Make a Difference

Something to think about…

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Thoughts About Sweden

This is Per's family: Tore, Monika, Ann-Sofie (Ahlqvist), and Nils Lövgren. They all live in Sweden. My family lives in the U.S., in Kansas, 3,000 miles away. I like to go visit them in Sweden, but we only go every few years because it's expensive. We usually have to take three or four airplane rides to get to Sweden (Kansas to Minneapolis to Zurich to Stockholm) then it's another four hours from Stockholm to their home in Väse. The entire trip takes about 24 hours and their home is seven time zones ahead of what we're used to, so we have jet lag when we get there.

The longest airplane ride is about nine hours on a 747 (Minneapolis to Zurich.) In the past, this plane ride has been fun for many reasons including that the airplane is big and I get to sit with my four family members. (On 747's, in coach, two seats are on the left side, two seats are on the right side, and four seats are in the middle [the place my family always sits].) Now that we have five people in our family, I imagine three of us will sit in the middle and two of us will either sit behind, in front, or to the side of the others. In any case, the trip will be fun.

The last couple of times we've gone to Sweden, TV screens have embedded the backs of each seat. I've thought of this as convenient because each person could put their headphones on and watch their own movie. Usually, the airplane had about nine movies to choose from; so if a person couldn't sleep they had something to do.

Flight Attendants usually serve two meals on that nine hour ride: dinner and breakfast. The food tastes pretty alright. (One of my memories of that airplane ride is: As little boys, Bryan or Andrew would inevitably spill their drink on Per.) After flying for a while, the air on the plane gets pretty stale and the throat gets dry. About that time, a flight attendant walks down the aisles and asks awake persons if they'd like some water. (I always feel glad to drink it.)

When we finally get to Per's Swedish home, some kind of food always awaits us. Sometimes we eat dinner, other times we eat something light. No matter what we eat, we always have Knäcke Bröd (cracker bread) with butter and yummy cheese. I love Knäcke Bröd with butter and thin slices of cheese. For some reason, it tastes even better in Sweden (probably because the butter and cheese are different [better] than where I live.) In any case, I love to have Knäcke Bröd in Sweden. (I especially like it when Per makes it for me [probably because he uses more butter than I do].)

Per's mother, Monika, is an excellent cook. We've had her deer roast, moose meatballs, smoked salmon, pancakes with pea soup, and fresh strawberries with vanilla sauce to name a few things. The deer roast is amazing. When Per asks her how she makes it she says "I just do a little bit of this and a little bit of that." (She made the roast one time when she visited us in Kansas, and my house smelled just like Sweden.) She has told me how to make it but I'll never be able to make it like her. If I practice a few times, I'm sure it will be good but not as good as hers. 

Per's home in Sweden is about 100 years old and on a farm. It's so quiet that when I awake in the morning I can hear the leaves rustling in the trees. If I look out the front door I'll see forest to the left, farm fields to the right, and a barn and a pig house down the lane straight ahead. The house has a lot of wood inside it, and when I'm there the smell of wood and the air tells me I'm in Sweden.

Sweden is the same latitude as Juno, Alaska. There, the sky never gets dark in the summer. But, it gets very dark in the winter. We mostly go there around mid-summer (the end of June) when they have the midnight sun. (During the midnight sun, it get's about as dark as dusk so it's hard to tell what time it is. The sun still rises and sets but it never gets dark at night. It could be 3AM and still light enough to see without a flashlight.) 

The food is one of my  favorite things about Sweden. We always get Swedish pizza while we're there. The thing I like is that no matter where I'm at, the pizza menus I've seen are always the same. I like that because, as a creature of habit, I get the same thing every time. My pizza is called Bussola: it has ham, shrimp, tomato sauce and cheese. There are two best things about getting pizza in Sweden. The first is that each person gets their own, which is about the size of a dinner plate. The second is that it only costs about five bucks per person.

Menu at Swedish pizza restaurant

The thing that strikes me most in Sweden is how old things are. The Lutheran church in Väse (Per's hometown) has saints buried under tiles (inside, at the front of the church.) The font used to bless newborn babies is from the 700's. The oldest thing I know of in America is from the 1600's. Sweden had vikings a thousand years ago when part of the country was under ice. The country had Kings and wars (they still have a King but politics are handled by the Prime Minister and they haven't been a part of a war for a while because Sweden is a neutral country.) I've seen ruins and walked through a castle that stands today. I've seen (in a natural history museum) the remains of a viking woman - her bones are at least 1,000 years old. I've walked the streets of cities from medieval times. Seeing those things has made history come alive for me. (I wonder if Swedish people have the same awe I do, or if something old is just another thing to see.)

Väse Church

Väse Church Font

Borgholm Castle ruin

More ruins on Ӧland

Kalmar Castle

Visby, once a medieval town

Skull in chainmail at the museum of natural history in  Visby

The cobblestone streets of Visby

I love Sweden. Unfortunately, I don't speak Swedish. Also, I don't go there often enough to feel like a Swede. (Almost everyone there knows how to speak English, but they prefer to speak Swedish.) I understand how people feel that come to America but don't speak English. I admire people who speak fluently in more than one language. I could go on and on about Sweden. It's a lovely place. My family and I have been there quite a few times.  It's always great to see family and I love to be in that foreign place.

Happy Fourth of July!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwW_sN_KDDk

This song make me feel proud to be an American! I know it's not America's national anthem but it's extremely patriotic. I love how happy the conductor looks!

Doing What You Love

It won't be hard for a person to be a millionaire if they don't let their fear stop them, and if they do what they love without being concerned with money. Money is a by-product that is freely given when people are touched by something a person does because they love it. Those who seek after money will never have it. But, if a person does what they love, they will have money - they need to believe that's true.

Obamacare

Call it healthcare in America or Obamacare. Whatever you call it doesn't matter because the Supreme Court determined it's here to stay. The Supreme Court found a loop hole in the law (in the commerce clause) where they determined it constitutional to fine a person.

According to them, it's unconstitutional to force someone to have insurance. However...if a person goes to the hospital without having insurance, they will be fined. (Just like if someone gets in a car accident and they don't have car insurance, they will be fined with a ticket.)

It sounds good so far, doesn't it?

This law doesn't change anything except that now the government will get more money. Some people still won't get insurance, and when they go to the emergency room the doctor will still help them (because the doctor swore by the Hippocratic oath to practice medicine ethically and honestly.) But now, when a person goes to the emergency room without insurance they will be fined. In my opinion, when a person gets fined, that money won't go to the hospital. The money will go to the city (government) and the hospital won't see one penny of it.

(Just like when my mom got in a car accident with an uninsured driver. Yes, the driver got fined. No, my mom didn't get  the money to fix her car. The money went to the city. Legally, all the policeman could do was say to my mom "Sorry." My mom had to pay to fix what she hadn't damaged. What a crappy situation, but she could only act within the law. Unfortunately, the law didn't rule on her side. The law sided with the uninsured driver. Now, the law will side with the uninsured medical person.)

People won't get insurance just because the law requires it. If they can't afford it, they can't afford it.

Now that I think of it, how will the person without medical insurance be fined - will the hospital call the police? Surely, the Supreme Court isn't giving hospital's the police authority to fine people. Assuming they are (a scary thought,) are they also giving doctor's office's that authority when a person goes to the doctor without medical insurance? Where does it stop? When does the Supreme Court say "that's too far"? The Supreme Court said "We're not responsible for people's choices." I feel like I'm on my own and my Supreme Court won't defend me...they'll defend the other guy.

I do think Americans need healthcare reform, but I don't think Obamacare is the answer. However, now that Obamacare has gotten the Supreme Court's stamp of approval , I don't think it will ever be changed because cities won't want to give up their newly gotten money. Obamacare is fair to some people, but unfair to a lot of others.

Capitalism and Greed

I heard a very interesting theory that people don't like capitalism because people don't like greed. If the theory is true, it implies that all capitalists are greedy. That's not true because some people who have money are very giving. They share their wealth and aren't bad people just because they have money.

Greed has nothing to do with whether or not a person has money: it has to do with choice. A capitalist can choose to be greedy...but so can a poor person. It's inaccurate to associate greed with only rich people.

When I think about it, everyone who has a job is a capitalist because they work to get money. It's not fair to blame someone who is good at making money because the blaming person has less. A capitalist is someone who invests their money according to the principles of capitalism. Capitalism is producing goods or services for a profit. 

These definitions make me realize that everyone who has a 401k is a capitalist because they invest their money to make a profit. They put money into their 401k and based on the investments they chose, hope to make more money. Yes, every stock broker is a capitalist because they work to make a return on their investment (a profit.) But do I need to fault them because they know how to invest in the stock market, and perhaps do so well? I can see faulting them because they are greedy but not because of how they choose to make money.

If I fault the stock broker for making money, do I also fault the doctor? Isn't every business in existence to make money?  Hating the stock broker but not the doctor, seems crazy to me because they both have money. Perhaps I need to hate the stock broker because he/she has more money. That doesn't seem fair.

Everyone who sells something for a profit is a capitalist. If I had a home that I bought for $200,000 and sold it for $250,000, I'm a capitalist because I made a profit of $50,000. If I bought my car for $7,000 and sold it for $8,000, I'm a capitalist because I capitalized on the sale of my car by making a profit of $1,000. Whenever I sell something, I hope to collect the asking price but I might negotiate a lower price with the buyer. My lower priced sale doesn't mean I'm not a capitalist. I want to make a profit or at least my asking price, but sometimes that doesn't happen.

I believe in some social programs because certain people do need help. However, people who don't need help, (who could get what they need some other way,) corrupt programs with their greed and hurt people who truly them. Social programs can never work as intended because people are imperfect, greedy, and want something for nothing. In most cases, the programs take away each person's freedom by choosing for them. 

There are people who qualify for some programs who choose to not use them because the don't want to give up their ability to choose. A person's situation may seem bleak but that person can choose to overcome adversity, pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and become what seems impossible. They don't need a program to choose for them because they can choose for themselves.

Having money isn't a bad thing. It's the American Dream to make as much money as possible based on merit. People come to America from all over the world to prosper and live the American Dream. Not just foreigners but also most Americans strive for the American Dream. The sad thing is that lately when people are prosperous, they are condemned as if they did something bad. I don't understand it and shake my head in confusion.

I'm tired of hearing that capitalism is bad. No, it isn't. Just like money isn't bad. If I choose to love money more than anything, that's bad...but it's also my choice.

A Photo Experience

I have to blog about this because our feelings showed in our family picture. I bought a Target Portrait package from Groupon because I wanted a family picture with our newest family member, Kimbra. I scheduled our photo shoot for the same Saturday that Andrew flew to California but the gal on the phone assured me we would be done well before the time we had leave for the airport.

Andrew's flight left at 2:30 P.M. Per and I planned to drive Andrew to the airport, and we needed to leave by 12:30 (in order to get there an hour before the flight.) I scheduled our portrait time for 10:00 in the morning (and knew it would take about an hour.) I figured that getting home by 11:00 would give us plenty of time to change clothes before going to the airport.

We got to Target promptly for our appointment. Two girls worked that day. One of them told us to wait while the other people in the studio finished, so we sat on the chairs in the waiting area. The people in the studio finished and came out to the front where they looked at their pictures on a computer and chose a package.

The same girl came over to us again and told us we had to wait longer because of them being short handed. Then we watched as two more families arrived and went into the studio ahead of us! We waited an hour past our appointment before finally getting into the studio at 11:00. (I considered us having our pictures taken while feeling extremely angry an ironic situation.)

We waited for so long that during our session the photographer had devised a plan. She said she would take our pictures, then we would leave, then we would go back to their store after we went to the airport, then we would pick our pictures. I felt so flustered that I didn't notice the fact that she took pictures of ALL the kids and didn't take any of just Bryan and Kimbra. We followed her plan and upon our return to the studio, Per and I picked the pictures we liked best. Then, again, we left.

The photographer took our pictures by noon. We drove home and changed before going to the airport. Andrew made his flight. We got our pictures taken. But our photo experience didn't happen the way I planned: I wanted the experience to feel happy but instead it felt stressful.

Per just picked up our pictures yesterday even though they had been ready since May 30. Of course the girl tried to sell him additional pictures besides the ones we bought. He just wanted to get our pictures and get out of there, so he told her no thanks. (I'm glad I didn't go into the store instead of Per because if she had tried to sell me additional pictures I would have given her a piece of my mind...and it wouldn't have been pretty.)

Most of the photos surprised me and looked nice. I laughed when I saw our family photo because Per, Bryan, and I don't look that great whereas Andrew and Kimbra do. One thing I know is that I will NEVER again buy a Target portrait package.

Here are the pictures we got. The composite picture is large and wouldn't fit in my scanner but you get the idea. Don't let the picture of just Bryan and Kimbra fool you: it also included Andrew but Target must have cropped him out.

A Monumental Day

Call last Friday a monumental day.

Recently, I sat in the yellow chair in my kitchen, with a cutting board on the ottoman, and cut four celery stalks into smaller pieces then put the pieces into eight bags. The work didn't make me tired so after doing the celery, I made 14 grab-bags using all of the refrigerated grape tomatoes and strawberries. A couple of days later, I sat in a rolling chair in the laundry room and sorted my clothes. While sitting in that chair, I loaded the washer and proceeded to do three loads of my laundry.

My world expanded when I realized that I could do many things when sitting, and that sitting and reaching didn't make me as tired standing and reaching. I contemplated how a rolling chair on each floor would give me mobility.  (For example, a chair in my room would allow me to keep my room clean, make my bed, go in the closet, do my hair, put on makeup, and, something I haven't done in years, iron.)

Granted, my fine motor skills are different now and I can't do some things, but I CAN do a lot of things and ask someone to do the things I can't. Some things in my house will have to be moved so I can reach them, but I'll be able to do things instead of just sit and watch tv.

That action has given me more hope than anything has in the last four years. I feel so happy and wonderful that I regard my world as a new world of possibility. Last night I thought about Friday being a monumental day.  I considered how the day felt great because I had accepted my limitations, whereas, before...I hadn't. (I'd been sick for almost four years and for most of that time I cried whenever I failed at something because I felt sad remembering the past.)

I had stopped doing the things I could no longer do and hadn't done some things for a long time. When I did them I felt a sense of elation. The elation probably intensified because I didn't think once I could do this.

Parents: Have Faith in Your Kids

Technology evolves every day. It's good because it introduces people to new things, but it's bad because kids give it more attention than before. Parents want their kids to have their values but technology is replacing their teaching in some ways. 

It really has to do with money and morality. The main question companies ask themselves is: "How can I make the most money? (and I don't care if it's right or not.)" Kids play into their hands because they don't know better. Kids need to listen to caution (which is usually what their parents do-because of experience) but caution is boring to kids. Kids used to do two things: 1) They listened to their parents, and 2) they did the right thing. In today's world I see a trend forming where a lot of kids do neither.

The inclination of some parents is to get rid of everything that could harm their kids. That action won't solve the problem of their kids not listening to them. I wonder why parents think their kids would increase their interaction after they eliminate the things their kids like. The fact is, today's kids live in a technological world whether their parents like it or not. It doesn't help kids when their technology is taken away and they are forced to live in a past time. I don't think parents want to knowingly handicap their kids and make them social outcasts but that's what happens when they take away what other kids have. 

One day kids are going to live in society, but if they don't know how to do normal things, then society will think they're weird. I believe parents want their children to succeed, they don't want to punish them, but they are scared. I understand this fear because when I raised kids I wanted to live in a technological world, but I also wanted my kids to listen to me. 

The positive outcome I see is parents teaching their kids as much as they can, and then BELIEVING they'll make right choices. Kids want to do right things but they also want to choose for themselves. Often, kids don't know what the right thing is. Their parents can teach them but then they need to step back and let their kids decide. When a kid makes a mistake they will eventually correct their error (because of experience) but they want to know that their parents love them no matter what they do. Every kid wants to know that their parents believe in their ability to make good decisions - they want to believe that their parents have faith in them.

It's risky for parents to trust their kids because they are so young and inexperienced. But when a kid falls flat on their face because they chose wrong, they learn and eventually think "I'm not going to make that mistake again!" It's hard (sometimes heartbreaking) for parents to watch their kids make mistakes.  Parents want to save their kids from hurting so they force their choice on kids, but kids want to choose for themselves.

Parents of the past said "you should" and made kids feel guilty.  Kids conformed because they wanted to do the right thing-at that time, the popular action. Some of today's kids hear "you should" and think "I won't." They don't want to feel guilty so they stop doing what their parents say and instead listen to their friends or strangers.

I believe that if parents want their kids in their life (without their kids holding a grudge or feeling animosity) parents will stop making their kids feel guilty and instead have faith in them.

Accomplishments are a Big Deal!

I used to shrug off my accomplishments and think of them as no big deal. I am creative and would think I can replicate the thing if I need it. I no longer hand-write but when I could, I wrote things to cheer people up. I can no longer sing but when I could, I sang to people to encourage them. I no longer draw but when I did, I made some wonderful art. At work, I made many good spreadsheets and typed great letters that included just the right words and sentences. At home, I ironed well and cleaned thoroughly.

I never valued the creative things I did, but I can't do them anymore and now I think Wow! I had talent. (I know I still have talent, but the great things I once did, I thought came naturally to everyone. Now I know that everyone couldn't do the great job I did.)

Everyone has at least one talent - I'd venture to say they have many. The things that came naturally to me, could also be called talents. When I felt inspired to sing, I sang. When I thought that perhaps the quote or poem or book I had would help someone, I gave it to them. I gladly gave away many things and didn't save a copy for myself because the thing was for them not me.

Today I wondered, as I looked around my home, how will my kids know that I cared about people? I think they will know because of how I cared about them.

This morning I considered all the things I had made and thought amazing. The things I did are noteworthy and deserve acknowledgment. I wouldn't have once thought that but instead would have shrugged it off because it came easy to me. I considered the things I did "no big deal."

People have talents that I don't have. Perhaps they don't consider them amazing because they come naturally, but I'm here to say "things they do that they think aren't a big deal ARE!" People need give themselves credit for what they can do instead of think they need to do more.

Political Correctness Isn't What We Think

I don't like for people to tell me what to think and how to feel, but some people do and I think that's why we have political correctness. 

Political Correctness tells people how to behave. It says "don't say that because it's mean, instead say this." I noticed the effect P.C. had on my thinking when I watched "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" last Christmas. The kids at school made fun of his nose and called him names. His dad put mud on his nose so the kids wouldn't make fun of him. My politically correct thinking caused me to not like the meanness of the kids and to not want to watch the show. I have watched that show for years but that time I particularly noticed the mean comments over Rudolph having to be tough and a hero in the end.

I think being nice is great but I don't agree with telling people how they "should" be to the point that they feel guilty. I believe that even though a person is told how to be, at the first chance they get, they will be how they are. I saw this occur when people were allowed to comment on news stories. Instead of them being nice (or pc) some people said mean things and hid behind anonymity. I think they were even more rude because they weren't associated with their name. No body knew who they were when they had online names like "FatMan" and "Jokester."

People are who they are. Telling others to be another way makes them feel disapproval and guilt. They have to want to change because they want it not because there are told. It's great to say how to be without preaching, condemning, and guilting. Jesus said "don't judge" but when He encountered a judgemental person He didn't condemn them....He loved and showed mercy to them.

Kids aren't politically correct. They call others names like fat, ugly, and stupid. Adults tell kids to be nice, but kids still call names. Instead of the victims getting tough, they get angry and say "it's not fair." Adults make everyone a winner but kids know there's really only one. Adults make awards that are fair but life isn't fair. When kids get into the "real world" they aren't prepared. They think everyone should be awarded because that's what they're taught. They're wimps instead of tough because they weren't taught to be tough but to get angry or cry at the unfairness.

I think that political correctness is a ploy for people not to defend themselves. Kids are taught to think of the other person instead of themselves...when they are the one's getting bullied. That's wrong. The mentality to think of the other person would be a good way to think...if we lived in a perfect world. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world. Some people in this world want to kill us, and we need to defend ourselves. We don't need to start a fight, but if someone else does than we need to protect ourselves. 

Political correctness isn't good. It's good to be nice, but it's not good to be forced. I hope my post is a wake up call to all people to realize that they don't want to be forced. I believe that political correctness was started in the 60's by metaphysical people who believed in eastern religions. They founded social groups in the 80's and taught their philosophies on recognizing feelings, and being peaceful to establish peace. The world embraced it and now, 30 years later, we are wimps and won't defend ourselves.

Let's be what we know is right. We know right from wrong, let's do it. 

My Sleep Apnea Machine

My doctor diagnosed me with Sleep Apnea in 2000. Since that time, I've had a c-pap machine that helps me breathe at night. People with Sleep Apnea have throats that cut off their air supply when their throats relax (during sleep.) The c-pap machine blows air through a tube and mask which makes the person's throat stay open so they can breathe.

The machine keeps the person from snoring. My husband says the sound of the machine is better to hear than me gasping for air. Over time, he has become used to hearing my machine and says it's soothing. The machine isn't loud but compared to hearing nothing, he had to get used to hearing it.

Before I got the machine I snored horribly. I probably scared Per to death when I stopped breathing then gasped for air in my sleep. (According to the sleep study people, I did that 16 times per hour. They say I have Moderate Sleep Apnea.) When I snored, Per would shake the bed to wake me up. As a result, now I wake up whenever he turns.

At the time, I slept better in the living room, sitting straight up in my comfy chair, because I didn't snore or gasp for air. (On several occasions, I slept there instead of my bed because I got better sleep.)

When I laid down, and after my body relaxed, I could feel my throat closing. I tried to keep my mouth open with my fingers, or a pen, or whatever I could find but knew they would fall out of my mouth when I fell asleep. I actually felt relief when I received a machine that helped me to breathe because I knew I couldn't do it myself.

I probably was destined to get Sleep Apnea because I remember that for years my dad slept in a living room recliner and snored very loudly. Years later I learned that he had gotten a c-pap machine.

The mask is the part that bugs me. I imagine I look like Darth Vader when I wear it. I feel self conscious wearing it in front of my husband but I think he cares more that I can breathe over what I look like. I have the mask that sits over the nose and connects to a tube which connects to the machine. I tried the other mask (that has two "pillows" that sit on the nostrils and blow air into the nose,) but didn't like it because it made me feel claustrophobic and kept slipping off my nose when I turned my head.

When the machine is on it blows air, so if I say anything to my husband he hears my voice AND the rushing air. It didn't take me long to figure out that I needed to tell my husband I loved him before I turned my machine on.

Sometimes when I'm sleeping I unknowingly take my mask off. I don't know why I do it, I just know that when I do I wake up (to the sound of rushing air) soon realizing I need to put my mask back on.

I know I get more restful sleep when I use my machine. I can't imagine having Sleep Apnea and living in a time before someone invented it. I'm grateful for it and couldn't sleep without it!

Forgiving Injustice

Segregation and a lack of civil rights DID exist in the 1960's. Folk singers sang of injustices. Songs known as "spirituals" spoke about a better day. The world stopped using slaves but it took decades before light people called dark people simply...people.

Some dark people haven't dismissed the injustices done to their people (and maybe them.) Songs from the 60's and memories of wrongs cause people to not only say "that wasn't fair" but to want light people to suffer for the injustice. The feeling I get is this thought my people suffered, now you suffer.

Having this mentality causes at least two problems: 1) anger, 2) the people who suffered aren't elevated to inspirations but victims. When a person feels anger toward someone else, the anger stops them from being their true self. They are so encapsulated by their anger that they push out love and every other good feeling. They become enraged by their anger as they allow it to fester. They get a bitter heart because they simply won't let go of injustice.

Injustice inevitably happens in a world full of imperfect people. We can either choose to be angry or forgiving. Forgiveness doesn't mean thinking of the injustice as right, but letting go of the anger held in the heart. I've had injustice done to me. Not segregation but the thing hurt me just as deep. I ended up letting it go because I didn't want to be an angry, bitter person.

Respect in America

My conscience tells me that the difference between Democrats and Republicans is the way they view things. Democrats are for progress and evolution. They see things as living and seek to change them if they think things should be done differently. Another word for Democrat is Liberal. Republicans are for keeping some things the way they are. They believe in progress that helps mankind but see some things as set in stone. They don't want things changed just because they can be. Another word for Republican is Conservative. There are varying degrees in both parties - some people are more Liberal or Conservative than others - but each American, in their heart, is either one or the other. 

The two parties will never see eye to eye but they can work together on the basis of respect. I see a lack of respect when someone says "I'm right, you're wrong!" People with opposing views have worked together for years but something has happened where now they are unwilling to compromise. It seems like one side won't work with the other unless the other side agrees with them completely. That will never happen!

Since 1980, America has had mostly Republican presidents. Now America has a Democratic president. Some of the people who support him point their finger at non-supporters and say "it's our turn!" Those people cause division and hatred and bully those who disagree with them. They also try to force people to believe in something they don't. They may be a different degree of Democrat - more Liberal, or outspoken, or whatever - but they are Democrats and, in my mind, giving all Democrats a bad name.

If Mitt Romney wins the presidential election in November, and once again America has a Republican president, I hope he will work to establish respect. If Obama wins, I'm guessing there will be more division, hatred, and bullying than ever before. I'm scared of the division, hatred, and bullying and think it will make America go backward and not progress.

Why Things are Done That Way

In some cases, I imagine people asking questions and hearing "I don't know." In other cases, I imagine them asking questions and receiving an answer. For example, my neighbor lets her kids play outside until 10pm. Perhaps her mom said, "I don't know how late kids should stay out" so my neighbor decided on 10pm. If I asked my mom the same question, she'd say, "Don't bother people after 9pm."

Society gets changed when people do things a new way either because they don't know or because they DO know but don't want it done that way. For years, people didn't get bothered after 9pm. My neighbor came along (who either didn't know the tradition or wanted to set a new one) and BAM! the tradition changed. 

I don't hear it called changing traditions but evolving. Sometimes I don't think evolution is necessary. I think we need to keep some things the way they are and teach people if they don't know. If I don't know, I need to find out before changing it.

The New and the Old

After 20 years we changed dentists. I thought about going on Angie's List to see what dentists people recommended, then I remembered how before Angie's List existed I used the Better Business Bureau to determine a company as good or bad. (I thought of a company as bad if they had unresolved complaints or a score less than A. I thought of a company as good if they had no complaints or an A. I thought of a company as really good if they had no complaints AND an A.)

Angie's List allows everyday people to comment about services. That can be good and bad. It's good because we get to see people's opinions, but bad because if they have a derogatory opinion, the company can be smeared without any form of protection. Also, haters exist who say mean things just because they can.

The Better Business Bureau may not tell people's comments but it protects companies from harm. People on Angie's List may have the ability to say whatever they want, but it's only good as long they have a positive comment. Some people say bad things, and sadly nothing stops them from being as mean as they want.

I think people don't consider how their derogatory comments may hurt the company for a loooooooong time. Perhaps the hurt person feels so angry at the company that they don't care if they hurt them.  (I can guarantee that the hurt person doesn't consider how their mean words might affect the company's future. Saying something mean is like sticking a red hot poker in the company's belly to make them pay for what they did. How vengeful! How spiteful! Does the hurt person really want to contribute to the reason for possibly ruining the company's success? Where's their mercy?) I believe in the statement more and more that "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

No wonder companies need lawyers, because some people are mean. At least the company accredited with the BBB has the Attorney General on their side. The Attorney General doesn't investigate complaints on Angie's List but he/she does investigate complaints filed with the BBB. I say that a company needs to protect themselves by getting accredited with the Better Business Bureau.

Back to my search for a dentist. My post makes me appreciate people wanting to save me from trouble; however, I don't want to read derogatory comments. I think I'll stick with the BBB's accreditation score and realize that if a company has a score less than A,  someone doesn't like them.

Some of the things society has done for a long time seem to be unraveling as we advance. People may intend for new things to be helpful, but some people are not nice and the things they say are hurtful.

I think we'll see the return of established companies like the BBB when people realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

The Evolution of My Son, Andrew

His initials are ANGL. It suits him to be an angel because he cares about people. 

He had a happy personality as a kid. As a child, he showed his emotions on his face. I used to call him "puppy dog" when he felt sad because his eyebrows would point upward and coupled with pathetic looking big brown eyes, he looked like a sad little puppy.

He started drawing at three. His fascination with Pokemon led him to put a Pokemon card next to his paper and draw what he saw. Amazement struck me when my little three year old  produced at least 20 drawings in crayon that each looked like their respective cards. I thought he would be an artist. 

My little dare-devil artist who loved facts and always wanted to know the truth. He had no fear when he jumped off the coffee table and landed in my arms at one year old, or at three when he sped on his little pink bike on the sidewalk, going like a bat out of hell, and purposely rammed a wooden beam that threw him from his bike and made him cry, or at four when he jumped to the floor from the top bunk of his bed (just because,) and screamed bloody murder.

He got his first "real" skateboard for his sixth birthday. He positioned his ramp so that he landed on the grass, then he skated outside for hours whether the temperature felt hot or cold. When I think about his skateboarding skills then and now there's no comparison. He couldn't do an Ollie when he got his first board but he watched Tony Hawk's Trick Tips and practiced until he could. Now, he can do many tricks on his board. 

As a young kid,  if he couldn't be found outside skating he either sat in front of the TV watching his Tony Hawk video or played with his tech decks. He must have had at least 50 of them. He'd take them apart and change their wheels. If a tech deck didn't appear in his hand, he made whatever he held (if anything!) into a skateboard and did tricks with his fingers complete with sound effects!

He did well in school. His beautiful penmanship and detailed pictures on his assignments caused awe in his teachers and they would often write something like "Wow!" on his work. He never waited until the last minute to do anything. When given an assignment, he usually started working on it that day.

He began making movies in 9th grade with my little Canon digital camera. It surprised me that he could make good videos from a camera that didn't have video as its main feature. Sometimes he filmed his friends doing tricks at the skate park. Whether making a movie or filming skateboarders, he knew how to make videos because over the years he had filmed himself skateboarding many times. 

I promised to send him to Camp Woodward in California the summer before his senior year of high school. He dreamed of going to that skateboard camp and wanted to one day be a professional skater. Many times after skating he came home bummed because he didn't land a trick. When he filmed movies, he always came home happy and displayed excitement and anticipation to see the outcome. He had a natural talent for filming. His endless film ideas gave him energy, yet he wanted to be a pro skater and gave all he had to be something that required a lot of natural skill and some luck. Skateboarding didn't come naturally to him but he wanted to do it more than anything.

He chose to get a nice camera instead of going to Camp Woodward in 2011 because a camera would last longer than a week at camp. Also, he decided not to pursue becoming a pro skateboarder. He knew he had a talent in film that he didn't have in skateboarding. Ultimately, he decided to pursue filming pro skaters, and to one day become a director.

He officially graduated from high school six days ago on May 20, 2012. His huge accomplishment of completing 12 years of school causes me to feel proud of him.

• He won 1st place in a writing contest in 2nd grade with his piece called "My First Loose Tooth."
• KC Wolf (The Chiefs mascot) honored him at a school assembly in 4th grade when he won the "Three Dairy a Day" contest with his picture that depicted a Chiefs football player running with a carton of milk instead of a football.
• The Olathe Daily News mentioned him in their newspaper when he drew the ad that won their contest in 6th grade.
• He also won the top youth bowler award at the Olathe Lanes bowling alley that year.
• From 7th to 9th grade, Chisholm Trail Junior High honored him each year with academic awards for having a high GPA.
• Olathe Northwest High School honored him in the 10th and 11th grades with high GPA academic awards.
• In 10th grade his e-Comm team won 1st place in video for the Martin Luther King "Only Light, Only Love" commemoration.
• The varsity bowling team accepted him for two years and he lettered in the sport in 11th grade.
• He won 2nd place in the late night Call of Duty competition at Best Buy and received a copy of the game.
• In 12th grade, at the Student Television Network (STN) national conference in Dallas, TX, he won two awards for his documentary, "Freeling" .
• At STN, his e-Comm team also won 2nd place for their music video.
• Another award at STN said his e-Comm team won 1st place for their "sweet sixteen" film.
• He received a 1st place award for "Freeling" at the eMagine Film Festival in Kansas.
• Lastly, at the end of 12th grade, and just before graduation, he learned he won the opportunity to fly to LA to be a part of the film crew for the ATandT and Wayfinder.tv production of "On The Road With Paul Rodriguez" (a pro skateboarder.) He flew to LA the day before the graduation and began working with Paul and the crew shortly thereafter. He never gave up on having a dream and now he's living it.

Andrew is no stranger to receiving awards. It seems like he's good at whatever he touches whether it's art, school work, bowling, playing the trumpet, working at Rock Band, doing his best in Call of Duty, or making films. I'm excited to see where his future leads.

Bryan and Kimbra Married!

On April 26, 2012, Bryan and Kimbra married in the Salt Lake temple! They married on a Thursday and shared their special day with at least six other couples. As I entered the temple, I could feel the reverence of the Lord's house. Temple workers, dressed in white, whispered respectfully and directed us where to go.

First, a temple worker instructed us to take off our shoes. (I'm guessing we did this to preserve the carpet and as a form of reverence.) Anyone could put on socks, stacked neatly in a basket. We didn't change into white clothes because we only witnessed the wedding, so we wore what we had on. Second, we went to a waiting room where we sat until we heard our party's name called. I didn't say anything to the lady sitting a few chairs from me (and in another wedding party,) but I heard her say she lived in Overland Park, KS, the town next to mine...what a small world.

Third, another temple worker called our name and our party went to the room where Bryan and Kimbra would be married. During the ceremony I realized I sat watching a wedding. (Members of my church call weddings in the temple "sealings" because we believe that couples with temple marriages are sealed for time and all eternity versus marriage until death.) Bryan and Kimbra exchanged rings after the ceremony and again I didn't realize that they had just been married. The temple sealer had said "husband and wife" and Bryan and Kimbra had kissed across the alter but the fact that they had married didn't hit me until at almost the end.

We went back outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out so we could say "Congratulations!" and take pictures. Bryan and Kimbra came out of the temple and some people in our party cheered. The bride and groom plus family and friends posed for pictures on the stairs of the temple. The day felt beautiful and didn't get windy until just before we left.

Bryan and Kimbra had arranged to have a really fun wedding reception in Provo that night. They did a great job and made the event a true celebration. The food tasted awesome. Instead of a guest book they had a photo booth where participants could pose for pictures taken in black and white or color; and use props or not. The participants could keep one sheet of photos and put another sheet in a book with a note they had just written. The photo booth added to the entertainment and documented people's personalities well.

Bryan and Kimbra's Wedding Video

Bryan and Kimbra went on a cruise to the Bahamas for their honeymoon. They had a lot of fun and relaxed a bunch! They saw lots of exotic fish, ate some amazing dinners, and swam in beautiful water. They spent so much time in the sun that they got burned! (sad face)

At the Atlantis water park - Nassau, Bahamas

A little burned - but VERY happy!

They both graduated (on April 20, 2012) from BYU six days before they tied the knot.  Bryan graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Advertising and Kimbra graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Human Development. They studied hard in school but felt extremely glad when it ended.

BYU Graduation Day

I have a married son and a daughter. Kimbra's a very nice girl. She's so sweet and caring. Boys are sweet and caring too but in a different way. I didn't realize how like my boys I'd become but when she didn't laugh at some things I thought of as funny, I saw how masculine my thoughts and behaviors had become. After living in a predominantly male house, I feel happy about adding another girl to our family.

Bryan and Kimbra visited us for two weeks right after their honeymoon and attended a wedding open house for them here in Kansas. Per cooked some yummy things for dinner and Bryan, Kimbra, and I did some fun things during the day. I'm glad they visited us because it gave us more happy memories of them. I know that they need to live on their own and establish their married life, but I will miss them.

Nick Camillo (the guy who sang the song on their engagement video) gave them this as a wedding present.

Wedding Gift from Nick Camillo

Here's the actual engagement video:

Bryan and Kimbra's Engagement Video

I love them both very much and wish them much happiness in years to come!

Choosing Love over Hate

This morning, I heard an audio clip of the leader of the black panthers going on about how much he hates white people. He even called them crackers. It seems like freedom of speech is alive and well on the radio but if a child expresses their opinion in the classroom (also free speech) then it's slander if the teacher disagrees. Why is it OK for one person to speak their mind but not OK for someone else? One's opinion is never wrong - it's how they feel or what they think. To not allow certain opinions seems hypocritical to me.

As I heard the black panthers leader talk I thought give me a break, black people haven't been the only one's oppressed. I also thought just because a person has white skin, doesn't mean they're white. My dad had very dark skin. So much so that when he served in the Navy in the 1960's, when segregation still existed, an officer told him he couldn't use the white man's restroom because of the darkness of his skin. Segregation didn't exist only against the black person...but against anyone of color. I have white skin because I have some European heritage, but I also have some Hawaiian heritage. Am I a cracker just because my skin is more light than dark? Isn't judging me based on the color of my skin segregation? I find it ironic that a person who speaks against segregation seems to be doing that very thing.

I agree that oppression is wrong. I believe that no one should be forced to do anything. But I don't agree with being hateful because wrong things are done. We live in an imperfect world where inevitably wrong things happen. But we are free to choose how we will react. It comes down to whether we have hate or love in our hearts. The leader of the black panthers said hateful things. I could be hateful and bitter because injustices have been done to me and those I love, but I choose to be loving because that's the kind of character I want to have. My feelings get hurt but I'd rather forgive than hold a grudge.

I read somewhere that a person who holds on to anger is more susceptible to cancer. That makes sense to me because vile thoughts spread through the mind. Perhaps they also spread throughout the body and cause dis-ease when they are allowed to fester.

It's More Righteous to be Poor (my theory)

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. (Mark 10:25)

And he began to be lifted up in the pride of his heart, and to wear very costly apparel...  (Alma 1:6)

I've noticed that some people make due with hand-me-downs rather than strive to have quality. Yet they try to get as rich as possible. It seems like a rich person is frowned upon whereas a poor person is accepted. Whether rich or poor, some people flaunt their money. What they appear to be or to have rather than who they are seems most important.

Per's theory may likely be true that if a person wins the lottery, they are a hero. But if a person earns or inherits their money, they are selfish.

Money has nothing to do with righteousness. The important thing is the desire of the heart. If money is loved more than God it's a problem. Money is not evil, the LOVE of money is. The scriptures above emphasize this.