People are the Most Important Things

People are more important than property
(A car, a figurine, a fridge, etc.) Sometimes things are said in passing and forgotten by the person who said them, but to the person who heard the words they left lasting scars. For example, I pretended to spill fingernail polish on my dad's desk when I was twelve. (I bought the spilled fingernail polish at the store.) While sitting at the desk, I said, "Oh no!" and acted like I had spilled it. My dad (who laid on the couch) jumped up and started to take off his belt-he was a big 6'3" angry man. My mom got in-between the two of us before he spanked me. She lifted up the polish and said, "It's fake, it's fake." Luckily, I didn't get spanked. In this case, I was my parent's property. (As the oldest, I got spanked every time one of them cried.) I considered my dad 'mean' and thought the same about men for many years.

People are more important than desires
(What is wanted/not wanted) Sometimes things are said but not actually meant. Sometimes they do or say something just to get people off their backs or to quit bothering them. For example, I was just ten years old when I asked my dad for some watermelon. He probably didn't want to get me some so he said, "Just look at you." He tried to make me feel ashamed about my body probably because he didn't want to be bothered. It worked. I felt ashamed about myself for many years and considered myself "not good enough". He said his words to me in passing but they left lasting scars. They don't affect me today, but I'm 45 years old and still remember them.

People are more important than beliefs
(What is right or wrong) Sometimes things are said to shame a person when they believe the person did wrong. That's not correct. A person deserves love no matter what they do. For example, as a 17 year old pregnant teen living in Orem Utah, I lived in a town where most people believed that only married girls were pregnant and if you weren't married then you did wrong. (I don't wish to point out right or wrong but the treatment I received.) I was good-imperfect but good, but I did something 'wrong', so I was considered bad. I lived in Orem until 22 years old. I was considered 'bad' for nine months but felt like a bad person for many years. The shame and judgment left lasting scars - some of which I still battle today.

The correct way to speak
The only helpful words are uplifting, inspiring, hopeful, kind, and good. The second verse of a primary song says:

Before you say an angry word
Remember you'll regret it
For once it's said the harm is done
And some folks won't forget it

When I feel angry and want to lash out, I need to remember that I'll regret it and hold my tongue.