked. I cleaned. I ran errands and I tended to my children's and my husband's needs.

One day, right after I got sick, I sat in my living room wondering how I would endure sitting there for one hour, let alone for the entire day. I had always kept myself busy and felt torture doing nothing. As I sat there, I could feel no warm feelings in my home. On the contrary, my home felt empty, and, in a way, cold. I thought I’d rather be at work.

In speaking about our personal lives, we just did the motions at my home. We acted like a happy family, but everyone did their own thing and we were slowly drifting apart. Today, I shudder to think what my family would be like if I hadn’t gotten sick. Isn’t it strange to hear me say that my family would be worse off, if I hadn’t gotten sick? Even though my illness caused us to suffer, I consider it a blessing in that we’re close.

I’ve cried many times when I’ve thought of my limitations, but then the Lord has taught me something that has resulted in me feeling grateful to him. Whatever I’ve wanted to know I’ve learned, and then the thing has taught to me. I think of the quote: “Leap, and the net will appear.” That’s quote speaks the truth. I’ve taken the leap of faith many times throughout my life. Sometimes the net has been a book, and sometimes it has been a song. Other times it has been something someone said, or something I’ve seen.

In all of those cases however, it has been up to me to learn. If the net appeared to teach me something, but I didn’t learn it because I didn’t want to listen or hear, then it would re-appear until I learned its lesson. That scenario reminds me of the scripture in the D&C that says: “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift?” (D&C 88:33)

What good does it do if we take a leap of faith but don’t learn from the experience? We won’t become a better person but will stay the same. Some people think well, I don’t want that lesson! They want to control their life instead of let the net be in control. They don’t get to determine the lesson – they only get to reap the reward or pay the consequence.

Another quote that I love is this: “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” I believe that God puts inspired teachers in our life to teach us something. Again, sometimes it’s a book, a song, a person, a scene, or many other things. We pray and ask God for help then, when He gives it, we say: “No! Not that!” and don’t accept it. We’d be better off to accept His help, trust Him, and remember that he knows what we need better than we do. Let’s remember and believe what He said to Joseph Smith and apply it to ourselves - He said the experience would be for our good.

I’m thankful that I got to tell you this and that I got to spend some time with you. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to have successful lives. Sometimes we are thick-skulled and won’t learn the things. He wants to teach us but if we won’t learn His lesson, we get to experience the thing again. If we experience something and don’t learn from it, it can become a trial in our life.

Let’s let Heavenly Father be in charge. Let’s trust him. We can spend our entire life focusing on things that don’t matter – things that build our pride – and ignore the things that do matter and that make us better people. Let’s be willing to learn what God wants to teach us. Sometimes we have to go backward to go forward. Remember the crab and that we need to be teachable and like a child in order to be taught. The only things we possess, that we can give to Heavenly Father, are our wills and our actions. Let’s take the leap of faith required to learn. And, let’s believe the lesson will help us become the person Heavenly Father knows we can be.

Not all the things we suffer are bad. Remember that our goal is to have eternal life. When we step back from the things we suffer and remember what we want, somehow the things we need to endure seem worth it. Sometimes all our faith needs in order to regain perspective is for us to step back, look at the big picture, and remember our goal. We want to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again. That’s a good goal to have. They also want to be in our lives right now. Jesus taught that he stands at the door of our heart and knocks. (Revelation 3:20) It’s up to us to let Him in. He won’t just open the door and walk in, we have to open the door and invite him in. Opening the door and inviting him in is taking a leap of faith to let God make our life better than we imagined.

Heavenly Father has made my life great as I've put my trust in Him. He's turned my sorrows into joys. My life may not be what I imagined, but like Nephi, I know in whom I put my trust. The Book of Mormon is the word of God. Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today. God is my friend and will be with me throughout my life. I love him and will praise His name forever. He is my rock and my everlasting God. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Then and Now

I’m transcribing a document for Per and the process has taken weeks because of slowness and fatigue. I used to type really fast; so fast, in fact, that I thought in words instead of letters. One of the things I experience because of MS is that my right hand is slow and inaccurate. To use an analogy, I used to be a rabbit and now I’m a turtle.

Slowness isn’t the only thing I experience – I get tired too. Once I did many things, but now I do one thing before feeling extremely tired.  I work on the document then stop after a short time because of fatigue. For the rest of the day I sit in my living room chair because I feel too tired to do anything more.

After getting sick I lamented about my lost abilities. One day I realized that lamenting just made me feel bad and caused me to live in the past. (In my heart I want to be a fast typist like before, and wish I could do many things, but I can't and that's realistic.) Accepting what I can do now causes me to live in the present moment (even though I remember what I once could do.)

Now to be philosophical: We can do many things at a young age, but when we get older we wish we could do the things we once could. (I think excessively wishing this causes mid-life crises.) We’d be better off to accept the current reality and let the past remain in the past. When we accept the current reality, we don't give in or giving up or say “Why try?" but “I'll do my best with what I can do right now.”

I want to remember the positive and hopeful feelings I have when I think of what I can do and not what I can’t.

I Don't Believe in Feminism

Where I grew up, men and women had defined roles. In the 70's, my church taught that women had divine nurturing abilities and needed to be in the home raising children. Many people in my town had that opinion in the 80's. I felt guilty working back then but I had to work because I had responsibilities and I didn't have a husband who could earn the money needed to cover them.

Now that I no longer work, I look back and wonder why my church said women needed to stay home. The feminist movement had a lot of influence back then. In the 70's, a lot of women left their homes and took jobs. Back then women talked of equality and equal pay for equal jobs. Women had the best of both worlds because they worked AND after they got pregnant and had their baby, some of them stayed home to raise their children.

I have an "I don't like it" opinion about feminism. I believe that the movement damaged my husband's chance to succeed in that his income got lowered because now more people work. I think that the workplace would be better off being a man's world. I believe that women have different attitudes than men and that women complicate environments where both men and women work. Men know how to do business with other men. Men know how men think. Women can be catty but men can be crushing. Men know how to deal with crushing blows, but when a woman gets crushed she retaliates. Men let things go whereas women hold on to things (and it takes longer for them to let go if they ever do.)

I believe that women should do what they do best. Some men want to take care of women. They want to be the breadwinner, but some women have an I can do it myself attitude, and want to have the best of both worlds. Some women want to work as well as be mothers and they want to do it right now! (Imagine a little girl with a straight armed fist stomping her foot.) That woman's attitude has caused her children to think that all women are like her; that all young women need to be like her; and that women are better than men. (Where's the equality in "better than"?)

Some of my friends are thinking right now I can't believe you're saying this because I have to work. Other friends are thinking right now I can't believe you're saying this because I want work. I'm not saying to women, don't work, I'm saying do what you do best (which is, if you're young, to raise children and be a woman, or, if you're older, to do what you love and be a woman.)

To women I say, be women; embrace your womanhood and don't try to be men.

Grateful For the Simple Things

Something simple makes me as happy as something complicated. I find pleasure in anything that brings me joy. Today, the simple thing is my mattress. Let me fill you in... I've thought many times I love my bed because I've felt comfortable when I've laid on it. Recently, my back began to ache because I waited too long to flip my mattress. Per flipped it for me but it didn't help, so, a few days later, I asked him to flip it another way. This time, after I slept on it, my back felt better. So good, in fact, that I went back to bed a second time and got some much needed rest. Once again, I awoke thinking I love my bed. My back still hurts, but I know It'll get better.

I am thankful for solutions to problems. I know that my husband is too, because I'm not crabby when a solution is found. I feel sad that I get crabby when faced with something that brings me pain. (I wish I had a nicer temperament when facing that kind of situation. It's not fair that I take my frustration out on the people I love because I know they are only trying to help.) Back to my bed, I can say with assurance that my husband is happy that I love it again.

My New Life

I raised children for 22 years. This is the first year since 1990 that I haven’t needed to know when school starts because my baby graduated from public school last May. I feel happy in some ways but sad in others. I find myself asking “now what?” regarding what to do with my life.

My oldest son graduated from college and married at the end of the spring term. My youngest son also graduated, but from high school. For years I wanted to see those days come. Now that my raising children time has been and gone, I look back over that time and realize how fast it went by. Back when I raised children I couldn't see the end and the time seemed like it would last forever. Now that my children have moved on with their lives (and I’m happy for them,) I want my babies back because raising children is what I know.

I find myself at a crossroad of leaving behind what I knew. The discovery of moving into new territory is exciting, but, as a creature of habit, I keep looking back. (I faced this when I got sick. I had to leave behind my old life and discover my new life. I lamented when I got sick because I wanted my old life, nevertheless, it had gone and I needed to embrace the new.)

I realize that the only thing constant is change. (Actually, I wouldn’t want things to stay the same because I’m not the same.) I like change but I like what I know…the two don’t mix.

Make a Difference

Something to think about…

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     It only takxs onx pxrson to sxt thx xxamplx! Go ahxad, bx that xxamplx. You’ll bx surprisxd at how by just onx pxrson’s actions, many morx will follow! Bx thx onx pxrson to lxad thx crowd. Bx thx onx pxrson that othxr pxoplx follow. Bx thx onx pxrson that changxs somxonx’s lifx!

Thoughts About Sweden

This is Per's family: Tore, Monika, Ann-Sofie (Ahlqvist), and Nils Lövgren. They all live in Sweden. My family lives in the U.S., in Kansas, 3,000 miles away. I like to go visit them in Sweden, but we only go every few years because it's expensive. We usually have to take three or four airplane rides to get to Sweden (Kansas to Minneapolis to Zurich to Stockholm) then it's another four hours from Stockholm to their home in Väse. The entire trip takes about 24 hours and their home is seven time zones ahead of what we're used to, so we have jet lag when we get there.

The longest airplane ride is about nine hours on a 747 (Minneapolis to Zurich.) In the past, this plane ride has been fun for many reasons including that the airplane is big and I get to sit with my four family members. (On 747's, in coach, two seats are on the left side, two seats are on the right side, and four seats are in the middle [the place my family always sits].) Now that we have five people in our family, I imagine three of us will sit in the middle and two of us will either sit behind, in front, or to the side of the others. In any case, the trip will be fun.

The last couple of times we've gone to Sweden, TV screens have embedded the backs of each seat. I've thought of this as convenient because each person could put their headphones on and watch their own movie. Usually, the airplane had about nine movies to choose from; so if a person couldn't sleep they had something to do.

Flight Attendants usually serve two meals on that nine hour ride: dinner and breakfast. The food tastes pretty alright. (One of my memories of that airplane ride is: As little boys, Bryan or Andrew would inevitably spill their drink on Per.) After flying for a while, the air on the plane gets pretty stale and the throat gets dry. About that time, a flight attendant walks down the aisles and asks awake persons if they'd like some water. (I always feel glad to drink it.)

When we finally get to Per's Swedish home, some kind of food always awaits us. Sometimes we eat dinner, other times we eat something light. No matter what we eat, we always have Knäcke Bröd (cracker bread) with butter and yummy cheese. I love Knäcke Bröd with butter and thin slices of cheese. For some reason, it tastes even better in Sweden (probably because the butter and cheese are different [better] than where I live.) In any case, I love to have Knäcke Bröd in Sweden. (I especially like it when Per makes it for me [probably because he uses more butter than I do].)

Per's mother, Monika, is an excellent cook. We've had her deer roast, moose meatballs, smoked salmon, pancakes with pea soup, and fresh strawberries with vanilla sauce to name a few things. The deer roast is amazing. When Per asks her how she makes it she says "I just do a little bit of this and a little bit of that." (She made the roast one time when she visited us in Kansas, and my house smelled just like Sweden.) She has told me how to make it but I'll never be able to make it like her. If I practice a few times, I'm sure it will be good but not as good as hers. 

Per's home in Sweden is about 100 years old and on a farm. It's so quiet that when I awake in the morning I can hear the leaves rustling in the trees. If I look out the front door I'll see forest to the left, farm fields to the right, and a barn and a pig house down the lane straight ahead. The house has a lot of wood inside it, and when I'm there the smell of wood and the air tells me I'm in Sweden.

Sweden is the same latitude as Juno, Alaska. There, the sky never gets dark in the summer. But, it gets very dark in the winter. We mostly go there around mid-summer (the end of June) when they have the midnight sun. (During the midnight sun, it get's about as dark as dusk so it's hard to tell what time it is. The sun still rises and sets but it never gets dark at night. It could be 3AM and still light enough to see without a flashlight.) 

The food is one of my  favorite things about Sweden. We always get Swedish pizza while we're there. The thing I like is that no matter where I'm at, the pizza menus I've seen are always the same. I like that because, as a creature of habit, I get the same thing every time. My pizza is called Bussola: it has ham, shrimp, tomato sauce and cheese. There are two best things about getting pizza in Sweden. The first is that each person gets their own, which is about the size of a dinner plate. The second is that it only costs about five bucks per person.

Menu at Swedish pizza restaurant

The thing that strikes me most in Sweden is how old things are. The Lutheran church in Väse (Per's hometown) has saints buried under tiles (inside, at the front of the church.) The font used to bless newborn babies is from the 700's. The oldest thing I know of in America is from the 1600's. Sweden had vikings a thousand years ago when part of the country was under ice. The country had Kings and wars (they still have a King but politics are handled by the Prime Minister and they haven't been a part of a war for a while because Sweden is a neutral country.) I've seen ruins and walked through a castle that stands today. I've seen (in a natural history museum) the remains of a viking woman - her bones are at least 1,000 years old. I've walked the streets of cities from medieval times. Seeing those things has made history come alive for me. (I wonder if Swedish people have the same awe I do, or if something old is just another thing to see.)

Väse Church

Väse Church Font

Borgholm Castle ruin

More ruins on Ӧland

Kalmar Castle

Visby, once a medieval town

Skull in chainmail at the museum of natural history in  Visby

The cobblestone streets of Visby

I love Sweden. Unfortunately, I don't speak Swedish. Also, I don't go there often enough to feel like a Swede. (Almost everyone there knows how to speak English, but they prefer to speak Swedish.) I understand how people feel that come to America but don't speak English. I admire people who speak fluently in more than one language. I could go on and on about Sweden. It's a lovely place. My family and I have been there quite a few times.  It's always great to see family and I love to be in that foreign place.

Happy Fourth of July!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwW_sN_KDDk

This song make me feel proud to be an American! I know it's not America's national anthem but it's extremely patriotic. I love how happy the conductor looks!

Doing What You Love

It won't be hard for a person to be a millionaire if they don't let their fear stop them, and if they do what they love without being concerned with money. Money is a by-product that is freely given when people are touched by something a person does because they love it. Those who seek after money will never have it. But, if a person does what they love, they will have money - they need to believe that's true.

Obamacare

Call it healthcare in America or Obamacare. Whatever you call it doesn't matter because the Supreme Court determined it's here to stay. The Supreme Court found a loop hole in the law (in the commerce clause) where they determined it constitutional to fine a person.

According to them, it's unconstitutional to force someone to have insurance. However...if a person goes to the hospital without having insurance, they will be fined. (Just like if someone gets in a car accident and they don't have car insurance, they will be fined with a ticket.)

It sounds good so far, doesn't it?

This law doesn't change anything except that now the government will get more money. Some people still won't get insurance, and when they go to the emergency room the doctor will still help them (because the doctor swore by the Hippocratic oath to practice medicine ethically and honestly.) But now, when a person goes to the emergency room without insurance they will be fined. In my opinion, when a person gets fined, that money won't go to the hospital. The money will go to the city (government) and the hospital won't see one penny of it.

(Just like when my mom got in a car accident with an uninsured driver. Yes, the driver got fined. No, my mom didn't get  the money to fix her car. The money went to the city. Legally, all the policeman could do was say to my mom "Sorry." My mom had to pay to fix what she hadn't damaged. What a crappy situation, but she could only act within the law. Unfortunately, the law didn't rule on her side. The law sided with the uninsured driver. Now, the law will side with the uninsured medical person.)

People won't get insurance just because the law requires it. If they can't afford it, they can't afford it.

Now that I think of it, how will the person without medical insurance be fined - will the hospital call the police? Surely, the Supreme Court isn't giving hospital's the police authority to fine people. Assuming they are (a scary thought,) are they also giving doctor's office's that authority when a person goes to the doctor without medical insurance? Where does it stop? When does the Supreme Court say "that's too far"? The Supreme Court said "We're not responsible for people's choices." I feel like I'm on my own and my Supreme Court won't defend me...they'll defend the other guy.

I do think Americans need healthcare reform, but I don't think Obamacare is the answer. However, now that Obamacare has gotten the Supreme Court's stamp of approval , I don't think it will ever be changed because cities won't want to give up their newly gotten money. Obamacare is fair to some people, but unfair to a lot of others.

Capitalism and Greed

I heard a very interesting theory that people don't like capitalism because people don't like greed. If the theory is true, it implies that all capitalists are greedy. That's not true because some people who have money are very giving. They share their wealth and aren't bad people just because they have money.

Greed has nothing to do with whether or not a person has money: it has to do with choice. A capitalist can choose to be greedy...but so can a poor person. It's inaccurate to associate greed with only rich people.

When I think about it, everyone who has a job is a capitalist because they work to get money. It's not fair to blame someone who is good at making money because the blaming person has less. A capitalist is someone who invests their money according to the principles of capitalism. Capitalism is producing goods or services for a profit. 

These definitions make me realize that everyone who has a 401k is a capitalist because they invest their money to make a profit. They put money into their 401k and based on the investments they chose, hope to make more money. Yes, every stock broker is a capitalist because they work to make a return on their investment (a profit.) But do I need to fault them because they know how to invest in the stock market, and perhaps do so well? I can see faulting them because they are greedy but not because of how they choose to make money.

If I fault the stock broker for making money, do I also fault the doctor? Isn't every business in existence to make money?  Hating the stock broker but not the doctor, seems crazy to me because they both have money. Perhaps I need to hate the stock broker because he/she has more money. That doesn't seem fair.

Everyone who sells something for a profit is a capitalist. If I had a home that I bought for $200,000 and sold it for $250,000, I'm a capitalist because I made a profit of $50,000. If I bought my car for $7,000 and sold it for $8,000, I'm a capitalist because I capitalized on the sale of my car by making a profit of $1,000. Whenever I sell something, I hope to collect the asking price but I might negotiate a lower price with the buyer. My lower priced sale doesn't mean I'm not a capitalist. I want to make a profit or at least my asking price, but sometimes that doesn't happen.

I believe in some social programs because certain people do need help. However, people who don't need help, (who could get what they need some other way,) corrupt programs with their greed and hurt people who truly them. Social programs can never work as intended because people are imperfect, greedy, and want something for nothing. In most cases, the programs take away each person's freedom by choosing for them. 

There are people who qualify for some programs who choose to not use them because the don't want to give up their ability to choose. A person's situation may seem bleak but that person can choose to overcome adversity, pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and become what seems impossible. They don't need a program to choose for them because they can choose for themselves.

Having money isn't a bad thing. It's the American Dream to make as much money as possible based on merit. People come to America from all over the world to prosper and live the American Dream. Not just foreigners but also most Americans strive for the American Dream. The sad thing is that lately when people are prosperous, they are condemned as if they did something bad. I don't understand it and shake my head in confusion.

I'm tired of hearing that capitalism is bad. No, it isn't. Just like money isn't bad. If I choose to love money more than anything, that's bad...but it's also my choice.

A Photo Experience

I have to blog about this because our feelings showed in our family picture. I bought a Target Portrait package from Groupon because I wanted a family picture with our newest family member, Kimbra. I scheduled our photo shoot for the same Saturday that Andrew flew to California but the gal on the phone assured me we would be done well before the time we had leave for the airport.

Andrew's flight left at 2:30 P.M. Per and I planned to drive Andrew to the airport, and we needed to leave by 12:30 (in order to get there an hour before the flight.) I scheduled our portrait time for 10:00 in the morning (and knew it would take about an hour.) I figured that getting home by 11:00 would give us plenty of time to change clothes before going to the airport.

We got to Target promptly for our appointment. Two girls worked that day. One of them told us to wait while the other people in the studio finished, so we sat on the chairs in the waiting area. The people in the studio finished and came out to the front where they looked at their pictures on a computer and chose a package.

The same girl came over to us again and told us we had to wait longer because of them being short handed. Then we watched as two more families arrived and went into the studio ahead of us! We waited an hour past our appointment before finally getting into the studio at 11:00. (I considered us having our pictures taken while feeling extremely angry an ironic situation.)

We waited for so long that during our session the photographer had devised a plan. She said she would take our pictures, then we would leave, then we would go back to their store after we went to the airport, then we would pick our pictures. I felt so flustered that I didn't notice the fact that she took pictures of ALL the kids and didn't take any of just Bryan and Kimbra. We followed her plan and upon our return to the studio, Per and I picked the pictures we liked best. Then, again, we left.

The photographer took our pictures by noon. We drove home and changed before going to the airport. Andrew made his flight. We got our pictures taken. But our photo experience didn't happen the way I planned: I wanted the experience to feel happy but instead it felt stressful.

Per just picked up our pictures yesterday even though they had been ready since May 30. Of course the girl tried to sell him additional pictures besides the ones we bought. He just wanted to get our pictures and get out of there, so he told her no thanks. (I'm glad I didn't go into the store instead of Per because if she had tried to sell me additional pictures I would have given her a piece of my mind...and it wouldn't have been pretty.)

Most of the photos surprised me and looked nice. I laughed when I saw our family photo because Per, Bryan, and I don't look that great whereas Andrew and Kimbra do. One thing I know is that I will NEVER again buy a Target portrait package.

Here are the pictures we got. The composite picture is large and wouldn't fit in my scanner but you get the idea. Don't let the picture of just Bryan and Kimbra fool you: it also included Andrew but Target must have cropped him out.

A Monumental Day

Call last Friday a monumental day.

Recently, I sat in the yellow chair in my kitchen, with a cutting board on the ottoman, and cut four celery stalks into smaller pieces then put the pieces into eight bags. The work didn't make me tired so after doing the celery, I made 14 grab-bags using all of the refrigerated grape tomatoes and strawberries. A couple of days later, I sat in a rolling chair in the laundry room and sorted my clothes. While sitting in that chair, I loaded the washer and proceeded to do three loads of my laundry.

My world expanded when I realized that I could do many things when sitting, and that sitting and reaching didn't make me as tired standing and reaching. I contemplated how a rolling chair on each floor would give me mobility.  (For example, a chair in my room would allow me to keep my room clean, make my bed, go in the closet, do my hair, put on makeup, and, something I haven't done in years, iron.)

Granted, my fine motor skills are different now and I can't do some things, but I CAN do a lot of things and ask someone to do the things I can't. Some things in my house will have to be moved so I can reach them, but I'll be able to do things instead of just sit and watch tv.

That action has given me more hope than anything has in the last four years. I feel so happy and wonderful that I regard my world as a new world of possibility. Last night I thought about Friday being a monumental day.  I considered how the day felt great because I had accepted my limitations, whereas, before...I hadn't. (I'd been sick for almost four years and for most of that time I cried whenever I failed at something because I felt sad remembering the past.)

I had stopped doing the things I could no longer do and hadn't done some things for a long time. When I did them I felt a sense of elation. The elation probably intensified because I didn't think once I could do this.

Parents: Have Faith in Your Kids

Technology evolves every day. It's good because it introduces people to new things, but it's bad because kids give it more attention than before. Parents want their kids to have their values but technology is replacing their teaching in some ways. 

It really has to do with money and morality. The main question companies ask themselves is: "How can I make the most money? (and I don't care if it's right or not.)" Kids play into their hands because they don't know better. Kids need to listen to caution (which is usually what their parents do-because of experience) but caution is boring to kids. Kids used to do two things: 1) They listened to their parents, and 2) they did the right thing. In today's world I see a trend forming where a lot of kids do neither.

The inclination of some parents is to get rid of everything that could harm their kids. That action won't solve the problem of their kids not listening to them. I wonder why parents think their kids would increase their interaction after they eliminate the things their kids like. The fact is, today's kids live in a technological world whether their parents like it or not. It doesn't help kids when their technology is taken away and they are forced to live in a past time. I don't think parents want to knowingly handicap their kids and make them social outcasts but that's what happens when they take away what other kids have. 

One day kids are going to live in society, but if they don't know how to do normal things, then society will think they're weird. I believe parents want their children to succeed, they don't want to punish them, but they are scared. I understand this fear because when I raised kids I wanted to live in a technological world, but I also wanted my kids to listen to me. 

The positive outcome I see is parents teaching their kids as much as they can, and then BELIEVING they'll make right choices. Kids want to do right things but they also want to choose for themselves. Often, kids don't know what the right thing is. Their parents can teach them but then they need to step back and let their kids decide. When a kid makes a mistake they will eventually correct their error (because of experience) but they want to know that their parents love them no matter what they do. Every kid wants to know that their parents believe in their ability to make good decisions - they want to believe that their parents have faith in them.

It's risky for parents to trust their kids because they are so young and inexperienced. But when a kid falls flat on their face because they chose wrong, they learn and eventually think "I'm not going to make that mistake again!" It's hard (sometimes heartbreaking) for parents to watch their kids make mistakes.  Parents want to save their kids from hurting so they force their choice on kids, but kids want to choose for themselves.

Parents of the past said "you should" and made kids feel guilty.  Kids conformed because they wanted to do the right thing-at that time, the popular action. Some of today's kids hear "you should" and think "I won't." They don't want to feel guilty so they stop doing what their parents say and instead listen to their friends or strangers.

I believe that if parents want their kids in their life (without their kids holding a grudge or feeling animosity) parents will stop making their kids feel guilty and instead have faith in them.

Accomplishments are a Big Deal!

I used to shrug off my accomplishments and think of them as no big deal. I am creative and would think I can replicate the thing if I need it. I no longer hand-write but when I could, I wrote things to cheer people up. I can no longer sing but when I could, I sang to people to encourage them. I no longer draw but when I did, I made some wonderful art. At work, I made many good spreadsheets and typed great letters that included just the right words and sentences. At home, I ironed well and cleaned thoroughly.

I never valued the creative things I did, but I can't do them anymore and now I think Wow! I had talent. (I know I still have talent, but the great things I once did, I thought came naturally to everyone. Now I know that everyone couldn't do the great job I did.)

Everyone has at least one talent - I'd venture to say they have many. The things that came naturally to me, could also be called talents. When I felt inspired to sing, I sang. When I thought that perhaps the quote or poem or book I had would help someone, I gave it to them. I gladly gave away many things and didn't save a copy for myself because the thing was for them not me.

Today I wondered, as I looked around my home, how will my kids know that I cared about people? I think they will know because of how I cared about them.

This morning I considered all the things I had made and thought amazing. The things I did are noteworthy and deserve acknowledgment. I wouldn't have once thought that but instead would have shrugged it off because it came easy to me. I considered the things I did "no big deal."

People have talents that I don't have. Perhaps they don't consider them amazing because they come naturally, but I'm here to say "things they do that they think aren't a big deal ARE!" People need give themselves credit for what they can do instead of think they need to do more.

Political Correctness Isn't What We Think

I don't like for people to tell me what to think and how to feel, but some people do and I think that's why we have political correctness. 

Political Correctness tells people how to behave. It says "don't say that because it's mean, instead say this." I noticed the effect P.C. had on my thinking when I watched "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" last Christmas. The kids at school made fun of his nose and called him names. His dad put mud on his nose so the kids wouldn't make fun of him. My politically correct thinking caused me to not like the meanness of the kids and to not want to watch the show. I have watched that show for years but that time I particularly noticed the mean comments over Rudolph having to be tough and a hero in the end.

I think being nice is great but I don't agree with telling people how they "should" be to the point that they feel guilty. I believe that even though a person is told how to be, at the first chance they get, they will be how they are. I saw this occur when people were allowed to comment on news stories. Instead of them being nice (or pc) some people said mean things and hid behind anonymity. I think they were even more rude because they weren't associated with their name. No body knew who they were when they had online names like "FatMan" and "Jokester."

People are who they are. Telling others to be another way makes them feel disapproval and guilt. They have to want to change because they want it not because there are told. It's great to say how to be without preaching, condemning, and guilting. Jesus said "don't judge" but when He encountered a judgemental person He didn't condemn them....He loved and showed mercy to them.

Kids aren't politically correct. They call others names like fat, ugly, and stupid. Adults tell kids to be nice, but kids still call names. Instead of the victims getting tough, they get angry and say "it's not fair." Adults make everyone a winner but kids know there's really only one. Adults make awards that are fair but life isn't fair. When kids get into the "real world" they aren't prepared. They think everyone should be awarded because that's what they're taught. They're wimps instead of tough because they weren't taught to be tough but to get angry or cry at the unfairness.

I think that political correctness is a ploy for people not to defend themselves. Kids are taught to think of the other person instead of themselves...when they are the one's getting bullied. That's wrong. The mentality to think of the other person would be a good way to think...if we lived in a perfect world. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world. Some people in this world want to kill us, and we need to defend ourselves. We don't need to start a fight, but if someone else does than we need to protect ourselves. 

Political correctness isn't good. It's good to be nice, but it's not good to be forced. I hope my post is a wake up call to all people to realize that they don't want to be forced. I believe that political correctness was started in the 60's by metaphysical people who believed in eastern religions. They founded social groups in the 80's and taught their philosophies on recognizing feelings, and being peaceful to establish peace. The world embraced it and now, 30 years later, we are wimps and won't defend ourselves.

Let's be what we know is right. We know right from wrong, let's do it.