The Happiness I Feel

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I love my things but if a tornado took them all away, eventually I'd feel happy because everything I need is already in my heart. 'Of course' I'd feel sad for a while because a tornado and losing my things would be devastating! But I wouldn't let the sadness permanently affect my mood. Just like with my MS, one day I'd say, "Enough!" Then, once again, I'd determine how I feel.

Feeling happy is my choice, and it's something I face everyday. I ask myself, "Will I rise above the unfair thing and not let it affect me?" I used to let things affect my happiness. If something didn't go right I attacked myself. I'm a perfectionist who likes perfect things, and when things didn't go perfectly, or when I did something wrong, or when someone was mean to me, or when I ruined something, or when I didn't accomplish everything on my list, or when I burned dinner I thought rotten things about myself.

What I know now is that the world is not fair; nothing in this world is perfect and that's okay; I'm not always gonna do things right but I'm always gonna do my best, what people say and do is a reflection of them not me, sometimes things get ruined but I'll try as much as possible to avoid it, and sometimes dinners don't turn out the way I want but the important thing is that I tried.

I want to have a happy heart and know that more than just wanting it I must do what it takes to make it so. I live in the western world which means that I love things. But I know that 'things' don't determine my happiness.

Throwback Thursday: Per and Me

I had just turned 22 and Per was 23 on October 13, 1990. Our wedding was in Orem, UT and this picture was taken at Aspen Grove (in the canyon, a little bit up the road from Sundance). The backdrop isn't canvas, it's real. It was a beautiful fall day.

Respect

I understand the Savior's declaration, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

He was looking at the situation from their view point. If a person wasn't spiritual and they didn't believe in him they wouldn't understand why He did what He did. Instead, they wouldn't like that He rocked the boat of normalcy, they'd dislike his honesty, and they'd want to get rid of Him.

If I don't believe what another person does and I don't respect them, I might mock them and the things they hold dear; in that case, I don't understand and know not what I do. Sympathy and Empathy can only happen when I have respect for them. If I don't respect them, I might be able to pretend that I care but really, I don't.

Journaling is Important

I have a journal from 1958 that belonged to my Great-Grandma Clark. As I've read her words they have allowed me to know her more than just her name and the dates when she was born, married, and died. Her journal has also let me know her character and the kind of person she was.

During that trip in 1958 she:

• Sailed from America to England on the Queen Mary
• Met some of her relatives in England
• Attended the London, England LDS Temple dedication
• Did much genealogy in England before going to the European continent
• Went to the Worlds Fair in Brussels, Belgium
• Toured the European continent (Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, and France)
• Did much genealogy in England after going to the European continent
• Sailed from England back to America on the Queen Elizabeth
• Visited her brother in Cleveland, OH, USA

I am very much like Grandma Clark. We're both alike in these ways:

-Religious

-Tall

-Left-handed

-The oldest child

-Creative

-Love facts

-Love people

-Want to know about ancestors

-Independent

-Do what we want

I wouldn't have known so much about her if she hadn't kept a journal. She recorded many of the things said at the LDS Temple dedication; I know now that people say many of the same things today. I admire her tenacity because when she kept a journal she wrote every day. Sometimes she wrote just one sentence, nevertheless even that tells me something about her. She's been dead for more than 30 years, and I'm grateful to get to know her in the next best way (through her words) because she died when I was too young to appreciate her life. The things I have of hers mean more to me now because I know her better. Journaling helps me and it also helps my posterity to know me. I'll live on because of my words and truly become more than just a name on a page. UPDATE: If you want to read Grandma Clark's words see April 30th.

Kindness Goes a Long Way

Here's what I think: Be Nice.

Never hurt anyone. That's hard to do, especially when they've hurt me, but my actions always say how I am. I want to be loving so why would I be mean? Being nice means being nice at all times; that means even when people aren't nice toward me.

• The Dalai Lama said, "If you can, help others. If you cannot, at least do no harm."
• Mother Theresa said, "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless."
• President Monson said, "You can never be too nice." 

Three people from different backgrounds all saying the same thing. What does being nice mean? Having love in my heart. There's always two ways to say things: 1) Nicely, 2) Meanly. The question is: Do I want to be kind or unkind? Here's another question: If I died today, would I want to be considered nice or mean? Whatever my answer is, that's how I need to always be.

I love this message:

"It's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice." How true. I may get five seconds of fame but the way I am will live on for more than five seconds. So many people are sad. I may never know when someone's at the end of their rope, all I know is that what I say could either make them let go or encourage them to hang on. I want to be a bright spot in someone's day. I want to lift.

Enduring Something Hard

I heard a talk once where the guy said it was better to look on the optimistic side of mistakes and challenges because then you could laugh at them later. He said, "Come what may and love it." Another person said that in life you either had to laugh or cry. She said that she'd rather laugh than cry because crying gave her a headache.

I agree with them and think it's best to look on the bright side. I want to cheer myself up not feel down in the dumps. But let's be honest, I don't love everything. Sometimes I think, Come what may and endure it. I want to be optimistic and I think I'm pretty positive, but some things bug me and they always will.

There are some things that I really dislike about my trial.

At those moments I think about this picture:

Sometimes things are hard.

When things are hard I tell myself,
"I don't have to like it, I just have to endure it."

I live with people who care about me. Sometimes I don't want to hear any pep talks from them or even anything (because I'm close to tears.)
I smile, and imagine myself with kindness.
Then I think, You can do it. 
You're tough and you can handle it. I have faith in you.

Defening Truth

Satan's deceives people with lies, and I will point them out. I want to help people. Some of the tools Satan uses to deceive people are these:

Anger
When I allow myself to get riled up...especially on things I can't control...I feel upset. If I'd just not pay attention to it and change my focus, I'd feel peace. It's possible to feel fine amidst turmoil when I work on myself and focus only on the things I can change. It's not helpful to anyone to be Debbie Downer. Does assuming the worst do any good? No, it just makes me feel sad and miserable. Why condemn things and bring people down? Instead, I'll live my life and focus on being the best me possible.

Unfairness
Life isn't fair so why do I expect fairness? Isn't expecting fairness like being insane? The definition of 'insanity' = doing the same thing but expecting different results. There will always be unfairness somewhere, but I don't need to focus on it. Instead, I'll live my life and focus on being the best me possible.

Feminism
Women are capable, intelligent creatures who can do many things. How does it help women to bash men when most women secretly love them? I understand that women want to be all they can be, but I think they can do it without blaming anyone. No one determines my accomplishments but me. I won't hate men. Instead, I'll live my life and focus on being the best me possible.

Attack on men/boys
Most men/boys are not considered 'gentlemen' these days. I beg to differ. I think that men/boys are gentlemen but their gentlemen-like acts are expected and unnoticed, and, I'm sorry to say, even AFTER men/boys are gentlemen sometimes other people think it's not good enough and they just want more. Granted, most men/boys don't hold open doors for people, pull out people's chairs so they can sit, or stand up when a lady enters the room, but:

• How many men/boys pull up to the door (instead of just parking) so that people don't have to walk?
• How many men/boys let people out to walk under covered walkways so people don't get wet when they themselves walk in the rain?

Those are just two examples of how men/boys are gentlemen these days, and I could give many more examples. Men/boys are not zombies who are at other people's beck and call. No, they are people who deserve the same respect that other people want. It's true that back in the day men/boys got things that women didn't. But to blame men/boys today for something that changed many years ago is like blaming them for something they can't control. I won't attack anyone. Instead, I'll live my life and focus on being the best me possible.

Attack on family
The definition of 'family' seems to be open for discussion. To me, a family is one that is made naturally and consists of a mom, a dad, and children. Of course I describe the ideal which isn't always the case, but the ideal should be what I strive for.The family described has been that way since the beginning of people...that a family consisted of a mom, a dad, and children. Families aren't perfect, sometimes they disagree, fight, and dislike things, but in no better place can a person also learn to love, to serve, and to think about someone besides themselves. Why fix something that's not broken? Why redefine something just to make it modern? I won't judge. Instead, I'll live my life and focus on being the best me possible.

Satan deceives people to get them to follow him. I know that some people don't believe in Satan and they can believe whatever they want. I believe he exists and I won't sit idly by and watch him deceive people without saying something.

Daring to be Different

When I was younger I wanted nothing more than to be like everyone else. I didn't want to stand out but wanted to fit in. I remember crying in first grade when I asked my mom if I had to have the name 'Jade' in heaven and she said yes. I wanted my name to be common and printed on a pencil. In high school I remember hearing "Dare to stand alone". The leaders where I lived often spoke about daring to be a diamond in the rough and being one who stood out...they had a point. The one who stands out makes more of an impact than the one in a crowd of alike people.

This picture says it all.

I have the opportunity to possibly influence someone's life for the better if I'll just have the resolve to stand up for my beliefs. So many people need a friend. I say to myself, "Why not be that friend?"

Throwback Thursday: Ode to Some TV Shows During My Childhood

Here are five TV Shows that aired each year somewhere between 1975-1985 according to IMDb: 1975: Wonder Woman, Starsky and Hutch, Welcome Back Kotter, The Jefferson's, Isis 1976: Charlie's Angels, The Muppet's Show, Lavern and Shirley, The Bionic Woman, Alice 1977: The Love Boat, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Eight is Enough, Three's Company 1978: Dallas, The Incredible Hulk, Battlestar Galactica,WKRP in Cincinnati, Mork & Mindy 1979: The Dukes of Hazzard, The Facts of Life, Knotts Landing, Hart to Hart, Benson 1980: Magnum P. I., Bosom Buddies, Too Close For Comfort, Sanford, Solid Gold 1981: Dynasty, Cagney and Lacey, The Fall Guy, The Greatest American Hero, Gimme a Break 1982: Cheers, Family Ties, Knight Rider, Silver Spoons, Remington Steele 1983: The A-Team, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Wheel of Fortune, Webster, Hardcastle and McCormick 1984: The Cosby Show, Murder, She Wrote, Miami Vice, Night Court, Who's the Boss? 1985: Growing Pains, MacGyver, Moonlighting, Spencer: For Hire, Mr. Belvedere.

 

Click here to see a great video. I loved watching this guy on PBS. He had such a calm voice and was an awesome painter. Did you know that he permed his hair to save money on haircuts? He didn't have naturally curly hair but his hair became one of his trademarks.

Saying What I Want is Best

Recently, I learned this and think it's really helpful: "Most people say what they don't want but they don't say what they do want. Unfortunately, when they say what they don't want that's exactly what they get because it's their focus. If they don't want something they need to say the opposite." Saying what I want is best; here are some examples:

• I want to be thin instead of I don't want to be fat.
• I want to have money instead of I don't want to be poor.
• I want to do what I love instead of I don't want to do this job.
• I want to live in my dream home instead of I don't want to live here.

Happy April Fools Day

"I'd rather laugh than cry, crying gives me a headache." -Marjorie Hinckley

Today is April Fools Day and I won't trick anyone because if they tricked me back I'd probably start crying! (Because of my disease.) Before I got sick, I loved doing unexpected things and laughing. I still think things are funny but if I laugh too much I'll cry. (Because of my disease.) If someone jumped out from behind a door and scared me I'd probably fall over. The situation is funny but they'd probably feel bad, and hence they'd never do it.

Jokes are funny but they should never hurt anyone. A joke is only funny if both people laugh. I used to do jokes and laugh and never consider the other person's feelings. I'd make a joke, laugh, and sometimes do so at their expense. I'd laugh but they wouldn't. I'd say, "Lighten up" and they would...if they thought it was funny. A joke is relative: some people think it's funny and other's don't. (I'm sure that what I think is funny, some people don't.) But a person's feelings are never relative, and they are more important than a joke. When I make a joke to someone, either I'll laugh with them, or they won't laugh and I'll say, "I'm sorry" because I'll respect them.

Yesterday, I mentioned April Fools Day to someone and heard the best joke. They said to say if you put nylons (pantyhose) over a monitor, TV, iPad, or iPhone the screen would become 3-D. The thought of nylons covering monitors is hilarious to me!!! And the idea of someone putting their phone in a knee-hi cracks me up!! I know that some people won't find that funny, but I do. :)

Saying What I Mean

Sometimes I say "We", "You" and "They" when I really mean "I" and "Me." I want to be helpful but my words push people away...because they sound like lectures. I don't mean to sound annoying, self-righteous, perfect and judgmental but I do when I don't speak about myself. (I don't mean to sound 'preachy' but it's how I sound when I talk about anyone other than me.)

Sometimes lecturing is good (like when parents teach their young children, or when work leaders teach their employees), but my good intentions turn bad when unfairly I tell other people what to do. No one likes to see someone make a mistake or have a trial, but unless they're my young child I need to not lecture, turn my head, have faith in them, and hope for the best. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. Sometimes I learn the most when making the 'wrong' choice, and when I hear a person talk about themselves it inspires me to make a better choice.

(I have something to say about the word 'wrong.' The word 'wrong' is relative; what someone thinks is wrong someone else thinks is right. I think that focusing on someone's 'right' and 'wrong' choices distracts me from loving and having faith in them. Mother Theresa said that when you judge people you have no time to love them; that is so true! When I'm tempted to judge I need to not do it, let go of my control, tell myself, "It is what it is" and instead choose to love.)

I can hear moms saying to their young children, "We use our quiet voice in the house and save our loud voice for outside." I can hear dads telling their young families, "We don't do that in our family because we're the Joneses." I can hear managers saying to their employees, "At ABC Company we do this because that's who we are." None of those things sound 'preachy' because they're teaching and it's expected. But if that's not my situation no wants a lecturer but a friend.

Giving Up What's Holding Me Back

What I gave up
I thought my main addiction was something else, but it's not. My main addiction is food. Food is what stands between me and God. It's what I turn to for comfort, for peace, and for happiness. I asked God to help me lose weight but immediately had the impression that I didn't 'really' want to give it up; part of my heart was still attached to it. (I know He'll help me if I ask with all my heart, but that's where I feel stuck.)

I can hear Neal A. Maxwell saying, "We keep a summer cottage in Babylon." I can hear the father in Mark 9 saying, "Help thou my unbelief." It's a matter of trusting in God more than trusting in food. It's a matter of having faith that God will give me good things instead of having fear from thinking that bad things will happen.

How it held me back

He's already helped me in ways I can't explain. I need to remember His goodness and how He'll help me, and let go of something that will give me more of the same. I see myself carried in the air and wanting to rise, but holding on to something that keeps me down. If I'd just let go, I'd rise and experience happiness. It's like a person who went down with a sunken ship; they want to go to the top and get air but they're holding on to a dead body. They need to let go of the dead body, go to the surface, and save themselves.

For me, I need to trust God rather than trust food. Food has been my comfort, and my friend. It has brought me happiness and peace. But now it's time to let it go. God will replace all the things food gave to me. I'm not giving up my addiction to food to replace it with nothing. No! I'm giving it up to replace it with God. Giving it up is letting go of the past to have a new future. Everything in the future is new and the future is a place where I do it only because I choose.

Additional thoughts

This has been a huge learning experience for me.

The quote, "What you resist, persists" runs through my mind as I think about my 'diet' and what I couldn't have. I thought I'd have to give up certain foods, sacrifice, and that it would be hard. My 'sacrifice' became the elephant in the room that sat there EVERY DAY, and losing weight felt like a constant challenge.

Now that my focus has shifted I don't think it will be hard. I have absolute belief that I'll accomplish my goal and the great news is that it will be done while doing what I love...eating food! I look forward to this year as I slim down and reveal the 'real' me. This year will be fun, exciting, and the beginning of something new. My impression is that I'll still need to make wise choices, but that He'll help me.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? (Matthew 6:30) I need to trust Him to take care of me.

The Truth About My Body

I took a shower today and, unfortunately for me, the mirror in my bathroom is huge and directly across from the shower. (I get to look at myself every time I'm in the shower...and I never do!) Today I thought, I wish I had a different body. You know me...I ponder, and that's exactly what I did after my shower.

• I thought about how for many years I hated my body and, honestly, myself.
• I thought about how the 'skinny' girls on TV, in commercials, in movies, in magazines, and in person caused me to hate myself every time I looked at them.

Being the religious person I am: 

• I thought about how if my child hated themselves because they wished for a different body I'd be sad because I loved them and wanted them to be happy, and that's probably how Heavenly Father felt about me.
• I thought about who wanted me to hate myself and my body because he intended to hurt me, and because he never got born and didn't have a body.

Then:

• I thought about how wonderful it was for me to have a body and mind that helped me be a great person.
• I thought, So what if my body isn't the one I want. I can be a great person no matter the kind of body I have. 
• Lastly, I thought about all the ways I could be a great person.

It's a lie made up by Satan that if I'm not the 'right' shape I need to feel ashamed and be that shape. The truth is that all kinds of body types exist and honestly how I look doesn't matter, but who I am. The idea that I have to be a certain body type distracts me from working on important things like aspects of my character.

No More Beef

I knew five years ago that beef was hard on people with MS, but it took me four years to give it up. When I still ate beef I thought things like this:

• It's too hard. 
• I won't be able to stick to it. 
• I like beef too much to give it up. 
• What will I eat? 

Why didn't I think things like this?:

• I can do it. 
• I will stick to it and not quit. 
• I like other meat too, not eating beef will be okay. 
• I will eat chicken, pork, turkey & fish, and my options are more than what I will give up.

I haven't eaten beef for over a year and I feel great! Here are some things I did:

• Not ground beef, but ground turkey.
• Not beef roast, but pork roast.
• Not beef ribs, but pork ribs.
• Not beef burger, but turkey burger.
• Not steak, but some other kind of meat.

I thought I'd miss beef, but I don't. My experience tells me that 1) It's better to look on the bright side, 2) It's not giving it up to nothing but giving it up to another choice.

My Miracle

Miracles can be big or small
Anyone who knows me might know that I love to iron. I especially love to iron shirts and pillow cases, and think I'm really good at it. To me, I love the smell and feel of crisply ironed pillow cases. Why is ironing a miracle? Because for five years I didn't have the ability (or the energy) to iron and now I do. Yesterday, for the first time in five years, I ironed my pillow cases. To some people it may seem like no big deal, and to others they might say, "Ironing? Yuck!" But the fact that I can once again do something I love is truly a miracle to me.

Miracles happen every day
Do people not acknowledge miracles as such because they don't want to be arrogant? Why is it arrogant to say that you experienced a miracle? Perhaps some people don't want to say the word 'miracle' because they think miracles no longer happen. According to the dictionary a miracle is 'a marvel; wonder', and that exactly defines my ironing experience yesterday.

Notice the wonderful things experienced
I'm sure that everyone has a miracle happen to them every day. Some miracles are big, but many are small. Perhaps the phrase, "Stop and smell the roses" means, "Stop and notice miracles". Maybe a miracle comes from seeing the good instead of the bad (the doughnut not the hole).

Miracles and Gratitude go together
When I experience something wonderful, I'm so grateful! The fact that I could iron yesterday is wonderful and I'm extremely thankful. I'm glad when I get to do or learn things, and, if I give credit where it's due, some of those things are miracles.

Jade's Ironed Pillow Cases

 

How A Person Should Be Treated

Everyone is equal
When a person becomes handicapped they stop being "normal". Some normal people tend to think the handicapped person doesn't know anything or they're at the bottom of the barrel. In my case, before I became handicapped I was the Young Women's President at church, as well as had many skills and knew several things. Just because I'm handicapped doesn't mean that my personality changed, nor does it mean that I forgot all my skills and don't have any knowledge. No! I'm the same person on the inside although I'm different on the outside.

I don't want to be disregarded to do some things that "normal" people do just because I have a handicap. I'll say something if it's too much for me, but I can do some things and say, "Please, let me try!" I strive to improve myself even though I have a handicap. I've always wanted to become more and truly believe that having a handicap has taught me many things about myself; things that could only be learned through having my challenge. I totally believe that I don't stop improving just because I have a handicap.

Challenges make people stronger
For me, a lot of learning has been accomplished during my challenge. Comparing the person I am today to me five years ago shows vast improvement. For example, I had a weaker personality back then and am much stronger today. To me, having a challenge is a blessing instead of a curse because so many good things happen as a result of it. Honestly, I shudder to think what life would be like if I hadn't gotten challenged.

Every challenge can become a blessing when given the chance to be a blessing. The challenges aren't as important as the lessons learned from them. Being the religious person that I am, I truly believe that God wanted to teach me something so he gave me a challenge. I believe these words with all my heart: "All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good". When I first became handicapped I didn't consider it for my good, but as I look back over the last five years I can clearly see the blessings.

Everyone is handicapped in some way
My challenge is physical - everyone can see it, but most people's challenges aren't seen. Everyone has challenges.

• Would it be fair to the person with a challenge, who asked to do more, if they weren't even considered to fill a need because they "had too much on their plate"?
• If they ask for it, why not help them instead of overprotecting?
• It's nice to pamper a person who seems to have a hard time, but when they say, "I can do more" isn't it crazy to not let them try? 

We don't have to stop being nice or caring when a person with a challenge says, "Thank you for caring about me. Please, let me do more. Let's make this thing work." If they want to try then why not let them? God gives us challenges because he see's more in us than we see in ourselves. When we learn from our challenges we become strong. I'm reminded of what my favorite philosopher said: "Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you."

Help people
Let's help people improve when they ask for it.

Some Great Words of Wisdom

My favorite philosopher is Jim Rohn
Currently, I'm reading his book called Leading an Inspired Life. Chapter 7 - The Road to Financial Independence has a section called Enriching Your Life.

Here are some excerpts, that I love, from that section:

• An enriching lifestyle is a matter of awareness, values, education, and disciplined taste. It is an art that brings joy as it is practiced; it's not just a subject to be studied. It is the deliberate decision to savor and enjoy all the experiences and possibilities of life. Having an enriching lifestyle means expanding your knowledge and experience with books, people, films, and new adventures. So appreciate everything and everyone with whom you come in contact. You can begin expanding your lifestyle today.
• All good things take effort, a conscious act from a unique thought.
• The key to happiness is not more. Happiness is an art to be studied and practiced. More money will only make you more of what you already are and send you more quickly to your destination. If you're inclined to be unhappy, you will be absolutely miserable if you get a lot of money. If you are mean, you will be a terror if you get a lot of money. If you are inclined to drink, you will be a drunk when you get a lot of money. More money will only make you more. But the good news is that more money will amplify your happiness if you are inclined to be happy.
• Style is not more. Style is an art, a genius, a design. Lifestyle is reserved for those who are willing to study and practice the higher arts of life. Lifestyle is culture, music, dance, art, sculpture, literature, plays, and concerts. Lifestyle is a taste of the fine, the better, the best. The philosopher Mortimer Adler once said that if we don't go for the finer tastes, we will settle for the mediocre ones. So develop an appreciation for the finer things in life. That is a worthy purpose - developing an appetite for the unique things in life. Remember, it's not the amount, it's the quality.

Why Jim Rohn is my favorite
How can I not love this book when he says things that help me to become a greater person?! He says so many great things that if I quoted all of them I'd repeat the entire 460 page book. I'm thankful that wise people take the time to say things that enhance my life.

What Actually Matters

A Great Quote

I read a talk yesterday that made me think so much of Per. The wife of the man I read about got quoted saying, "the man they have in mind is very different from the man I know. The man I know is a kind, loving husband and father whose greatest ambition in life is to make his family happy". She said that the public saw his stern side-one who followed rules, but his family saw his soft side-one who loved.

Comparing Americans and Swedes

A long time ago I heard a comparison between Americans and Swedes, it went like this: Americans are like peaches. When you first get to know them they are soft and sweet and easy to know. But the longer you know them, some are hard as rock in the middle and you wonder if they are really your friend. Swedes are like coconuts. Swedes are hard to get to know and tough to crack. But when you get into their hearts they are soft and sweet in the middle and a friend for life. When some Swedes trust, they are very loyal.

That comparison rings so true concerning Per-a Swede. He's hard to know and often get's misjudged. (For example, when he's quiet some people think he's snooty when the truth is that he has nothing of value to say. He's not the kind of person that babbles or says something to break the silence.)

The Truth

What matters about a person is who they really are-not who people 'think' they are. 

Valentine's Day is the Perfect Day to Say, "I Love You"

I don't say "I love you" only on Valentine's Day, but since the day is dedicated to love then why not say it. Everybody loves someone, whether it's a spouse, a significant other, a child, a parent, a friend, or even God. Some people hate Valentine's Day and I think they need to step outside of themselves and make someone else's day special. Yes, the holiday has become one to capitalize on, and yes, it's not the only day to express love, but everyone benefits from kindness. No matter how people say, "I love you" the important thing is to say it.