Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Wanting to Act Not React

Kindness
Sometimes my gut reaction is to burst in anger and say mean things. I don't want to do that ... ever! I really want to be in charge of myself at all times, and choose at all times how to act. I don't want to sometimes react with instinct but instead want to choose what to do.

Yesterday (while sitting in my living room chair) I had the impression that honesty diffused anger. I thought about the idea, and in my mind saw how when I said my feelings they wouldn't get bottled up and cause me to eventually explode.

I don't want to explode yet I want to say how I feel. I never control people's actions. It wouldn't be right to expect them to do what I wanted because they could make up their own minds. Sometimes people don't do what I want but the nice thing is to accept how it is and be nice anyway.

I totally believe that I control how I act. Sometimes I might feel to lash out, but at those times I need to suppress my instinct and instead be nice. I'm not an animal that only acts on instinct, I'm a human that chooses how to act. (I truly believe that if I don't give in to my instincts, those feelings will eventually go away.)

I'm thankful for my journal where I can express my feelings. When I'm mad I need to write down how I feel and not hurt anyone.

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